What changed your life?

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Charity, Dec 5, 2017.


  1. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    I suppose I thought of this when I was reading the thread about being on your own at Christmas and knowing that some people are struggling for various reasons at this time of year.

    Its not remotely cat related but I thought perhaps people might like to share experiences of when they were at a low point in their life and what came along to lift them up and make life better. This might help those feeling unhappy at the moment that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and bad times don't last forever.

    Shall I start.

    I'm an only child, I lived with my parents up until I was in my late '20s and cared for my Mum who died in her 50's of lung cancer. I had always gone to church but, when Mum died my faith lapsed somewhat and I stopped going and I have to say I took a wrong path in life for many years which, looking back, made me very unhappy. In the 90's, by which time I was living on my own, my Dad was ill one Christmas with pneumonia and he literally collapsed and died in my arms, on New Year's Eve. I found myself alone with no family. Also, around about this time, I lost someone else very important to me who just walked out of my life. I can honestly say that was one of the lowest points of my life, along with my Mum dying, and I didn't know where to turn or what to do. I found life and work an absolute struggle.

    I was a very shy child and a not very confident adult who wouldn't do anything on her own, still don't to some degree. A chap at work, who was a Christian, suggested I go to an Alpha Course being run by his church. My first thought was 'no, I'm not going on my own' but then I thought 'hell, woman, you've had much more traumatic things going on in your life than this, do it'. So, I plucked up great courage and went along.

    It wasn't at all Bible bashing or trying to push people into religion or joining the church, it was just sitting round with other like minded people who had questions and opinions about Christianity. We had coffee, there was discussion, singing and my friend from work was there who played the guitar. Afterwards we were given a very nice meal. I came away feeling happier than I'd felt for a long time and wanting to go back the next week.

    The course only lasted six weeks but I can honestly say it was one of the best six weeks of my life. I met two people there, a husband and wife, who have become two of my best friends and who I see every week..

    I still can't actually believe that I got through six weeks of going there on my own but it gave me the strength and courage to move on with life and not be afraid of it and it brought me back to God. I still don't go to church but faith plays a big part in my being able to cope with life and all the stuff it throws at you and I feel lucky to have what I have and my outlook on life is a lot brighter. Since then, there have still been times that I don't cope well but I get through. I was made redundant and had to re-train in a totally different career late in my 40s, I had a nervous breakdown nearly 10 years ago which ended with me giving up working where I'd been for forty years and I had to struggle for two years with little money until I got to pension age though I had my OH to help me.

    I believe we all need someone or something to help us get through life, whether it be faith, family, friends, whatever and I can only say, like I did, sometimes you do have to go out there and find it, it doesn't just come to you.

    I might regret opening myself up like this later as I'm a very private person but if it helps just one person feel a little more positive about their life and their future then, well, that's OK. :)

    Anyone else got a story?
     
  2. Faye1995

    Faye1995 PetForums VIP

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    Thankyou so much for this. From someone who can’t see a way out of this you’ve really helped. Thankyou
     
  3. ewelsh

    ewelsh PetForums VIP

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    Well said Charity xx

    I was the second daughter of 4 girls, my younger sisters died when I was very young, my mother and Father wrapped my sister and I in cotton wool, we had a beautiful childhood. We too are Christians, not bible bashers, just live a life where we show respect and kindness to everyone.
    My father died when I was 5 so we became 3, my family just doubled the love, yes I felt sadness growing up, but my sister and I clung together.
    Years passed, I got married, did the usual, the marriage failed due to ivf not working, so we divorced much to my families horror. I knew I was making the right choice, I knew I couldn’t be honest and give true happiness staying so I left. This was a very low time for me, I lost my home everything.
    I sofa surfed for 10 months, literally had my friends doing my washing, I even had a career change and started a degree.
    I found the smallest oldest coldest flat imaginable, no furniture, I was literally sat on a cardboard box. I can remember getting very drunk one night, Lord I felt ill. The next day I looked in the mirror and said “ right you, this is as low as you can get, so pick yourself up, dust yourself down and make the most of your life” I slowly furnished my flat, I even made curtains by hand out of pillow cases, I was so proud they looked lovely. I passed my degree, got another job, slowly very slowly my life started to improve.
    4 years later, I met my husband, we were both broke, but actually those were such fun days, I was made redundant after all that work, my OH moved with his job, he asked If I would follow him! So I did, left everything I knew, left my life of 33 years knowing everyone.
    What a shocker I got, that was so odd not knowing a soul, so I went to church and made a few friends, life improved, Sadly I had many miscarriages, this was heartbreaking time for us. We started IVF which always resulted in miscarriages, all our savings went on IVF, I can remember being in church one morning just sat there, a vicar I didn’t know asked if I wanted to talk, poor chap was still sat there an hour later with me ranting, then he said “ think about what you have got”
    We moved again and again, then I fell pregnant naturally, bit of a shock as the clinic said I stood no chance getting pregnant naturally, I was too old now, it was the longest I had ever gone and we thought we had cracked it this time, plus it was twins! We were elated, sadly I miscarriaged again, at 16 weeks my OH was in America, no family near me, so was all alone, this was the worst low. I didn’t realise my own strength till this point, I threw myself into village life, met some wonderful people again through church, all still in touch with me and started to help other people who were lonely, then I realised it wasn’t just me who was sad in this world.
    OH had a brilliant job offer, our lives improved financially, we moved again! 21 IVF cycles later all failed I have finally given up, yes I am sad for us, but I know life is the “here and now” I have much to be grateful for.

