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Dogs = inconvenience? Enlighten me please!

5.1K views 47 replies 36 participants last post by  cheekyscrip  
#1 ·
Will someone please help clarify this before my poor little brain bursts with thinking?!


Was talking about going out for a birthday night out to OH, as his mum who usually babysits will be away. He suggested someone and I said no because I do not want someone who doesn't know the dogs coming and sitting in with them when there is an extra dog here too. Last time she babysat only Dave was here.

Well he said make it so there is not an extra dog... not possible as Simone is hopefully coming up for my night out with Kip so he will be here with the dogs.


ANyway, he then said that one day I will see how dogs inconvenience people :confused: I said My dogs do not inconvenience ME at all!!

So he said no but they do inconvenience everyone around you. I got annoyed (as you do) and he refused to elaborate on that but I would really like to know just How my dogs can be an inconvenience to Other people?!).



Now, I do all the feeding, training, walking, vets, buying for, looking after of the dogs. They are not a nuisance to visitors and they do not cause anyone to not be able to come round for a visit.
They don't cause me to not be able to do what I want (I rarely want to go anywhere anyway because I am not a social person) and they don't cause us not to be able to have days out etc because there is always someone around who could look after them or let them out.


I mean, at the end of the day it is my life, my dogs are part of my family and if someone has a problem with that.... tough sh!t. But if anyone can point out how My dogs would inconvenience someone else.... please let me know because its bugging me now :lol:
 
#2 ·
I dont get it either but I understand your frustration ...


I used to work as a carer for a lady who would constantly point out what a bind my dogs were and how they tied me down????

Once when I was feeling a bit down about Oscar being unwell she said . well maybe once hes dead you will be able to concentrate and cheer up, I cant have miserable people around me.
Needless to say I am no longer her carer.

It does make me wonder how those people cope with children or dont they bind you/ tie you/ inconvenience you?
 
#3 ·
OMG you sound just like me!

My OH mentions the dogs being inconvenient because we have to arrange someone to look after them etc he said people like his brother don't like coming over because the dogs are in the way and they wonder why we have them

It really annoys me that people don't see my dogs as my family and think I can just palm them off or leave them. My friends get annoyed as if my OH is working night shift I won't go for a night out as it means leaving to go out at 6 as she won't get ready at mine and not coming home til 3 or something and I said it is unfair.

She just says I can't let dogs rule my life :confused: sorry they ARE my life!

I just say to my OH who says I should make more effort - who needs friends when I have my dogs! :dita:


Phew sorry rant over.... :D
 
#4 ·
To be honest I don't think most people see them as part of the family. Us here on PF are the odd bunch. :p

There's a family holiday at the end of the month but we aren't going as the garden isn't secure. We wouldn't consider going without the dogs. However 2 other family members said they weren't taking the dogs as they wanted to relax and there was no way they'd take them. They're taking their children but not their dogs. I was horrified!!
 
#6 ·
Oh I hear you!!

My OH has often said about trips abroad and how we could've done them and how it's Molly's fault he hasn't sorted out his paperwork...

The answer is that we never did go abroad much before we had Molly anyway and I spent ten years waiting to be taken to NY. Still not been with him. And I shoved him upstairs on Sunday evening for two hours to sort out his paperwork, the distraction not being Molly but the pub and the television but mostly himself :rolleyes:

And don't get me started on my parents...
 
#7 ·
I've only had my little dog 7 weeks, she's had a rough time and needs lots of love, patience and security. My daughter doesn't get this at all, thinks she's ruling my life because I won't leave her home alone for hours. That's not what I got a dog for ! Yes, she is a tie, but I've waited years for a dog, first waithing to move to a more suitable environment, then retirement, and for the grandchildren to be more sensible. So i'm really committed to looking after her and that's how I want it. Inconvenience - No ! Commitment - yes !
 
#8 ·
If you share a living space with dogs, especially multiples then I can see how they could get in the way sometimes. Maybe if it's even just having to ensure the door is always properly shut so they can't out or, I dunno, the hair or maybe just getting underfoot- little things like that- that add up.

You don't notice it the same if you have grown up with dogs or are in raptures about owning them because it becomes second nature but I do think that if you are in a doggy household, everyone "suffers" the dog to some extent even if they aren't involved in primary care. Suffers is totally the wrong word, I know but I know what I mean!
 
#9 · (Edited)
They can be inconvenient, no doubt about it. So can children. Romantic evenings out for instance with kids take additional planning and you are likely to do it less frequently. With dogs it can be the same. The main difference from a lot of people is that you choose to live a life accepting the inconvenience as your dogs more than make up for it in other ways.

How many times have we on this forum advised young people to seriously think of the implications of getting a dog around college age stating how the social life will likely be seriously affected?

I wouldn't change having our dogs but will not deny that it means we aren't as "free" as we would be without them.

Edit: I think it's important we don't gloss over the fact that dogs can have an impact, especially when it comes to people considering getting a dog.
 
