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When will I know, struggling

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Haley, Jun 7, 2010.


  1. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    Hi all,

    As some of you may be aware but for those who aren't. My 12 and a half year Dobe has a lung tumour and nothing can be done, she is on steroids to make her more comfortable.

    I thought that she seemed quite good tonight but the coughing has now got worse and at times she has like a spooked look in her eyes, I am wondering if she is in pain.

    I know it may seem unfair for me to ask opinions on this but she is still eating and having her walks (shortened) and at odd times wants to play with her ball but her breathing is quite bad and I am frightened as I don't want her in pain but I feel that I am not sure if it's time.

    x
     
  2. turkeylad

    turkeylad PetForums VIP

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    May I Go

    Do you think the time is right?
    May I say goodbye to pain filled days and endless lonely nights?
    I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.
    So can I take that step beyond, and set my spirit free?
    I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
    But something seems to draw me now to a warm and living light.
    I want to go, I really do; it's difficult to stay.
    But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.
    To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears.
    I know you're sad and afraid, because I see your tears.
    I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know,
    That my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.
    Thank you so for loving me. You know I love you too,
    And that's why it's hard to say goodbye and end this life with you.
    So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,
    Because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.
     
  3. Bexy

    Bexy PetForums Senior

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    It is one of the hardest decisions to make and I really feel for you being in this position.

    With Nemo, she had good days and bad days but when the bad days lasted for days we knew deep down that she no longer had any quality of life.

    It depends on dog to dog and Nemo was no longer going walks nor eating normally - she could only eat chicken at the end.

    It sounds a cliche but I think you will know yourself when it is time.

    **hugs**
     
  4. turkeylad

    turkeylad PetForums VIP

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    IF IT SHOULD BE

    If it should be that I grow weak
    And pain should keep me from my sleep,
    Then you must do what must be done,
    For this last battle cannot be won.

    You will be sad, I understand.
    Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
    For this day, more than all the rest,
    Your love for me must stand the test.

    We've had so many happy years.
    What is to come can hold no fears.
    You'd not want me to suffer so;
    The time has come -- please let me go.

    Take me where my need they'll tend,
    And please stay with me till the end.
    Hold me firm and speak to me,
    Until my eyes no longer see.

    I know in time that you will see
    The kindness that you did for me.
    Although my tail its last has waved,
    From pain and suffering I've been saved.

    Please do not grieve -- it must be you
    Who had this painful thing to do.
    We've been so close, we two, these years;
    Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

    --- Anonymous ---
     
  5. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    Thanks for your response, tears, tears, tears.

    It's distressing seeing her breathing like that but she is still interested in most things but she aint her self (obviously). Think it's time I took her to the vet to get his opinion, I have to do the right thing by her and not me. Gosh I am so scared x
     
  6. Jackie99

    Jackie99 PetForums VIP

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    What is that saying- Better a week to early, than a day to late??
     
    thedogsmother likes this.
  7. momentofmadness

    momentofmadness PetForums VIP

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    I am pretty sure you will know when the time comes..

    like you say she still eats plays and goes for walks..

    Has she lost a lot of weight? Quite often if a dog is distressed the weight will fall off...

    Im sure you will know when.. Great big HUGS to you guys. xxx
     
  8. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    I think so hun, I am glad I did this thread as it has helped, feel a sleepless night coming on x
     
  9. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Big hugs to you :( you will know when her time has come.
    This is the hardest decision we will ever have to make for our pets xx
     
  10. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    Yes she has lost weight, even though she is eating more than ever. I saw a friend that I haven't seen for 6 weeks and she said it was the first thing she noticed (the weight loss) x
     
  11. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    Thanks for your continued support sequeena x
     
  12. turkeylad

    turkeylad PetForums VIP

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    You will know when the time is right!! Take Care Thinking of you both and sending you positive vibes from 2,000 miles away
     
  13. RockRomantic

    RockRomantic Gobsh!te

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    aww hun i think you'll just know when it's time, sendin you all my love pass on some belly rubs for me x
     
  14. Aurelia

    Aurelia PetForums VIP

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    I think you know it's time already. I think this thread was a way for you to admit it to yourself.

    I have known people who have their beloved pets PTS the moment they are diagnosed as having some awful terminal disease. They say it's kinder to let them go before they start suffering. I agree with them, but when it came down to our turn it was a lot harder. We held out hope for a while, but when it became clear it was time, we did what we needed to do for our gorgeous girl.

    SHe had one last walk, one last feast. Then we took her to the vets together and stayed with her while she slipped away. I have never felt so much pain in my life, she was my baby. That pain was for my loss though ... the joy I felt for having the choice to make it easier for her and end her suffering was probably the only thing that kept me going from that point on. I know I gave my girl peace when she needed it.

    Oh god :( I miss her >crying buckets now<.

    It is scary, it is painful for you. But make peace with yourself knowing that you're about to give your lovely girl the best gift you can possibly give.

    (((HUGS in abundance)))
     
  15. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    Thank you so much, it's really appreciated x
     
  16. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    thanks hun, she waved to ya x
     
  17. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    You are probably right, I hadn't thought of that, psychological eh.

    Ah god, sending big hugs.

    Me and my OH are just sat here like really quiet and loving her.

    Thanks for sharing your stories x
     
  18. pickle

    pickle PetForums Senior

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    Your head will know it is right, but your heart will want to keep holding on. I hate, hate , hate so much this part of owning a pet.
    I do feel for you so very much but we all know here that you have done your very utmost for your baby. Every time I let myself read these posts (and I try not to) the tears flow.:cryin:
    Lots of hugs for you x
     
  19. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    Hi thank you all for your comments. I can't sleep, so gave in and came downstairs, Tanya has that spooked look in her eyes again. Me and OH decided last night that we are going to spend the next 2 days with her and take her to the vets on Friday or ask if they can do a home visit.

    I feel so confused as she seems ok at times but I know she is suffering as her breathing is very harsh.

    It's like I feel that the vet will say 'ah she is fine for now' but I know he wont really x
     
  20. leashedForLife

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    a home visit is good, if the vet can do that. my vet + i had arranged to euth my Akita-girl at home, but when the time came,
    it was after-hours and she was in crisis; we had to go to the vet-ER and then had to WAIT as a dog was in anaphylactic-shock
    and only one vet + vet-nurse, both with that animal.

    my girl was not in pain, but was going into shock in front of me; thank God, we made it into the exam-room before
    she was critical, in fact she walked slowly into the exam room on her own - the vet even asked are U sure?,
    since she had seen her before.

    being there for her is important - my dog argued for the very FIRST time with the vet about a forearm-catheter,
    but luckily i had a cue that kept her calm - i held my index finger up + said, wait... and my dear good dog died,
    very peacefully, still looking expectantly at my face + finger for a sign we were getting the H*** out of there.
    her pupils relaxed and went wide-open, and her head suddenly weighed a ton on my hand...
    and then her big heart stopped.

    i still miss her - but after 2-years of careful nursing and working 7-days a week to keep up with her vet-bills,
    both my dog + i were tired of vets + invasive procedures. her last few months my vet fretted, but she was STABLE -
    i was not going to do anything to rock the boat, and she was happy; woke cheerful, ate well, enjoyed walks.
    she lived as long as it was possible to keep her happy + comfortable + active, and her final crisis was short -
    i don;t regret a thing.

    what will U do with her body, hun? i had my girl cremated, and she will be scattered with me -
    i had made those arrangements ahead. we will be going to several favorite places together.

    i will be thinking of U; tell her what a wonderful time it has been with her.
    my deep sympathy,
    --- terry
     
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