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Worried I'm regretting things

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Caninetrovert, Apr 20, 2019.


  1. Caninetrovert

    Caninetrovert PetForums Newbie

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    Hi all,

    Ok. So, my partner and I have just brought our first ever dog home. He's a rescue Springer spaniel, 12 mths old and neutered. He is a very happy and loving boy.

    He's the dog I've always wanted. I grew up with Spaniels and dogs. So when this little man came available and I heard about him through a friend, I had to have him.

    Well. He's been with me all of 24 hours and I'm ready to through in the towel. We had a very unsettled night (3 hours sleep), I've got a black eye and covered in bruises from being jumped on and now feel like I am not cut out to be a dog owner.

    I don't want to have to return him, and obviously we have got to give him more time to settle and get to know us and us him. We have a behaviourist appointment set up and his first training session shortly. But I can't help feeling that I have made the wrong decision getting him.

    Obviously I've been very excited to have him and have told all my friends and family about him and don't want to look like a prat and I don't want to fail my new dog.

    Any advice? Or just a bit of support would be lovely. We have a crate to try tonight and also Adaptil and Vetpro stress and anxiety tablets... fingers crossed. Any advice greatly received.
     
  2. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    Hello and welcome I don't think there is a dog owner out there who slept well the first night. Where do you want him to sleep and where is he used to sleeping ? He is probably just unsettled give it a few days. What is his history? Was he in a home before ?

    Try and get into routine a nice quiet walk if he is confident maybe some games in the garden. At 12 months he is still young will you be going to training classes ?

    When I first got my female boxer ( she sadly passed away) she was 6 months old her and my boy were so excited they spent the whole night playing wouldn't settle and walked all over me in bed jumping around. They soon settled but I was so tired !
     
  3. Caninetrovert

    Caninetrovert PetForums Newbie

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    Hi, thank you for getting in touch. His history was that he was kept in a crate for the first 6 months of his time in his first home, then got so stressed he chewed his tail off.. so he was in a rescue foster until we collected him.

    We had decided on him sleeping in the living room and not to get a crate as the rescue said it may stress him out further.

    We have a training class on Tuesday and we are super keen to learn, grow and bond with him.

    Glad to hear I'm not the only one who didn't sleep on the first night!

    Thank you for your support :)
     
  4. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    Ah well that makes sense I would sleep with him for the first couple of weeks either have his bed in your room or you sleep downstairs.

    I personally wouldn't try the crate if you want to use one you will need to carefully crate train him.

    Have you got a kong I find a stuffed frozen kong really chills my mad boxer pup before bed.

    Spaniels are very intelligent it's good to get into a routine of doing some daily brain stuff. Get into a rountine of a couple of nice walks a day. Use a long line at first incase he disappears.
     
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  5. Caninetrovert

    Caninetrovert PetForums Newbie

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    Hi! We are having conflicting opinions about the crate. On one hand, it's all he's ever known, but on the other he gets so stressed by it. He does have a Kong which we tried with last night - I will try freezing it tonight to see if that keeps him occupied.

    We have started with clicker training, which he loves. And trying to get a routine of quick morning walk done by my partner who works nighfs, long afternoon when home from work with me as I work days and then a quick ball throw game in the garden and scatter feed while humans have dinner. Do you think this is good idea?

    Thanks :)
     
  6. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    Definitely freeze it takes them longer. You can get puzzle games as well. That sounds good for walks. Is he home alone on the day if so I'd do a slightly longer morning walk.

    Do you have a bit of time off to settle him in ? Also to cope with lack of sleep.


    If the crate stresses him I would leave it you want it to be a safe space you probably could re train but I can't advise as my boys don't use one. Training classes would be good to sign up to just as a support.
     
  7. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    Absolutely this! If he's literally been forced to stay in the crate it's not a safe space.

    Those with dogs who are happy in a crate willingly run in, go and settle in them when they want space.

    In this scenario I am thinking it will just create anxiety; which you don't want at all.

    I know this dog has been in a foster home. However I just want to reassure you most people can bring home a dog from rescue and the dog seems absolutely manic as they don't always get the full attention they need, or exercise.

    I want to praise you for already organising help to get you all off on the right footing. Most of us could share injuries from out dogs in excitement play, my old Staffy had me on my back many a times on walk. You have a behaviourist and training lined up and from the sounds of it you are doing everything right. The what have I done feeling is normal!
     