    Last month my beautiful sister took her own life, she had suffered so badly with post natal depression plus she became alcohol dependent, she didn’t want to be in this world anymore! She has left 3 beautiful, smart children. Yes I am heartbroken, she was my best friend, but now I am glad for her that she is not suffering. I have beautiful memories which nothing can take away. So my now role in life is to guide my sisters children, teach them how to treat people, that the world is a beautiful place and to be happy in life what ever it throws at you be it good or bad. You never know what’s round the corner to make you smile.
     
  4. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    Thank you @ewelsh. I'm a firm believer of 'when one door closes another one opens'. :)
     
  5. MilleD

    MilleD PetForums VIP

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    I read these stories and have to admit that my life has probably been fairly plain sailing compared to some.

    My defining moment I guess was when my Dad died a month before my 21st birthday.

    My mother had left me and my sister with him when I was 18 months old so he was my world.

    I lived with him and worked for him as he ran his own business, so we probably spent most of the day with him.

    The early 90's spelt the beginning of the end though, the high interest rates and his struggle to look after his family took their toll and he died of a sudden heart attack in May 1994 at the age of 50.

    The rest of the family then leant on me as I was always the strong one, so I had to organise the funeral and close the business down, whilst looking after my step-mother and my 3 sisters.

    One of the worst things I had to do was post a notice in a London newspaper to ask if there were any creditors that wanted to claim on his estate as he wasn't a limited company.

    We'd never had much money, and the bailiffs and building society trying to evict us also had to be dealt with by me.

    But, that experience completely shaped who I am now. My OH says it made me hard, but that was the only way to cope.

    My only other mistake was marrying the man I was seeing when my Dad died just because he'd known my Dad and I could talk to him about it - completely selfish in hindsight. But that did give me the experience of living in Germany as he was in the RAF.

    My life now though is pretty good, I qualified later in life as an accountant so I have a good job and live a comfortable life.

    I think if my Dad hadn't died though I wouldn't be the confident strong person I am now, I hope he is proud of me.

    xx
     
  6. ewelsh

    ewelsh PetForums VIP

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    @MilleD you bet he is proud of you! X
     
    loroll1991, MilleD, Charity and 2 others like this.
  7. whompingwillow

    whompingwillow PetForums VIP

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    I don’t even know where to start, and what I feel comfortable sharing so publicly, but I really enjoyed reading your stories
    Xxx
     
  8. Summercat

    Summercat PetForums Senior

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    I am along the same lines as Whompingwillow, quite a lot but not very comfortable being public.
    Though I will say, those that did share that is very open and encouraging to others.
     
  9. JaimeandBree

    JaimeandBree PetForums VIP

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    I certainly haven't faced the hardships or heartache in life that some people have, but I do have a story about how something seemingly quite small can make unexpected changes in your life, and as it involves Jaime and Bree and this forum then perhaps you would like to hear it :)

    I'm not sure if I have ever told the story on here of how I came to end up with Jaime and Bree when I did, but with the passing of each year (4 now!:eek:) and the ripple effect of having them in my life I am convinced there was a element of fate or kismet involved.

