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Wracked with guilt after losing my dog

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by Mel (Spikes mum), Dec 5, 2018.


  1. Mel (Spikes mum)

    Mel (Spikes mum) PetForums Newbie

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    I've just joined and i'm hoping that someone can help me. I had my beloved 18 year old dog put to sleep just 4 days ago. I'm 6 months pregnant. Me and my ex boyfriend adopted him from the local dogs home back in 2002 and when we split up 4 years later I moved out with my dog. For several years after that it was just me and him, I took him almost everywhere with me, when I sat down he was on my lap within seconds and when I went on a night out he stayed at my parents for the night. My life revolved around him. A few years back I met someone and my first child came along and suddenly I had this newborn baby and my lovely dog was sort of pushed out and was no longer my priority, my son is 3 and a half years old now and in all this time my dog got older and has developed lots of symptoms of getting old.
    Sadly he got so frail and weak that I had to make the heartbreaking decision to do the best thing for him.
    Over the last year or so he has followed me around and been under my feel alot and i'm so busy most of the time that I would just tell him off and send him to his bed.
    So now not only am I absolutely devastated because i've lost my amazing dog but I feel so so guilty because 1, when my baby was born he was unintentionally pushed out and 2, I was too busy to give him cuddles and attention when he was looking for it and was probably not feeling well. Every time I think about it I burst into tears and when I start I cant stop as I feel so cruel.
     
  2. Tiggers

    Tiggers PetForums Member

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    This is a sad story indeed. I feel your guilt and grief, but I also feel the pain of your dog too. It is vitally important when thinking of starting a family to also consider the ongoing needs of any pets, remembering that they were with you long before your child/children. I hope that you can begin a healing process and that lessons can be learned from the way you are feeling now.
     
    Kittynanna likes this.
  3. tabelmabel

    tabelmabel PetForums VIP

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    I hope you are able to cut yourself a bit of slack. This happened to me, as I'm sure it does to lots of people - kids come along and priorities change. Every busy mum of babies and toddlers will be able to relate to that.

    I think, rather than focussing on the end of your dog's life, remember all the wonderful times you shared before your children were born.

    If you have time, put an album of photos together of good times.
    It's the role of mums to feel constantly guilty and pressured - you put your baby first and that was absolutely correct. First babies especially cause a massive mental adjustment of your whole self and it's only to be expected that you didn't prioritise your elderly dog over your new baby.


    What NOT to do is to rush out and get a new dog. Spend time now with your family. I really don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. Take care
     
    Bugsys grandma and Calvine like this.
  4. Mel (Spikes mum)

    Mel (Spikes mum) PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you both, he knew how loved he was and of course still is. I'm beginning to feel a little less guilty as I have his ashes as home now and you may laugh but I give him kisses daily, several times and I tell him I love him. I feel much better now, I just know i'm going to miss him forever.

    I certainly won't be getting another pet, I particularly love dogs. I do know that in a few years time I will probably have a couple of children asking for a pet so i'll put it off for as long as I can x
     
    Calvine likes this.
  5. MilleD

    MilleD PetForums VIP

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    It might just be pertinent here to point out that children asking for pets is a really bad reason for getting them. But I'm sure you'll realise that down the line :)

    I'm sorry for your loss.
     
    Calvine and Tiggers like this.
  6. Tiggers

    Tiggers PetForums Member

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    Please do not purchase any pets on the whims of children! This happens countless times, often ending in animals needlessly ending up in rescues, or worse.
     
  7. sighthounds

    sighthounds PetForums Junior

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    You are being very hard on yourself, I hope that you can cut yourself some slack. Best wishes x
     
    Mel (Spikes mum) and tabelmabel like this.
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