  8. McKenzie

    McKenzie PetForums VIP

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    You’ve had some great advice. Also bear in mind that at 12 months old he will likely be right in the ‘teenage’ stage, which can be challenging even for owners who have had their dog from a wee pup. Be patient and consistent and you’re halfway there :)
     
  9. Caninetrovert

    Caninetrovert PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you all for your advice. The dog and I have had a cuddle and maybe a little cry... on my part Haha! Thank you all for the advice and support. I feel so much better and definitely know where to turn should I need more help!

    My grandad always says "it'll all be ok in the end; and if it's not ok, it's not the end"

    :)
     
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  10. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    Grandad has very wise words.

    Honestly it's no different to getting a puppy, getting a dog. It's called puppy blues.

    If you read the Exciting News thread here and see a lovely post about getting a new addition, a most wanted new addition that the member has done her research over she categorically states she's got the feeling 'What have I done' she may feel this when he finally joins her family too. However I am sure she will forget these feelings and settle down happily with her new addition. To @SusieRainbow I hope you realise I mean no malice mentioning your thread!
     
  11. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    Not at all !:)
     
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  12. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    I’d have him sleep in my room until he gets used to his new life and surroundings.

    I wouldn’t even try the crate given his experience of them :(

    Once he’s settled, you can gradually move his bed to where you want him to sleep. He will become more confident and independent as he settles and might even choose downstairs as his favoured spot anyway.

    Get him used to being left gradually to avoid issues with anxiety and make a room safe and secure so there is no need for a crate.

    Make sure the behaviourist only uses positive, reward based methods.
     
  13. Sarah H

    Sarah H Grand Empress of the Universe

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    24 hours really is nothing. I'm not surprised you're stressed and worried, I'm sure the dog is too! Just take things slowly, don't overwhelm him with activities or outings. If you can just let him be for a bit in the garden and just watch him (scatter some food in the garden to get him sniffing if you need), try to learn his quirks and watch his body language. You need to get to know each other and this takes weeks and months!
    It's totally normal to feel like you do when you have a new dog or puppy, just take every day one at a time.
     
  14. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    Excellent point. If he's already had a bad start; which sounds like he has then it really is best that using these methods will be essential to gain trust. Hopefully being a Springer, the treat is all in the smell. Or a good behaviourist should be able to show you how letting your dog have a good sniff is a good reward but don't worry about that now.

    Currently food/treats, might not be that enticing because new environment often makes dogs not feel like eating. Even though they can be acting completely normal, or rather bouncing around like a mad thing.
     
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  15. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    I still remember the anxiety and panic I felt when we first got Tango. OH had gone to work and I was on my own with her - wherever I turned she was right there ! Never having had my own dog before it was a shock, and she was so needy ! However I soon got used to having a little hairy shadow and miss her more than I can say.
    Then when we got Reena, 18 months later, similar feelings emerged. Would I have enough love to share between 2 dogs, would I cope ? But I found there was always plenty of love to go around ,the more you have to love the more love you generate.
    So I know that the concerns I have about getting Bobby will be solvable , I'm expecting some changes in the family dynamics but know in my heart it will all work out sooner or later.
     
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  16. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    Lovely post, and it's not as if you didn't wait a long time to fulfill your dream of being a dog owner either.

    I think anxiety is and should be a normal behaviour to have with life changes, and getting a pet is one of those changes.
     
  17. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    It re-awakened a lot of the emotions I felt after my children were born. The feeling of responsibility for such a dependent creature can be overwhelming.I think every now and then you have to stop and remind yourself to enjoy the experience. Tango very quickly learned to make me laugh by playing the fool ,which she did often.
    Reena gave me the best doggy cuddles I could dream of.
     
  18. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    Very wise words, a motto to remember.
     
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  19. Chatcat

    Chatcat PetForums Senior

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    How's it going today?
     
  20. Caninetrovert

    Caninetrovert PetForums Newbie

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    Hi all, sorry for the radio silence. Unfortunately things didn't work out for myself and the dog. I'm devastated. He had a lot of issues that neither myself nor my partner knew about upon adoption and felt that we weren't the owners the poor thing needed so have had to return him. Words cannot describe the heartbreak I have been through taking him back. I hope one day he will find a home who will work him as he deserves and give him the best life possible. I feel as though I have hit rock bottom taking him back. Although I have been told it was for the best by numerous sources... I cant help but feel as though I have failed and the same thing will happen again should we choose to give another dog a home.

    Apologies to you all and thank you all so much for the support.
     
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