#10 ·
Dogs can definately be an "inconvenience".
I love my Izzy to pieces, and I wouldnt consider going on holiday without her, even hate going out without her and will always try to find a way.
But thats it, you do have to work them into your lives. And the ability to not go on holiday easily, or to stay at your friends/relatives for those extra couple of hours is in definition an 'inconvenience'.....but not something I would ever change.
*note- I don't have kids so can't coment on that side
 
#12 · (Edited)
They can be inconvenient, no doubt about it. So can children. Romantic evenings out for instance with kids take additional planning and you are likely to do it less frequently. With dogs it can be the same. The main difference from a lot of people is that you choose to live a life accepting the inconvenience as your dogs more than make up for it in other ways.

How many times have we on this forum advised young people to seriously think of the implications of getting a dog around college age stating how the social life will likely be seriously affected?

I wouldn't change having our dogs but will not deny that it means we aren't as "free" as we would be without them.

Edit: I think it's important we don't gloss over the fact that dogs can have an impact, especially when it comes to people considering getting a dog.
I think you are right in what you say but I think its a matter of perception.
Yes it takes more planning thats true and yes you have to commit to routines of walking, feeding, care which leave you less free to just take off and not look back. Not to mention the financial commitment involved ..

But I think thats what draws a line between committed dog people and not.
Those who see this planning and care as a burden or inconveniece and those who see it as a joy or even a blessing.

We all make choices in life and I think whats being talked about here is the way other people think they have the right to judge or question our choices..

I have a friend, she never married and never had children and through the years she has made a point of telling me what I was missing as she travelled around to gigs and holidays. Foot loose and fancy free she was the long time party girl... Then when she turned 40 she found that everyone around her had married and settled down and she was the last one partying and the fact that she was alone hit her hard.

All those years she laughed at me being a mum and being tied to the house and now thats exactly what she misses.

I think just like my friend maybe non dog people can only see the planning and the times you have to say no to something ,the being tied down... what they cant see or understand is the love the joy the daily enrichment that is bought to our lives by these dogs.

Life isnt about the odd party or holiday its about the day to day things /people that bring us joy...
 
#13 ·
ANyway, he then said that one day I will see how dogs inconvenience people :confused: I said My dogs do not inconvenience ME at all!!

So he said no but they do inconvenience everyone around you. I got annoyed (as you do) and he refused to elaborate on that but I would really like to know just How my dogs can be an inconvenience to Other people?!).

:lol:
Perhaps he means that he feels he cannot get close to you - emotionally or physically Ie he feels a bit resentful? It would be a natural feeling, no?

Any way, whilst your dogs are no inconvenience to you, you cannot really speak for others, can you? My guess is that perhaps people would think twice about saying something because they realise it would upset you?

I love my dog, and totally accept all the responsibility that having him in my life brings. However, I am quite sure that not everyone in my family view him in the same way. Its only natural because they havent got the same bond with him that I have.
 
#14 ·
I find having a dog inconvenient from time to time. I can't just agree to go on trips or get a flight back home to see friends and family. If there's something hubby and I want to do that will mean us being gone more than 4 or 5 hours then we have to arrange something for Spencer. He's an additional cost. He means we have to have the carpets deep cleaned before we move. Hubby has been pulled for having dog hair on his uniform. I stood outside freezing my ass off for nearly 8 hours when evacuated because dogs weren't allowed in the place they'd sent us all.

So yeah, from time to time life would be a lot easier without a dog lol. But I don't see Spen as an inconvenience, the benefits and pleasure I get from owning a dog far outweigh the, to me, minor inconveniences.
 
#16 · (Edited)
Perhaps he means that he feels he cannot get close to you - emotionally or physically Ie he feels a bit resentful? It would be a natural feeling, no?

Any way, whilst your dogs are no inconvenience to you, you cannot really speak for others, can you? My guess is that perhaps people would think twice about saying something because they realise it would upset you?

I love my dog, and totally accept all the responsibility that having him in my life brings. However, I am quite sure that not everyone in my family view him in the same way. Its only natural because they havent got the same bond with him that I have.
I was thinking this... I have been accused of the same. I've always loved dogs, but since getting Rufus and especially since Spencer came along, I have become very doggy, to the point where it's my everything now. Usually that's fine but sometimes it bugs my OH and his kids I think too. Sometimes when he wants a cuddle or something he says "just give the dog a shove over, so we can have a cuddle".. and I say "ooohh.. but he's sleeping" and he's a bit.. :rolleyes:

We also don't have as many non doggy days out now... We used to do things like go to theme parks, or the zoo, or something regularly but we don't do that so much anymore. We tend to go on walks, picnics, geocaching.. That's partly because the dogs will need a sitter, but also because I can't afford it because I don't have a well paid job anymore and these doggy days out are cheap!..

So mostly we live in bliss with the dogs, and everyone just gets that dogs are my thing thing, and that's ok... but sometimes there is the odd grumble.

