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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok bit of a random one... a few months ago we had a new lady start working on our ward. She seemed lovely at first but within a few weeks she had started telling tales on people, reporting people and causing arguments. Naturally she isnt well liked by the team but as she has never caused me any problems directly Ive always been civil to her.
Anyway she just rang me in tears saying that she had had a huge argument with one of our colleagues. I asked her what happened and she said she was shocked because of something a patient did so started shouting at my colleague resulting in the manager having to take them both off the ward. She said that she doesnt mean to be nasty to people but her brother tried to commit suicide 3 times and it still upsets her, she also said she is very sensitive and finds it hard to cope with things on the ward so her reaction to that is to raise her voice. She wants me to speak to the rest of the team and explain all this so that they dont hate her.
Im not really sure what to make of this.. of course I understand that she has had a bad experience but she is almost 40 years old.. surely she has control over shouting at people and telling tales. Its difficult cos i feel sorry for her but I also dont want her coming between me and my colleagues who i get on very well with as it might see that im taking her side... not really sure how to handle it??:confused:
 

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I personally would not do as she's asking - it sounds manipulative.

I'd advise her that if she's having difficulty dealing with personal issues she needs to speak to your Occupational Health dept, who should be able to offer counselling.

If she genuinely has a problem hopefully she'll take up the couselling and her behaviour will improve.

If she continues to behave inappropriately the ward manager needs to deal with her.

I must admit i'd keep my distance and not get too involved.
 

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Exactly as ameliajane says; don't be manipulated into becoming her ally and jeopardising the good relationship you have with your other colleagues.

If someone had behaved badly and got someone else to explain for them I would lose more respect for them than if they faced up to folk themselves.
 

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I would be very very careful and keep her at a distance as I have seen situations like this before and as WL says you have to be careful that it doesn't come back on bite you on the bum, stay close with the other friends at work and don't let her get too close and don't tell her anything personal or that could be used against you, and I would tell her it's up to her to tell your colleges why she is such a bitch and not up to you at all and you have to be careful if you do say anything that that she told you to say she may then accuse you of gossiping and going behind her back just to get you into trouble, I would block or ignore her phone calls too.
 

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I would steer clear of getting involved in her games. In my opinion, someone who can't control themselves shouldn't be working in that environment.
 

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I'd do as above - but I would also go to my manager with my concerns not only to protect my own arse but to get her the help she needs and make life easier for your team, your patients and the ward.

Best of luck - not a nice position to be in - this is one reason I never exchange personal numbers with people at work unless we have developed a genuine friendship.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks guys, you have all sort of echoed what i was already thinking. i did say to her on the phone that if she is finding it hard to cope she needs to speak to the boss rather then lay into her colleagues. The lady she argued with is pretty upset.. personally i think the manager should ask her to leave. shes screwed things up for herself pretty badly now. still its not my call.
 

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Thanks guys, you have all sort of echoed what i was already thinking. i did say to her on the phone that if she is finding it hard to cope she needs to speak to the boss rather then lay into her colleagues. The lady she argued with is pretty upset.. personally i think the manager should ask her to leave. shes screwed things up for herself pretty badly now. still its not my call.
you can always tell her you are busy and never actually call her back, stay off the line as much as possible till she gets the hint to eff off. The more time you give her the more she will cling to you and drag you into her hole.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well I just spoke to two of my colleagues.. they text me.. apparently it wasnt just a disagreement.. this woman really laid into my colleague and said some really nasty things to her, for no reason at all. Im fuming:mad: Anyway ive told this woman that Im not getting involved and she will have to sort things out for herself. Now I feel stressed myself! Hate conflict of any sort!:(
 
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It does sound like she was trying to be manipulative. Glad you're staying away. Think the woman needs counselling to talk over her personal problems and to learn how to manage her behaviour and outbursts.
 

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Managers get much much more money than a standard employee for a reason - for the hassle and responsibility that comes with managing things;). I would stay clear, and only agree to do a managers job if I got the managers wage for doing so.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
shes due back at work tomorrow.. will have to see how it goes. She has already said to me that she cant cope with the job so will see how long she goes without blowing up. Thank god im off next week!
 

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God I still feel sorry for her lol. no one else does.
That's why she wants you on side; just make sure you look after number one in all this.
 

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So her using the reason of brother attempting suicide exccuses her upsetting people and rowing with colleagues infront of patients?

And she can't handle what happens on wards. I'm not sure this woman is in the right job if I'm honest.

Don't do what she's asked hun, I doubt itd do any good and you shouldn't be dragged down.
 
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