I think it is due to a change is housing,if one partner moves out into rented and landlord may not accept animals,and also maybe someone who has been able to stay at home during the day finds that they have to work fulltime,when they split up.Its not something I would do,but people find themselves in different situation,finances etc and simply can't cope

oh and then you get the people who use it as an excuse to rehome...

 

I have to say I don't understand why so many do it. My relationship broke down just after getting Rupert, getting rid of him wasn't even considered! But then I didn't move out, we simply moved into separate rooms in the flat and lived as flatmates. If I'd had to find my own place in a hurry there might have been more problems. He wouldn't have kept Rupe, he didn't want a dog. I was on the waiting list for a council place for 6 years and didn't get offered a thing, couldn't afford private landlord and many don't accept dogs.

If me and hubby split up and I refused to take our dog then he'd have to rehome it as he'd be moved back into the block and they can't have dogs there.

 

I don't understand it either. You wouldn't hand your kids over to social services when your relationship breaks up so why do it with the dog.

When I had Grufty for 17 years I went through several relationship breakdowns and he was the one constant thing in my life and I was so grateful for that.

I find it difficult to understand all the ones that say they're getting rid of the dog because they've got a baby on the way but the dog is great with kids. WTF

 

There will be the genuine ones, the women who have run away from abuse and most refuge wont take pets. To be honest I would rather put my dog in rescue (if foster was not available) than leave it behind with an abusive partner.

There will be the ones that have a mental breakdown once the partner leaves and cannot cope, the ones that have to move into homeless etc and lots of people don't know about fostering places.


Personaly I would beg friends and family to take care of the dogs until I found somewhere to rent that would take them.
If I had to work full time I would have someone come and let them out etc. And I would spend time getting them used to the increased hours so as not to develop SA.

Some people just don't try hard enough.

 

Yeh I understand some cases are real, heartbreaking and probs unavoidable, but i see it a lot! (have a bad habit of lookin on rescue sites and gettin upset, I'm an idiot)

Unless most splits mean cannot keep dog.

 

I don't understand it either. You wouldn't hand your kids over to social services when your relationship breaks up so why do it with the dog.

When I had Grufty for 17 years I went through several relationship breakdowns and he was the one constant thing in my life and I was so grateful for that.

I find it difficult to understand all the ones that say they're getting rid of the dog because they've got a baby on the way but the dog is great with kids. WTF

Oh now that's another can o worms! In fact that really angers me!!!!

 

I don't understand it either. You wouldn't hand your kids over to social services when your relationship breaks up so why do it with the dog.

When I had Grufty for 17 years I went through several relationship breakdowns and he was the one constant thing in my life and I was so grateful for that.

I find it difficult to understand all the ones that say they're getting rid of the dog because they've got a baby on the way but the dog is great with kids. WTF

No you wouldn't hand your kids over to Social Services but that is different, however much you don't want it to be. Landlords allow children, children are in free schools all day and many have cheap (free?) before and after school clubs so if you suddenly find yourself having to work full time you know that they will be looked after for a long time. Unfortunately, there is no similar scheme for a dog.

I think if my relationship broke down and my dog needed rehoming I would ask my mum to look after her for the times I was out at work but I could see that if I was in that situation I would find having 3 kids, no home and having to find a job incredibly stressful and as I suffer from depression I could imagine thinking about rehoming Jenny as best for her. In reality I think my kids would need her to keep some sense of not losing everything they rely on.

I would move heaven and earth to keep Jenny but I couldn't say 100% as I don't know what situation I would be in

And I would never rehome any of my aminals due to having a new baby, that is just ridicuous IMO

 

I don't understand it either. You wouldn't hand your kids over to social services when your relationship breaks up so why do it with the dog.

Yes but kids are generally accepted when renting or if you end up in a hostel and family are more likely to accept taking kids in than a dog.

If my partner and i spit it would be difficult to keep the dogs as he's out of the house 12+ hours a day and i would probably find it difficult to get dog friendly accommodation then needing to work full-time. Alone we may both struggle to fund a dog walker instead as it was about £200 a month last time i looked into it. Not everyone has family/friends that are willing to take the dogs.

Some people of course will use any excuse to rehome a dog

 

I personally think its used as an excuse, same as 'our landlord wont let us have pets' - you must've known that BEFORE you brought the puppy/dog! Makes me really angry ..

 

I agree. So many bought dogs on impulse during the pandemic without thinking it would be a 11-15 year commitment. All the rescue centres are full to bursting as a consequence.

