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When to get another pet after ones death?

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by a name, Feb 11, 2012.


  1. a name

    a name PetForums Newbie

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    How do you know when? After having to put my cat down a few months ago I can't imagine feeling anything for another and that I'd probably neglect/hate it or something.
     
  2. Crushmer

    Crushmer PetForums Member

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    :confused: If you feel hat way you obviously shouldn't be getting another :nono:
    Sorry, but doesn't make sense to my why you would neglect or hate another pet........
     
  3. anotheruser

    anotheruser PetForums Senior

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    Got to pet shops. Go to places where you can adopt cats (RSPCA?) and get involved back with cats.

    You will know when you are ready for another cat.
     
  4. ChinaBlue

    ChinaBlue PetForums VIP

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    Yes, would advise perhaps to go and volunteer at a rescue - even if only a couple of hours one morning a month or something. Least it will help you come to terms with your loss and perhaps you will find your next cat there. You usually find they come to you when you least expect it. It would not be wise to take on another one though if you feel you may resent it - cats are such sensitive souls they would pick up on your feelings.
     
  5. Ingrid25

    Ingrid25 PetForums VIP

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    thats what i was thinking!?
     
  6. Paddypaws

    Paddypaws PetForums VIP

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    I think we can all understand the depth of heart break you have experienced after losing your cat.
    I had my 'oldies' from kittens and they have been with me for 17 years ( ,ost 2 of them last year, 2 are still with me ) After that length of time I too often worried that I would never be able to care for another cat in the same way, that I would maybe resent it for not being Nellie or Paddy.
    Our own cats become people to us somehow and it can seem that we will never have that same connection with another animal.

    It actually makes perfect sense to me, I have had those same concerns and yet I think anyone that reads my posts on here can see that I love all my cats dearly.

    OP...I would advise looking at rescue sites, or breeders pages, or even going to visit various litters of kittens. Believe me....you will feel that spark of something special when you see the right cat...or cats!
     
  7. Treaclesmum

    Treaclesmum PetForums VIP

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    This is a perfectly understandable reaction - you could be afraid that if you love the cat too much, you will only suffer more heartbreak when it one day dies. I felt a bit like that when I lost Tabby. It just means you're not ready yet, and one day a cat will come along and may be quite different from the one you lost, and that will be a good thing because you will be able to bond differently and love again :)
     
  8. x PIXIE x

    x PIXIE x PetForums VIP

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    i think its normal to think that at first but a new cat will still need you and have different qualities you'll soon be in love :)
     
  9. Crushmer

    Crushmer PetForums Member

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    I probably just don't understand it because I've never felt like that after losing a cat. But I understand everyone is different...
     
  10. Paddypaws

    Paddypaws PetForums VIP

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    Crushmer, could it be that maybe you have had the benefit of dealing with more cats and being able to learn that it is possible to feel that special connection with more than one animal?
    As I said above....I had my oldie cat family for around 17 years, and while I admire and feel kindness to ALL cats, I found it hard to believe that there were any others out there in the world quite as special as my little family.
     
  11. ewelsh

    ewelsh PetForums VIP

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    I am hoping that you don't really mean the words that you may "hate or neglect another cat" I hope you mean your "afraid" to love another cat... because your still heart broken after loosing your old cat...

    As many have said, time heals and good memories return which out weigh the cruel truth of loosing a pet.

    Give your self time still, try and go to help other cats and you may feel differently towards cats them.

    Also remember all cats as humans, are different...............

    I lost my westie over 10 years ago and I dream about having another yet I still can not bring myself to look at old photos of her or to touch another westie let alone look at one.. yet I have since had other breeds which I am totally devoted to...

    You may never come to terms with having a cat again, only you willl know this, but remember the love you had for your old cat... it should help you smile again. x

    Take care.
     