    I was a relatively innocent, naive, teenager with a head full of pretty, romantic ideas about life. When I was 16 if you had asked me to map out my life, then by the time I was 30 (I am now 32) I would have said with complete confidence that I would be a successful career woman with a wonderful, loving husband and a brood of moppet headed poppets. My parents met when they were teenagers and are still happily married and it never occurred to me when I was younger that my life wouldn't turn out the same way.

    As it turns out, I had the successful career bit right but not much else! For better or for worse, dating in the modern world does not lend itself to fairytale endings (if there is such a thing!) and my early dating experiences knocked my romantic notions right on the head! :rolleyes: Perhaps not such a bad thing really but it didn't seem like it at the time. Throughout my 20s I was definitely the "perennially single" one in whichever group of friends you care to choose, nothing ever lasted longer than a couple of months and always with me getting dumped on from a great height. Only having friends your own age is an absolute nightmare if your life isn't moving along the same tracks as everyone else is as you can't help but constantly compare.

    I had tried online dating a few times and when I was 28/29 I was seeing a guy I had met online. We had been together a few months, he seemed fairly smitten (though in hindsight there were some red flags) but then right before Christmas he disappeared and I never heard from him again. For those of you who don't know this is a particularly savage phenomenon of modern dating called "ghosting" where apparently it has now become acceptable behaviour not to bother to even break up with someone but just vanish. Charming, right. Sadly not the first (or worst) time I had been ghosted but it was (at the time) the straw that broke the camel's back! It is not great for your self-esteem I can tell you.

    I had at this point recently moved out of parents and into my own place. I had given half a thought to getting a cat but not seriously. Long story short, I decided at this point that enough was enough! I was done with dating and was going to live out the life of a crazy cat lady. It's funny to say out loud (so to speak) but this was genuinely my thought process at the time. So fate, or perhaps just crappy men, led me to Cats Protection sometime in mid-January, and in turn that led me to not one but two cats, my darling J&B :Happy

    You all know the next part of the story, which is that shortly thereafter J&B led me to PF!:D As smitten as I was with J&B it has to be said that I was at this point in something of a rut. I had no real social life, again when all of your friends are the same age as you then by the time you hit your laters 20s they are all coupled up and less available for socialising, or they lived elsewhere. The social invites I did get I often declined because I just couldn't be bothered with it all. PF had other ideas thoughs :D and one day I found myself on the sleeper train to London to meet a bunch of nutty cat ladies!!! Since then I have made some wonderful (I hope lifelong!) friends through PF and that helped me to start socialising again. Not only that but these lovely friends gave me the kick I needed to give online dating another go, without them I don't think I would have. I met a lovely guy 9 months ago and all is going well, I am keeping my fingers and toes firmly crossed on that one!

    So my story is that getting J&B, with the intention of shutting myself off, actually led to some new doors opening and good things happening in my life, as well as giving me J&B themselves in all their smoochy glory. It may be more "Bridget Jones" than other people's stories but don't underestimate the positive effect that small changes (if you can call two fluffy terrors a small change :D) can have on your life and sometimes quite without you meaning it too!

    Thanks to others for sharing their stories xxx
     
  10. Rufus15

    Rufus15 PetForums VIP

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    My journey is still ongoing as I'm still in my 20s.

    My dad left when I was 2, and spent the next 9 years swanning in and out of my life, often going behind his new wife's back as she told told him it was her or me. He chose her and, at 11, I told him I no longer wanted him in my life. I no further contact with him or my half siblings, and despite providing him with the opportunity of renewing contact 6 times in 15 years, he has failed miserably each time. My half sister seems to be following her mother and has managed to cause all sorts of problems but I seem to have gotten rid for now.

    It was always me and my mom, after a few relationships that went nowhere, she swore off all men. Our next door neighbour became obsessed with us and stalked us when we moved. He put a suicide note through the door, saying he had a gun and if he couldn't have us then no one could. This was late early 00s and there were no laws protecting stalking victims. My mom ended up with PTSD and turned very violent. Any relationship we had had previously was destroyed, and was obliterated after her ex conned her into debt - he transferred 5k onto our house before she realised what he'd done. Thankfully she threw him out quickly, and managed to get a further 15k off the house by proving it wasn't her debt. It sent her over the edge and I learnt quickly to stay in my bedroom. As an only child, I became very lonely.