 

This exact thinh has just happened with my sisters dog.

She meets man, moves on to narrow boat with him.

Buys a BOXER!!! and then they split up.

She takes dog wth her to house shes renting, then takes the dog back cos she cant cope with it.

So ex partner cant keep it on the boat cos of work, so poor thing has gone into rescue..

Wish people would ruddy think before getting a dog

I did try to talk her out of it, but hey she knows best

 

I came very close to having to make this decision a few months - my OH and I almost split up and it would have been very difficult (if not impossible) for me to find somewhere to live that would take dogs and that I could afford. I work in London so in order to have time for the dogs I need to live close to my place of work (an hour and a half commute wouldn't work), while I'm not poorly paid, I'm nowhere near well paid enough to afford even a studio flat and a dogwalker on my own (and I looked very hard). I emailed over 250 shared houses and none of them would take dogs.

So my choices would have been - afford a flat close enough to work so I'm not out of the house 12+ hours a day but leave them alone 9/10 hours as can't afford a dog walker or live futher away and have a dog walker but have no time to spend with them. My parents couldn't take them as neither are cat friendly and they have cats. I don't have any other friends or family who would or could take them. Temporary foster isn't an option as my circumstances wouldn't be changing any time soon.

I decided that rather then put them through a situation that I didn't think they would cope with that I would return them to the rescue so they could be responsibly rehomed. Thankfully my OH and I reconciled and we are now moving in somewhere that I will not have to leave if we do split up.

 

I believe that a lot of people give up on their dogs for casual reasons (can't be bothered, didn't put any thought into getting one in the first place, can't cope because they haven't bothered to train etc) but give excuses so they don't have to admit this - the usual ones being relationship split, house move / landlord, baby or allergies.

However - there ARE genuine cases and IMO it is unfair and downright rude / cruel to judge people without knowing the full circumstances. Even if you have been in a similar situation it wouldn't be exactly the same as various factors will come into play.

If a split leaves you homeless you may have very limited options - maybe moving from a normal house+garden to a third floor studio flat; or having to rent (which can be difficult with dogs); or having to get a room at someone elses place etc.

The split may have financial consequences - a dog that is easily afforded by a couple may be a struggle for a single person to care for properly - especially if the person keeping the dog has the lower income.

With the financial aspect comes work - a dog that once had compay most of the day may now have to be left for anything up to 12 hours a day, and hiring someone to help out might not be an affordable option at this time.

Emotional issues - some people end up in a serious state of depression, leaving them unable to care for themselves properly let alone another "dependant". Of course, for many people having the dog there will help - but we all react differently and some people may find the opposite happens.

Abuse cases I hope speak for themselves. If a person can't take their dog to a refuge and won't leave it with a violent partner....

In cases like these rehoming is done for the benefit of the dog.

How often on this forum do people complain about dogs being kept in unsuitable accomodation, left for long periods, etc. How do people react when someone comes on here saying they can't afford vet fees or a trainer?

You can't have it both ways.... it may simply be the case that rehoming is the best option, where the dog would suffer if it was kept.

Don't get me wrong, I find it heartbreaking reading all the ads and knowing many of the reasons given are nothing more than excuses...

But to sit here and slate people who may be having serious problems and are doing whats right by the dog despite causing themselves horrendous guilt and misery in the process I find pretty damn offensive.

 

Any dog I take on is wih me until they or I die. And I have provisions for if I die, so there's no way any dog of mine would be given up.

 

I would move heaven and earth to keep my dogs, but I know would be awful if found myself on my own after a relationship breakdown, they would be the one thing I would want to keep above all else...

However I am out at work 11 hours a day, even with a break its a long time to leave the dogs; my family all live down south and one is funny wiht other dogs so they couldn't go to daycare... and thats if could afford it etc....

I know alot of people also struggle to suddenly find rented accomodation that will take dogs, along with change in working hours etc. I think there are genuine cases that are really sad and others where perhaps a small change would allow the dog to stay..

 

I believe that a lot of people give up on their dogs for casual reasons (can't be bothered, didn't put any thought into getting one in the first place, can't cope because they haven't bothered to train etc) but give excuses so they don't have to admit this - the usual ones being relationship split, house move / landlord, baby or allergies.

However - there ARE genuine cases and IMO it is unfair and downright rude / cruel to judge people without knowing the full circumstances. Even if you have been in a similar situation it wouldn't be exactly the same as various factors will come into play.

