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When adoption doesn't work out

Discussion in 'Cat Rescue and Adoption' started by Kendrick87, Nov 10, 2019.


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  1. Kendrick87

    Kendrick87 PetForums Newbie

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    Hi everyone. I joined this forum just to post this. Not sure what I'm hoping to get from it but just wanted to share.

    I live with my partner, my three-year-old son and my 6-month old daughter. A little over a year ago we adopted a rescue cat, named Kenny (the name drew me to him as it's the same as mine).

    After initially being cautious with us he started to warm to me but unfortunately he did not get on with our boisterous son. I tried to teach my son how to act around him and things did improve but unfortunately the relationship between Kenny and my partner deteriorated, as did her mental health. She became very unwell despite receiving support in the community and around two months ago she was admitted to a mother and baby ward in a psychiatric hospital. Not long after I told the doctor about my partner's strained relationship with our cat, and she advised we rehome him.

    When my partner began to recover she told me she missed Kenny and did not want to rehome him, so I decided to hold off doing so. In the last couple of weeks my partner has been having several overnight stays at home and their strained relationship has not improved. I have also noticed that Kenny seems much more anxious when my partner is in the house, hiding away or asking to go outside when she is downstairs whereas when it is just me there he will come and cuddle me.

    One night last week she told me she did not want Kenny in the house any more, so I rang the adoption centre to get him on the waiting list. After only a few days I got a call that there was a space and I could drop him off in the morning. That was today. I've been incredibly upset since that phonecall and especially this morning. I feel like I have lost someone very dear to me and it breaks my heart, even writing this now. Kenny meant so much to me and I feel silly for getting so emotional.

    My partner did try to talk me out of it this morning because she could see how upset I was but ultimately I felt I had to take this decision to protect my partner's welfare. It may sound melodramatic but it was one of the worst experiences of my life, walking away from him at the adoption centre.

    Since I've been home I keep looking out of the garden, waiting to see him jumping at the door to let him in. I keep hearing noises in the house and thinking it could be him. I know it's only day one but I miss him so much.

    I really love him but I felt I had to make a choice between him or my partner. It wasn't a choice that she forced on me but if you saw just how unwell she was I am sure you could understand. I never want to go back to that place. No-one should have to witness their loved ones go through that.

    The bright side is she is making a good recovery and we are moving house to a much nicer home next month. It's going to be a new start, I just wish Kenny could be there with us too.
     

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    #1 Kendrick87, Nov 10, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
  2. Linda Weasel

    Linda Weasel PetForums VIP

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    Just to say sorry you’re going through this and I hope you all come out of it into a happier future.

    You sound like a really good, unselfish, caring person.
     
    TriTri and Kendrick87 like this.
  3. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

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    You don't sound melodramatic or silly at all. It's a terrible thing, what you've just gone through. Devastating.

    This was not only about your partner's health and well being it was about Kenny's too. It's no life for him, living in a home with a person he is uncomfortable around. You've done the right thing, and as Kenny is such a lovely cat I am sure he will find a suitable home very quickly.

    I am sorry you had to make this choice but it was a brave loving choice, for everyone. You did the right thing, for both of them. For all of you,
     
  4. Kendrick87

    Kendrick87 PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you both for your kind comments. As devastating as it is I do feel I have made the right decision for everyone involved. I just hope Kenny can finally find a settled, loving home.
     
    TriTri likes this.
  5. chillminx

    chillminx PetForums VIP

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    @Kendrick87 - I've replied in your other thread "Moving on" in Cat Chat. :)
     
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