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How long does it take for a dog to stop pining after someone ?

4.4K views 10 replies 8 participants last post by  alison11  
#1 ·
Ever since Steve moved out (just over a week ago) Toffee has gone very clingy , wont let me out of his sight and even though he is eating , he seems very listless about it , its hard to explain , he does eat but without the enthusiasm he used to have for his dinner , its almost like all the joy has left his world and he is simply going through the motions :(

Now I know this is all because he is missing Steve , his god , and Steve does visit when he can cos he is missing the dogs loads , but because of the distance this might be only once a week

So how long do you reckon it will be before I get my normal happy go lucky lad back ?

I feel so sorry for my boy , this is obviously hurting him a lot :crying:
 
#3 ·
No , Toff is my dog but he adores/worships Steve

Ive told Steve he could take him at the weekends if he isnt working or out but he said he isnt allowed pets where he is ... tbh I doubt any landlord would mind the occasional night once in a while , but Steve doesnt want to risk it or rock the boat as he just took on this lease :(
 
#4 ·
Was Steve a big part of Toff's daily routine?

The reason I ask is my Dad plays a huge part of Dougie's daily life, walking him, feeds him when I am at work and reliably always there. Dad was not well at the beginning of this year for many months, then had an op so was recuperating for another month. So not around as much for probably over 6 months - Dougie still sat in the hall every day waiting for Dad, every car he heard was excited thinking it was Dad so I know it had a big impact on him. He didn't actually mope but was a bit different - bit like a child missing someone and not understanding what was going on.

Now my son lives at home (currently buying a house) now Dougie adores him, super excited when he gets in from work or wherever. But he is not exactly reliable with things like walking, would probably forget to feed him until Dougie made a fuss! So when he has gone on holiday he doesn't pine at all and I don't think he will when he moves out - he will be pleased/excited when he visits but won't have as much of an effect as not seeing my Dad
 
#5 ·
Its me who walks and feeds Toff , but in the evening Toff would settle downstairs with Steve when he went to sleep ready for his second job
(Steves a workaholic , he goes to his first job at 1am , leaves that at 9am and goes straight to his second job which finishes at 5:30pm , he gets home about 6pm , goes to sleep around 7 - 8pm and then it starts all over again , he does this 6 days a week :eek:)

So really the only disruption for Toff is not sleeping with Steve in the evenings ... but as I said Toff does worship Steve , he really lit up when Steve used to come in the door from work
 
#7 ·
That's a difficult one. Obviously Steve can't have Toffee, given his circumstances, and ideally a clean break would probably be best. Even seeing Steve once a week is going to unsettle Toffee continually.

Easier said than done though for both of them.
Easier said than done im afraid hun
Steve may be my ex-bf but more importantly he is my best friend and also now my landlord , so a clean break isnt possible or even wanted by either of us

The dogs may legally be mine but he adores these dogs as much as they love him , so for me to say he couldnt see them would be just cruel towards someone who always has (and still is) helping me even though he doesnt have to
This man moved out of his own house so I could rent it and keep all three dogs , he knows about my sociophobia and depression and rings every day to check im ok and to ask about the dogs and he is also paying all vets bills and food for the dogs ... he's a bloody saint in my eyes , lol
(I know this sounds like im still in love with the guy but im not , I do still love him to bits as a friend though :))
 
#8 ·
I guess it's individual, but my previous dog didn't pine very long for my ex partner, even though he loved him (sometimes I think even more than he loved me). But in our case it was me and the dog that moved out and I think that made it easier. However, I only borrowed a flat for a few weeks, so I left most of my stuff in my ex's flat and came back there there almost daily to pack up for the move to the more permanent flat and in the first few times we went back he didn't want to leave, but after a few times there was no problem.

My ex partner had him on the weekends sometimes and sometimes during the week when I worked long hours or nights. When I dropped him off he was very happy to see my ex, but when I left he wanted to come with me and he never looked back when I picked him up.

Lyle, my dog, didn't pine very long, but he'd sometimes howl after my ex when we met and walked in different directions afterwards (he never howled when my ex walked away with him, though).
 
#10 ·
My situation was similar to Vicky's where I moved out and took Bubba with me. It didn't take her long to adjust - think thats because the situation at the end was so bad she was just glad to get a bit of peace & quiet!
I didn't keep in contact with ex-bf (on account of him being an evil b****** :devil:), I bumped into him while out walking with Bubba (still live in the same area) and she was beside herself with excitement! She was very confused when I went to go home as to why we weren't all going together and was back & forwards between the two of us but came with me in the end (bribed with treats).
We still bump into the ex sometimes and while she's happy to see him (wags her tail etc) she's no longer overly excited, just greets him and happy to move on. She's adjusted brilliantly and we're very happy two girls together in our own wee house.
 
#11 ·
Mese, its not entirely the same but my OH is away in the falklands for 4 months and I have to say it has taken duke about 6 weeks to realise that its just the two of us just now. But it is probably easier for us because he hasn't seen OH at all since he left whereas in your situation if he is still seeing toffee then it might take a bit longer for him to understand the new situation.