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when to say goodbye

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by s4simo, Mar 27, 2011.


  1. s4simo

    s4simo PetForums Member

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    Hi,
    We have an 8 year old Weimaraner that was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in August last year. She underwent radiotherapy, surgery and chemotherapy in an attempt to stop this very aggressive tumor.
    Unfortunately this has proved unsuccessful. She now weighs 12kg (down from 30kg) and there appears to be nothing we can do to prevent her decline. She can still feed and toilet herself,wags her tail whenever you look at her and has a half-hearted attempt at eating any post that comes through the door. But to me she seems 'sad'. Due to the nature of her illness my little girl will never get better and we are having to face the impossible question of when we should 'put her to sleep'. I appreciate everyone is different but I would welcome your advise as I am not in an emotional position to think clearly. I don't want to wait until I know she is suffering but I don't want to ever feel I have acted too quickly. She is my best friend and I cant work out what I should do. xx
     
  2. shoreset

    shoreset PetForums Senior

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    I'm off the opinion that it's better a day too early than a day too late. But she is your dog and only you will know when the time is right, do you think maybe she seems "sad" because you are and she's picking it up from you?

    I am sorry to hear about your girl ((hugs))
     
  3. SixStar

    SixStar Banned

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    I agree with shoreset, a day too early is better than a day too late.

    It's the hardest decision in the world to make, but they generally help you- they let you know when it's time. With my old boy Benson (cancer too) one morning I went down to him and he wasn't the dog I knew, the spark in his eyes had gone and the look he gave me told me loud and clear that he'd had enough and wanted to go.

    My boy was nearly 14, so an exceptional age for a Bernese, but at 8, your girl isn't what I'd call old, which surely makes the decision so much harder. I really feel for you. But remember it's quality of life, not quantity. 18kg is a massive weight loss too, that's very extreme :(

    She's your girl and only you can make the decision, but I think I know what I'd do. I always try to let them go with dignity.

    Thinking of you x
     
  4. Sampuppy

    Sampuppy PetForums VIP

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    Didn't want to read and run but really don't know what to say except to agree with previous poster about better a day too early than late. I'm sure there'll be plenty of people able to share their experiences and help you decide. Really sorry to hear of your dilemma.:sad:
     
  5. Having been through this a number of times,all I can say is your dog will let you know when he/she has had enough.

    Sounds to me like you have a little more time to spoil rotten,give much love and prepare to say good bye with dignity.

    Focus on the good and ensure a happy, peaceful, comfortable end.

    (((((hugs))))))
     
  6. Happy Paws2

    Happy Paws2 PetForums VIP

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    This is so hard, I think you've to think, does she have a good quality, and am I holding on to her of my sake, because I just can't say good-bye to her.

    It's hard but what ever you decide you love her and she loves you and you'll make the right choice for her. If she was mine I think I'd say Good-bye before she starts to really suffer.

    Sending you a both a big hug and will be thinking of you.
     
  7. sarybeagle

    sarybeagle PetForums VIP

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    For me its when the dog is in pain, has very little quality of life and its only due to my own guilt I cant let them go.

    I would rather my dog went whilst still mobile and "happy" before she suffered at all. xxxx What a heart breaking decision you face xxx
     
  8. s4simo

    s4simo PetForums Member

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    You are right, at only 8 we feel that she and us have been 'cheated' of years we should have had together especially after putting her through radiotherapy, surgery and chemotherapy. I know I can't keep her at any cost, but the thought of losing her is unbearable especially if it is us that makes the decision to send her on her way to pastures new
     
  9. katie200

    katie200 PetForums VIP

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    Awww I'm sorry (((hugs))) when our dog was I'll we didn't know when to let her go and we waited and I so wished we hadn't in a way it hard to let go
     
  10. Angie2011

    Angie2011 PetForums VIP

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    So sorry Hun! that you have to make such a heart tugging decision, :( its only you that can see the quality of life your baby has, i think you will know when the time is right! try to take some comfort that you are not alone and a lot of people hear will try and support you in what ever decision you make. HUNGS!
     
  11. s4simo

    s4simo PetForums Member

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    I am so pleased to have found somewhere I can discuss things. Whilst the majority of people have been supportive I have had the 'it's only a dog' and 'well you can get another' comment too many times and each time its hurts even more. Bracken is a full member of our family who deserves the same respect and dignity i would want someone to give me x
     
  12. metaldog

    metaldog PetForums VIP

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    Dogs hide their pain and suffering very well so it may be that you cannot see what is really going on beneath the surface. I have been through this and it was only after Grufty was PTS and he was lying relaxed on the vet table I realised how tense he had been for so long and I knew I'd made the right decision to end his pain.

