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What to do with Kiba? Need advice

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Kiba-the-grey-pupper, Jun 20, 2017.


  1. Kiba-the-grey-pupper

    Kiba-the-grey-pupper PetForums Newbie

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    Hi everyone,

    I'm new here and I'll introduce myself properly later on.

    My little pup Kiba is a 6 year old Akita who used to be my girlfriend's family dog. Her family gave him to me last year as a result of severe allergies and been looking after him since, together with my best friend who we live with. We both love Kiba to pieces and he loves us.

    My friend is moving out and was thinking of taking Kiba because I work full time (Leave here at 7AM and home at 9PM) with no time during lunch to go home and let my pup out for a walk or see him. Don't have a garden either and I can't leave him all alone for that many hours a day. I can't afford to quit or change my hours without losing the house and can't rent a different one because the contract is for another 13 months.

    If Kiba goes with my friend he'll have a huge house and garden to run in and always someone to play with. But here is my issue: Kibas previous owner doesn't want this to happen and they want Kiba to either stay with me or they'll get him back by going through court. My girlfriends family never signed any papers that gave away ownership so Kiba is still theirs technically and it feels like we were only there to look after him and pay for his food etc.

    My girlfriend can't have him either and can't live with me to look after him, so if Kiba goes with my friend (who also looked after him during this time) and they go to court, they'll rehome him and we simply won't see him again. If he stays with me he'll be alone for 13-14 hours a day, he has bad bladder control and separation problems and if my friend takes him he'll be taken away by his family because they really really don't want my friend to have him, they're concerned they'll never see him again and don't like him.

    I talked to my friend about it but he argued what will be best for Kiba and I have to admit I do agree with him. It'll break my heart but what's best for the puppy? My girlfriend also mentioned that if I let Kiba go with my friend she'll break up with me and end all contact. She will then still take Kiba away from my friend (and me) as well. They had Kiba for 5 years and my friend and I had him for 11 months but he is much more playful and energetic since living with us. I don't want to lose him, I don't want to lose my girlfriend(been together since 2011) and I don't want court to get involved either. I want what's best for little Kiba.

    Thanks for reading a long first post, I'll introduce us two in a bit :)
     
  2. steveshanks

    steveshanks PetForums VIP

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    This may not be the best advice so take it as you wish, but if my girlfriend gave me that kind of ultimatum she'd be dumped on the spot, but in this situation i'd try my best to make them see sense, or persuade the friend to go along with a "its tmp till i can sort out a better situation" story to help them see sense, course this may be mute if the law says it is your dog by virtue of you looking after him, i'd check on that.........once that is all sorted and the dog is settled, then i'd dump her blackmailing ass :)
     
    Sairy, Katalyst, MiffyMoo and 4 others like this.
  3. Kiba-the-grey-pupper

    Kiba-the-grey-pupper PetForums Newbie

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    Thanks for your reply!

    I checked the laws and Kiba would still be theirs cause of a simple receipt it's a matter of being "lucky" her family hasn't claimed him back yet :( Tried to get them sign for ownership but they flat out refused because of my living situation. I want whats best for Kiba but I also get why my girlfriend still wants to see him. This is only putting a strain on our relationship but I still love her and think she deserves to see her dog as much as we all do.

    I can't afford court, my friend can't afford court and I can't keep Kiba anymore. My family back home phoned me just after I posted this and I need to stay with my sick sister before she passes. She is allergic to dogs. I want Kiba to stay with me but it doesn't seem feasible at all what's the best thing to do for my little pal?
     
  4. Blitz

    Blitz PetForums VIP

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    So you cant afford to give up work, you are out for long days, the dog would have no provision made to let him out and now you have to move in with your sister and cant have the dog anyway. If your friend will take the dog then that sounds the best option otherwise give him back to the family or put him in rescue and dump your girl friend and have no more contact with the family.
     
  5. Singlefish

    Singlefish PetForums Junior

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    I don't understand, if they gave up the dog because of severe allergies, why do they now want it back? Have the allergies all cleared up? If you work such long hours how is your moving in with your sister going to help? Where are you going to find 13 months rent to buy out of your tenancy when you move in with your sister?

    I suspect trolling here.
     
    Cleo38 likes this.
  6. Kiba-the-grey-pupper

    Kiba-the-grey-pupper PetForums Newbie

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    Giving him to my friend definitely sounds like the best option but they'll take us to court if I do. My friend doesn't want to give Kiba up because they gifted him to us for a reason.

    Breaking up with her sounds horrible and not contacting them is out of the question as we both owe money to each other and need to pay it back to each other as well. To be fair she used to be fine with my friend having the dog it's just her parents that won't allow it and her fear of not seeing Kiba ever again. They said I'm letting him down and it truly feels like that. She doesn't want to hear it and wants to claim all our stuff back if I allow Kiba to go with my friend. If I don't and he just takes him they'll do everything to get Kiba back just to rehome him again.
     