To be honest, I think dogs can be an inconvenience. But, I love them and i'm happy to work around whatever they need without a second thought. Usually other people who love me are willing to do the same, but if they don't have the same connection then I can understand why they'd be a bit annoyed at times. Dogs do tend to soak up all the attention and are rather needy. It usually becomes more apparent at times like this and people get upset. I'd just rise above it, maybe he's had a bad day and is disapointed about not being able to do something special for the lady he loves on her Birthday. It's only a little problem though, i'm sure there will be a solution :)
 
#17 ·
As much as I love my dog (and I don't, for a second regret getting him) it's true that it CAN be inconvenient having a dog.
I can't just go out whenever I want to and everything takes more planning because I have to make arrangements for him as well as for myself and I know that this is not ideal for family/friends.
I knew that this is what would happen when I got my dog and I don't mind because the benefits far outweigh this but I think you have to acknowledge that there are time when having a dog is inconvenient...
 
#18 · (Edited)
There are times when things definately take more planning but nothing which cant be planned round usually ;) I know my family dont like dogs hugely and as a result I dont go there for weekends often as its not comfortable staying in a house where your not completely welcome with a dog and frankly I would much rather be at home with Millie :p

I have to admit though I would be devestated if my husband thought Millie was an inconvenience and said that to me :eek:

It sounds like he wants to treat you - Why not suggest do it when his mum is around?

Or cant the dogs be shut away / crated / in kitchen if they have had a really long walk etc so if someone else babysits they arnt dog sitting to ;) If its only a couple of hours and the dogs are well exercised I dont think thats unfair to expect.

Sound slike you have a very caring man there - let him take ya out ;) :p
 
#19 ·
I agree with Goblin. Of course they are an inconvenience! If by "inconvenience" we mean something that we have to think about rather than acting completely free and easy. However, lots of things in life are an "inconvenient"; having to put earning a living above doing a job you love that pays badly; someone you want to go away with having a fear of flying; somebody in your family getting ill; the weather! Not to mention the biggest "inconvenience" of all - having children. That is life and even the best of situations can always have a downside as well. Caring about someone often leads to inconveniences because you naturally consider what is best for them and hence limit your "complete freedom". The fact that you cannot go out without finding them a babysitter... is an inconvenience, but it's one that is outweighed many times over by the joy they bring the rest of the time.

However, for your OH to frame is as such is the problem. "Inconvenience" implies that you'd be better off without them, which frankly, is pretty outrageous of him to say. Especially considering you do all the work with them anyway.
 
#21 ·
I was pondering this as I was told the other week that I could leave Molly surely for the day by a friend who is a mum. I asked her if she'd leave her child all day. No apparently. Well that's that answered.

I did paint my OH a bit badly last night, he adores Molly and does walk her a lot bless him.
 
#22 ·
It's not about me and OH being able to do things together... we never go anywhere and he doesn't *like* going out doing things.

He meant it more like they inconvenience other people around us but I am not entirely sure what he meant. He will not elaborate on what he said.

I have (never had) any real need or want to go out and do things. My dogs are my life and I don't put them before my children so I can't see what the issue.
 
#24 ·
Dogs can defo be an inconvenience its just whether you are happy to accept the changes that you make to life to integrate dogs. Its the same way as children or other dependants can be an inconvenience but we have them because we want them in our lives so we adapt. The good things out way the bad etc. My OH thinks Walt is an inconvenience because we have to sort dog walker or day care if we go away etc. I think the cats are an inconvenice because we have to sort someone to stay in the house to look after them. My OH doesnt have a problem with the cats because loves them and naturally adapts her life where as its vise versa for me with the dog.
 
#25 ·
As I rushed home from a ttouch seminar a friend of mine had organised to get back to the dogs, I did think 'it would be nice to be able to spend some time with my friend without having to rush back for the dogs' and briefly looked forward to the time I would be dogless and could do what the hell I liked, then realised I'd actually be lonelier without them because they force me to go out and interact with people. They are a bloody inconvenience, but so is having a job. ;)
 
#26 ·
lol my parents do think my dogs are an inconvenience, my mum is adamant getting Tummel at 19 ruined my social life(i didn't actually have one, and still don't, i hate the idea of going out to pubs/clubs etc) and they think that getting 2 means we can't go anywhere. My dad seems to be under the impression i was wanting to travel the world, yeah there's a few places i'd like to go but i'll live!!!

I adore having dogs, i was brought up around them and have always believed a home isn't complete with one(or 6 ;) ). My parents don't have a dog as they both work full time and my dad is away from home a lot, my dad is desperate for one but they are both sensible enough to know it's not right. They moan that the cat and fish are inconvenient too :rolleyes:

I just tell them where to go, my dogs are like my kids, where i go, they go, yeah it can be a hassle planning your week around them but as they're literally all i do with my life it's not difficult(shoult see my planning for when i start working!!!)