    She is not just a dog, she is your best friend. But someone who is not an animal lover, who does not understand that bond we share with our beloved pets doesn't realise how insensitive it is to say such awful things, so try not to punch anyone xx
     
  13. Lulus mum

    Lulus mum PetForums VIP

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    Hi
    Really feel for you-its a terrible position you are in.
    We are in a similar one , except that our dog is 14.He has dementia -still eating okay and enjoys his walks,still wags his tail when he sees us.
    But ,due to his condition ,he often looks lost and puzzled,paces a lot-(a little less now due to his medication,)etc,etc
    Everyone says-better a day too early than a day too late, and that you will know when its time but its so difficult-more especially for you as your dog is much younger than ours.
    (We only lost our other dog ,Lulu,8 weeks ago-that was sudden and heartbreaking-but we didnt have the agonising over what to do)
    Our vet doesnt think that Buster is in any pain
    -I would be guided by your vet-but at the end of the day,its your decision.
    The weight loss must be very worrying for you,too.
    If you would like to P.M me I would like to offer you support,as I can see from your post that this is really weighing heavily on you,sometimes sharing with someone not directly involved helps-I found that after Lulu died-the support on her was so comforting when I most needed it
    Thinking of you
    from Maureen
     
  14. codyann

    codyann PetForums Senior

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    have you thaught about asking your vet for some advise? i do really feel for you i went through this with my german shepard last year its so horrible, but your gitl is still younge and if she can walk and go toilet and eat ok and seems happy then maybe you want to make the most of the time you have with her and prepare to say goodbye.
     
  15. Angie2011

    Angie2011 PetForums VIP

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    Piffle to the people who say its only a dog! :mad: They wouldnt understand compassion if it came up and bit them on the Ass! people like this either don't own a dog! or have no write to! IMO!. Our 4 legged babies are MUCH!! more than just a dog, they are our: best friends/companion/counselors/therapy dog/stress relievers/happy times/sad times. OUR BUDDIES!! the list goes on. Don't let anyone tell YOU! how YOU! should be feeling over you baby. :) x
     
  16. Mum2Heidi

    Mum2Heidi PetForums VIP

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    I am so sorry for you and your lovely girl.

    All I can advise is "you will know" when the time is right and most probably, she will tell you:(
     
  17. Malmum

    Malmum PetForums VIP

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    My heart goes out to you, such a difficult time you are all going through :(

    I have always said that when the time comes my kids must tell me if they think i'm holding on too long - which they did with my last two beautiful dogs. The trouble is dogs don't always show pain in the way we'd think they would, they can be very brave, so you can't always tell.

    Considering her weight loss you must know in your heart of hearts what's the best thing for her, it will never be the best thing for you. Perhaps when you do decide the vet could come to you, to make everything as normal as possible for your dear girl.

    I agree with better a day too early than a day too late and if it were one of mine i'd have to consider letting her go soon. I'm so sorry and just posting these words are making me cry too. :(
     
  18. katie200

    katie200 PetForums VIP

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    yeah people do give the its only an animal speach i had that too but pets are famly to me so i wouldnt listen to them. im sure you will know when to let go i really feel for you as i know how it feels.
     
  19. Mum2Heidi

    Mum2Heidi PetForums VIP

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    Those people dont know what they have missed. To have the unconditional love of an animal is priceless and you have been blessed to share 8 wonderful years with your girl. Nothing anyone can say or do will make her less special to you, nor will her passing make you love her any less.

    Try not to torment yourself too much, make the best of all the time you have left with her. She will tell you when she's ready and then you will have to do that one last act of love that breaks your heart but lets her run free.

    My heart goes out to you. We will be here everyday to chat and listen as much as you want.
    Sandie x
     
  20. Freyja

    Freyja PetForums VIP

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    I am in a similar situation to you I have an 8 year old whippet who has a possible tumour. Best case scenario is he has a trapped nerve in his spine worst is he has a brain tumour. He is being treated with steriods and at the moment is doing ok.

    I was talking to vet nurse the other week and said I wasn't too sure what was best for him some mornings he seems quite bad others he seems ok. She said he would let us know when it was time OH doesn't see the point off paying out for tablets to keep him well and says I should let him go but he is fine in every other way he even still goes and checks the girls to see if they are in season every day. I say while he is ok I will fight for him she also said don't worry about him not being good in the mornings as the steriod will have worn off over night.

    I do believe though that a day to soon is better than a day too late. My situation is different from yours as I do have Owen's son, daughters and grandchildren at home.
     
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