    We decided to move to Ireland, and it was the best thing we did. My mom's PTSD became managed but by then the damage was done. I was 18 and drank like a fish, I was working part time and was being bullied horribly in school so I started self-harming, seriously contemplated suicide, and was drunk most weekends.

    I told my mom about my mental state after she sat me down and told me she knew I wasn't right, everything came out. I'd stopped eating and dropped to 7 stone, I was a complete mess. I started a new year at school with a bigger year group and things started to improve, until I got I to a relationship.

    I was with him for 3.5 years, and although he never laid a finger on me he was abusive in other ways. I very quickly put on weight as I ate my troubles away, for which he laughed at me mercilessly. He would lie to his friends and told them I wouldn't let him go out, making me public enemy #1. He gradually took me away from all of my friends, and my this point I was no longer talking to my mom or extended family. He knew I had to be up at 5am to get ready and leave for uni, he would stay up and play games online which would keep me awake. There were many more things but those are the first things that spring to mind. I lost myself completely.

    Then we went on holiday with his family, who all treated me with the utmost kindness in the month that we were there, and it jolted me back to my senses. I saw myself as I wanted to be and realised that I was nowhere near that any more. I was stuck living with him for another few months, but we mutually agreed to end things. I moved back to England for the summer, where he continued to mess with my head. I moved back to halls and stupidly invited him to stay, where he attempted to molest me after having me go and sign him in the the office but not going with me himself because it was "too cold". I will never forget that walk, I realised in that moment that he would never change. The following morning I told him he didn't want to see him again.

    He still tried his luck, but by then I'd met my now fiancé and he chased my ex off. He was, and still is, my absolute rock. We had an amazing 9 months until it went downhill again.

    His mother made him choose between her and me, and he of course chose me. She then disowned him and began a 2 year campaign of spite, resorting to stealing his brother's phone and sending him messages from the "brother" about how they all hated him and wished he was dead.

    During this, we fell pregnant and had our first which was wonderful news as we thought we were infertile. He ended up with severe depression, attempted suicide twice, self-harmed, cheated on me, and caused my mom to throw us out with a 4 month old baby.

    We then had a second happy accident, and the relationship was severely on the rocks. This was the period where I really showed myself what I was made of. I went back to work at 12.5 weeks postpartum with my first, and was pregnant again not long after. I worked evenings and weekends, supporting him through his final years at uni, helped him with his essays, and kept him on suicide watch. When my second was born he didn't eat, didn't sleep, just screamed for 6 months until we got him onto adequate reflux medication.

    Looking back on it, I think my second utterly shattered me. I had had so much go on without so much as a break, and I'd reached my limit. My mom very kindly paid for me to have intensive psychotherapy for 8 weeks before my third baby arrived and it saved my sanity. I know I need more, but I'm functioning now and so much happier. What also helped I think was the realisation that I'm probably autistic. It almost flicked a switch in my head and made me accept who I am unconditionally, and now I fully embrace it. I have a diagnostic assessment in 2 weeks, after more than 2 years of fighting for an appointment.

    I expect more challenges to come, but I feel more confident in myself now. I don't feel there was a defining moment, but rather looking back at how far I've come has made me realise how much I'm capable of. My children have been the one thing in my life that has been my constant, and they are such wonderful little people. They keep me working hard to be the best I can be.

    Sorry, that turned into a bit of an essay :oops::oops:
     
  11. KCTT

    KCTT PetForums VIP

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    Not quite in the same vein as the above stories but.

    I think the thing that changed me was when my dad was really poorly and he ended up in intensive care for 10 days. Up to that point I was a real worrier I always used to think ahead and overthink and worry about things in the future that may or may not happen. When dad was ill the only way I could cope was by taking each day as it came and only worry about the things I was told I should worry about. The prognosis could change 3 times a day in the morning they would be hopeful he would move to the ward later that day by lunchtime his oxygen sats would have dropped and he would be in ICU for a few days more. The other thing that affected me was just sitting in that waiting room watching what all the other families were going through and realising just how quickly things can change. Reading stories of awful life changing incidents in the newspapers and realising you were sitting next to the relatives who were dealing with that.

    Somehow going through that changed my outlook on life I do still worry but I find it easier to keep things in perspective. I also chose to do a whole host of things that had previously scared me but I felt like I wanted to face my fears. I did a tandem skydive from 15,000ft for charity, not bad given I used to be in tears at the thought of just getting on a plane.
     