If a split leaves you homeless you may have very limited options - maybe moving from a normal house+garden to a third floor studio flat; or having to rent (which can be difficult with dogs); or having to get a room at someone elses place etc.

The split may have financial consequences - a dog that is easily afforded by a couple may be a struggle for a single person to care for properly - especially if the person keeping the dog has the lower income.

With the financial aspect comes work - a dog that once had compay most of the day may now have to be left for anything up to 12 hours a day, and hiring someone to help out might not be an affordable option at this time.

Emotional issues - some people end up in a serious state of depression, leaving them unable to care for themselves properly let alone another "dependant". Of course, for many people having the dog there will help - but we all react differently and some people may find the opposite happens.

Abuse cases I hope speak for themselves. If a person can't take their dog to a refuge and won't leave it with a violent partner....

In cases like these rehoming is done for the benefit of the dog.

How often on this forum do people complain about dogs being kept in unsuitable accomodation, left for long periods, etc. How do people react when someone comes on here saying they can't afford vet fees or a trainer?

You can't have it both ways.... it may simply be the case that rehoming is the best option, where the dog would suffer if it was kept.

Don't get me wrong, I find it heartbreaking reading all the ads and knowing many of the reasons given are nothing more than excuses...

But to sit here and slate people who may be having serious problems and are doing whats right by the dog despite causing themselves horrendous guilt and misery in the process I find pretty damn offensive.

As above bolded

 

I always wonder why this things happen... both owners should want to take the dog...

 

Yes both owners should want the dog - but who are we to say they don't? Both parties may be devestated at having to give up their dog but perhaps neither can provide a decent quality of life on their own?

Perhaps one partner can afford the dog, is keeping the family home etc but can only do so because they work ridiculous hours; while the other may have more time but no money or accomodation?

 

I have a friend who has equal ownership with their ex. The dog alternates living a week with each of them.

 

i can understand why some people might need to but i wouldn't abandon my children and my dogs are my babies, i think i'd always find a way to keep them whatever happened

its when someone at the park had to give their new rescue back to battersea because their relationship broke down 3 WEEKS AFTER GETTING THE DOG now surely they must have known that something wasn't right in the relatsionship before those 3 weeks

 

I can't really understand it tbh. I would live on the streets before i would part with my boys. Maybe selfish but i could never bare to part with them.

 

i can understand why some people might need to but i wouldn't abandon my children and my dogs are my babies, i think i'd always find a way to keep them whatever happened

its when someone at the park had to give their new rescue back to battersea because their relationship broke down 3 WEEKS AFTER GETTING THE DOG now surely they must have known that something wasn't right in the relatsionship before those 3 weeks

hindsight is a wonderful thing. I had to rehome two of my cats when they were 6 months as me and my X split. He had a secret life. Before we got the cats i sat him down and had the chat about cats are a commitment for life etc. Which he said he understood. Aftwards looking back I could see the signs it wasnt a good relationship but while i was in it I couldn't. I regret giving up those kitties every day and really hope they found a loving forever home. But I had no choice. I had no where to keep them.

 

There are a million reasons for it- think it is unfair to judge until you have been in that situation.

Money- maybe one person can not afford the rent PLUS a dog walker/doggy day care every day, plus food, all medical bills etc
Housing- most rented and even some bought properties do not allow dogs
Time- is it fair to leave a dog home alone for 10 hours a day just so it is not rehomed because your situation has changed?
Issues- maybe one partner did not really want the dog, or can not cope with any issues the dog has
Getting out of a bad situation ASAP- sometimes in the upset etc I imagine it is easy to believe rehoming is in the dogs best interests

 

I always wonder why this things happen... both owners should want to take the dog...

They did both want to when friends of mine split up. It was his house, her kids, he was disabled, she left, took her kids and the two large dogs. She couldn't keep both dogs so she rehomed one. He was very upset but he couldn't do anything about it because he couldn't guarantee he'd be able to look after the dog.

 

no way would i give up my pouch lucky my mam loves him if i had to move back with her

 

no way would i give up my pouch lucky my mam loves him if i had to move back with her

Yes you are very lucky but tons of people are not. Marriage breakdown is extremely stressful and involves major losses. Practical reasons like housing , money, someone to be at home for the dog can also coupled with emotional or mental health problems. Some people have no support, nobody to help them.
Every situation is different so how can anyone say they would never do it! Maybe one day life will be so unkind to you that there will be no choice. Nobody knows how they will cope until it happens.
So those of you preaching from up there on your pedestal , bear a thought for people who have no other choice.