  7. Kiba-the-grey-pupper

    Kiba-the-grey-pupper PetForums Newbie

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    Bit harsh to say I'm trolling yeah I know it's my first post but that doesn't mean I'm a troll? They don't want him back, they just don't want him to live with my friend at all. So they want him to either stay with me, not caring if he's alone for hours or they want to rehome him.

    And about my sister do I really have to go into detail? I never said I will have to end my contract early, because unfortunately I will only be out of the house for a month at most. My friend is leaving because of his own reasons and there's no one around who can look after Kiba when I'm away, apart from my friend. If Kiba stays with my friend her family will do everything they can to take Kiba away from him because they feel it's unfair and want to keep seeing him. My friend told them before that seeing him wouldn't be an issue but it's not enough for them. They prefer Kiba staying alone for hours and hours in a room or cage without anyone around him because he done it before when he was still living with them and was apparently fine with it. But I am not someone who willingly leaves their dog alone for 13-14 hours a day, sometimes longer, 5-6 days a week. They are also okay with my friend looking after Kiba and providing for him when I'm at work, that's fine, but they don't want him to be the sole owner of Kiba.
     
  8. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    Is he microchipped? If not, can they prove ownership?
     
    Mum2Heidi likes this.
  9. LinznMilly

    LinznMilly Moderator
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    Sounds to me like him going with your friend is the best option, and the fact that you are willing to let your friend take him, means that you're not the one letting Kiba down.

    Obviously, we only get hear one side of the story, when, in this case, there are about 4 - yours and your friends, your GF, your GF's family, and then, the truth, but from what you've said here, they sound like a manipulative, toxic family who are trying to put their own desires above the needs of the dog. They do sound emotionally attached to the dog, still, tbf, but unless the allergies have gone, or they're willing to deal with them and step up to the mark as dog owners, it's selfish of them to want to go through the court to get the dog back.

    Just be careful, because they don't sound like a supportive family, and with your sister ill/dying, you need all the support you can get. Like @steveshanks said, if anyone issued me with an ultimatum, that person would find out the hard way just how quickly they can backfire.
     
    Lurcherlad likes this.
  10. Mum2Heidi

    Mum2Heidi PetForums VIP

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    Unfortunately people involved in these situations tend to paint different pictures.
    From what you say, it seems your only option is to take someone aside (either the most objectionable or a soft touch)and convince them it's about Kiba nothing else. The lovely home he will have with your friend who he knows well(instead of new home and new owner). Make them feel guilty for not putting him first.
    If one to one doesn't work, try group action. Stand on a chair, scream, shout, curse!! Whatever it takes.
    If they won't listen then I think you will have to accept you tried your best and have to walk away. Very sadly you have more important things to cope with.

    My friend looked after her daughter's dog for a while as though he was hers. She feared he may have to go back and the boyfriend was unkind to him. She had him microchipped, claimed him as her own and he never went back.

    Take good care of your sister and yourself.
     
    Lurcherlad likes this.
  11. Kiba-the-grey-pupper

    Kiba-the-grey-pupper PetForums Newbie

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    My friend hasn't done the right things in their eyes. And although I have to agree with most of them, he is still looking after Kiba and providing him with love and care, even though he never had to do this. And that's what count in my eyes, Kibas health and welfare and happiness. Rehoming doesn't sound like something we can all deal with, I know Kiba will adapt at some point, maybe. But everyone involved will be heartbroken. He is 6 years old and just needs one family, not 3 different ones every few years or so. They had another dog after him, the allergies got worse but instead of rehoming the new puppy they just slept in different rooms and hoovered more. But the new puppy still got rehomed about a year later.

    I have nothing against this family I really don't. I do however have something against leaving a dog alone for a long period of time and dogs being lonely. My gf said he'll be able to deal with it it's better than being with my friend. Simply put I don't want to lose Kiba, even if I can't look after him right now I still want to see him when I can instead of him going to a new family.
     
  12. steveshanks

    steveshanks PetForums VIP

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    Your love life is completely your business but there is no way i would stand for emotional blackmail, i mean whats next, buy me the necklace or i leave you.
     
    Burrowzig and LinznMilly like this.
  13. Singlefish

    Singlefish PetForums Junior

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    For someone who works the hours you say you seem to be very active on PF.

    If your sister is as ill as you say why aren't your parents coming to stay with her?

    You also say that you and your friend can't t afford court, as the defendants in the case you would only incur costs if the court ordered it.

    If you and GF owe each other money surely only the one owing the most has to pay the difference?

    I say again I suspect trolling.
     
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