  12. anon3

    anon3 PetForums Newbie

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    Ok, I'm not posting this under my usual name, for reasons which will become apparent. A year ago I was a completely broken person, a wreck. So many things had happened:

    1) my marriage had broken up leaving me with coping with being a single parent. I struggled.

    2) I met someone new, fell head over heels in love straightaway. He infected me with several STDs, lied to me constantly and tried to convince me i was deranged and insecure and became verbally and then physically abusive

    3) my daughter started self harming, social services were called in because school thought my exhusband had physically abused my daughter and that i should not be letting her have contact (this was not the case and it was dropped), my daughter continued to self harm and then attempted suicide

    4) my abusive partner raped me

    5) someone started stalking me with anonymous phonecalls and threats and abusive texts

    6) I discovered one of the STDs my abusive partner infected me has caused me to be in the early stage of cervical cancer (all cervical cancer is caused by an STD, worth knowing!!).

    I've described it all very matter of factly but what happened totally destroyed me, my confidence, my self esteem, it took all my joy of life from me and I couldnt see a way forward.
    That was me a year ago. I realised that I had to change things to survive.
    In the last year:
    I got rid of my abusive partner, I reported my stalker to the police, I reported my abusive ex partner to the police. I sought help, I was diagnosed with anxiety, panic attacks, depression and PTSD. I have had counselling from a wonderful rape crisis centre, I have had cognitive behavioural therapy for the anxiety and panic attacks. My daughter is in a better place and happier, and that makes me more confident and happier. Whilst i could never trust a man i didnt know, I have been lucky enough to start a relationship with someone I have known for many years and I can trust, he has made more of a difference than he even realises (i dont want him to get too smug).

    The old me, who I thought was dead and gone, is making a reappearance. I will never forgive my ex-partner for what he has done to me and i don't feel I should have to forgive him, however I hope if nothing else, it has taught me to recognise the signs of an abusive personality and get the hell out of there. I still have health issues, but i realise i am a bloody strong woman to come through all that, so I'll get through! And that there is always light at the end of the tunnel when you feel like there never will be!!
     
    #12 anon3, Dec 5, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2017
  13. anon3

    anon3 PetForums Newbie

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    I'm reading back what I just wrote and wondering why I felt the need to post it anonymously. Fact is, even though I'm in a better place now, the humiliation and shame that I felt about being raped and infected with STDs is still very much there. I shouldn't feel like that, it's the man that did it that should feel ashamed.
     
  14. ebonycat

    ebonycat PetForums Senior

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    My father died in a freak karate accident when I was 8years old. I struggled growing up & didn’t seem to fit in anywhere, did not get on with my two older brothers, struggled at school, kept myself to myself.
    I had suicidal thoughts throughout my teens, self harmed and had an eating disorder but didn’t tell anyone.
    Nobody talked about mental health back then.
    I left school & went into full time work, job hopped around, then when I twenty I decided to go to Israel and volunteer on a kibbutz (my family had been to Israel just a month before dad had died). I stayed there for a year & enjoyed it, seeing different places the churches etc but I still didn’t feel I belonged anywhere.

    I came home, then met a guy, I wasn’t getting on at home, didn’t get on with Mum or step father so when after a month of being with this guy he asked me to move in with him I did. I knew he was a wrong one before I moved in but he seemed to have a power over me,
    Three years with him, abuse everyday, I tried leaving him but he would tell me things like no one else would want me, that I was ugly & useless and I believed him.
    Crunch came when I found out he was cheating on me, I told him I was leaving and he hit me harder than ever before, cracking my cheek bone & giving me a huge black eye. Breaking part of my eye socket.
    Still I left, left everything behind, job, home. I didn’t have a penny to my name, he took everything from me.