  12. Treaclesmum

    Treaclesmum PetForums VIP

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    At first I was worried I wouldn't bond with Treacle as he's the same colour as Tabby my little angel from my childhood. I felt afraid I'd lose him too - irrational I know!!! But he is a very different cat, and just as adorable, he's so calm and placid and good with other cats and non-territorial and I can cuddle him for a long time, and he lets me check his teeth and claws... a very gentle little soul! Every cat is a unique individual that can be loved and bonded with :)
     
  13. Crushmer

    Crushmer PetForums Member

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    Makes sense :rolleyes: you are probably right.

    Years ago I had only 2 cats, then they both fell ill (suspected FIP) at the same time and passed away about a week apart. I felt like it wouldn't be right to get another kitty immediately, but the next thing I knew (about a month later) my husband surprised me with Kattie and I fell in love with him immediately... :smile: Actually helped me get over the loss of my two kitties in a way as now I had another kitty who I had to care for and give love to.
    But as I said, I understand that everyone is different.
     
  14. Cats cats cats

    Cats cats cats PetForums VIP

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    I too have had fear over whether i could bond again with another cat and have pretty much always said "never again " :eek:

    however , i always adopt again because despite the pain of losing them , i love cats and ......... they complete me , i need cats in my life :eek:

    sorry, sounds a bit soft i know ! :D
     
  15. Treaclesmum

    Treaclesmum PetForums VIP

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    Totally agree, my house just ain't a home without cats!! After a couple of cat-less years I realised that the joy of having them outweighs the pain of losing them, they are sooo worth it!! :blush:
     
  16. Crushmer

    Crushmer PetForums Member

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    Feel the same :D
     
  17. Jayne31

    Jayne31 PetForums VIP

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    I can understand where you are coming from. I sadly had to have Oscar pts 2 weeks ago. He was 18.5 and I had had him since he was 10 weeks old. We'd grown up together, he was there for all the good things and some of the worst things over the years.

    Losing him was heart wrenching and I too thought that I would resent any other cat purely for not being Oscar. Now I'm thinking a bit more clearly, I know it was a natural knee jerk reaction to losing him. He is irreplaceable, and I will never have another cat like him, but what I will have is a another cat....or 2 with different quirks and personalities and I will love them for them.

    Even though it has only been 2 weeks I am already looking at the various rescue centres and I have left my details with some. I'm not quite ready to accept some new furbies but I know I will be ready in the next few months.
     
  18. rose

    rose PetForums VIP

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    Everyone is capable of loving again, even the most heart broken. When we have a baby and plan a second, we worry we wont love it as much as our first, but of course we do! We are capable of loving several children/pets.family members all at once. You are still consumed by grief, its too early for you. But the pleasure a new little cat will bring you is something to think about, you will never stop loving your first cat, but you will be able to love the new one also.
     
  19. Cazzer

    Cazzer PetForums VIP

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    I've always had lots of cats in my life. Currently there are 6 but at one point we had 16 persians. When we lost one of course I would be sad but I never said 'never again', and would possibly get another cat quite quickly. My first special cat was Shona a gorgeous blue tabby who lived until she was 18. At this point I said no more cats and felt that way for a few months. We then went to the Supreme and I fell in love with NFC's. We were soon joined by Kalle and Kyrre, blue tabby and silver tabby brothers. Kalle is a quiet man and has bonded with OH [like Shona's pewter sister Shady previously]. Kyrre is a chatty boy and has bonded with with me just like chatty Shona before. I think it was meant to be [also on each occasion there was only meant to be one kitten available and yet fate conspired to make the second available]. I can't ever imagine life without them.
     
  20. Iheartcats

    Iheartcats PetForums VIP

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    When my cats died last year I knew deep down inside that I needed another warm, soft body to cuddle and love and especially at night and of course my beloved Buster and Amber would never ever be forgotten but I just couldn't imagine my life catless. My lap was VERY cold all last winter so I spent time on youtube watching cute vids to satisfy my longing for more cats. It took until July when we came back from our summer hol to find Fluffy walked into our life and hearts followed a month later with two 9 week old kittens.

    You know when your cat family is complete and you know when the time is right for new cat babies.
     
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