    I moved back in with Mum and step dad.
    I finely found work, got myself together and worked my way up to managers assistant.
    Still I struggled with daily tasks, talking to work colleagues, inside of me was screaming for help but I thought my family would turn there back on me if they found out I had mental health issues.
    Finely this older man who worked in a different department (he was eight years older than me), started to talk to me, we got on so well. We started dating and all was lovely, I’d finely met mr right, and the best bit was my mum loved him.
    Within months he’d asked me to marry him and I said yes, we got a place together, a lovely little flat of our own. We started planning our wedding, the venue, Mum brought me a lovely ivory wedding dress, cars were booked, cake was being made, everything was going so well for us. I could be myself around him, tell him my fears.
    Then one day, we’d been living in our home for just over two months, (we got a kitten, Ebony) I was cooking dinner and he was in the living room and I heard an awful noise, I went in and found him spaced out on the sofa, unresponsive, I tried to wake him but got nothing, I called 999, called my mum, by the time the ambulance got here my Mum arrived just after. They wouldn’t allow me in the ambulance so me and Mum followed in the car.
    Got to the hospital and was put in the family room. Then we were called in, I stupidly thought he would be up in bed but that wasn’t the case, about ten drs were around the bed, one pumping his chest, then they called time of death, I clinged to Mum and screamed the place down. They said he’d suffered a heart attack.
    My whole world had fallen.
    I somehow picked up my life and went back to work but couldn’t cope. I decided to sell up & move back to my family town,

    Got a new job & found a house. I went on auto pilot for a while.
    Worked my arse off, then one day I snapped, started crying at work so was sent home. Went to the drs & was signed off for two weeks rest, I crumbled, my life crashed around me. I had a huge breakdown, tried to end my life (twice), Dr finely sent me to a counsellor & everything came out, childhood issues, not able to make friends, death of my partner, all the suicidal thoughts I’d had over the years, my dads death.
    Had counselling & was referred to the Asperger team, finely after so many years of struggling I was diagnosed with Aspergers & bpd.
    Then I was diagnosed severely sight impaired (after a lifetime of struggling to see, wearing glasses that weren’t ever strong enough, not being able to drive due to my poor eye sight).
    And my eyesight getting worse as I’ve got older.
    I still have a little sight left but I’ve been told it might go completely one day.

    Nowadays I volunteer for a blind/partially sighted charity, I’ve still got Ebony my wonderful heart cat, Alfie my little terror boy cat & Lady dog.
    I also volunteer with young adults that have Asperger.
    I’m single but not looking for a partner, I’m ok with being single. I have my animals that keep me company.
    I’m still in therapy but I’m ok with that, my Mum fully supports me & my mental health issues (turns out she’s been my rock).

    When I was growing up mental health wasn’t talked about,
    Asperger wasn’t even heard of, nowadays it shouldn’t be brushed under the rug like it used to be.
    You shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed if you have mental health issues.
    There’s still stigma attached to it but people are getting better & there’s more support around, still not enough support but it’s gotten better over the years.
     
    #14 ebonycat, Dec 5, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017
  15. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    Thank you all for sharing these emotive and very sensitive stories. You all sound very brave and strong people to me and I'm sure your stories will give hope to anyone reading them.
     
  16. whompingwillow

    whompingwillow PetForums VIP

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    I will share a snippet as it is cat related and you have all been so open
    Quite recently (about a year+ ago) I was in a very bad place. I had come to my end, death became the only answer and I planned to end my life. It was very final.
    I got an email from a local cat shelter that day literally, about fostering - I was going to say no, because I had other plans, but my head just kept saying write yes and press send. Don’t think about it just do it. so I did, I replied with a yes in a very disconnected way, and the next thing I knew it I had a family of kittens with mum, mum left when they were 8 weeks old and so I had the kittens on their own for a few weeks.
    I just adored them and just got busy with socialising the kittens, making sure they were all fed and well etc, death was no longer an option and they changed everything and brought so much joy into my life
    So cats literally saved my life I feel. And I have not been without a feline pal since

    Edit to add: I lied! I was without a feline pal in between Bella and Saffi. Bella came to me last minute a day after the foster kittens left, she was very sick unknowingly and before I knew it was gone. She is the reason I joined this forum, I loved and cared about her so so much, and she brought something beautiful into my life too for that short time, she was such a gorgeous soul. It was a horrible experience for me though and contributed to my overworrying the minute saffi had a bad reaction to the vaccination and then viruses and allergies etc. I constantly thought she wouldnt make it a week, but I am no longer worrying like that and just enjoying and loving her (and mojo now) :D
     
    #16 whompingwillow, Dec 5, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2017
  17. anon3

    anon3 PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you Charity for posting this thread. Whilst the stories on here are truly heart breaking, it does help to know that other people go through difficult times too and especially that people can come through and be happy again. Oh and cats definitely help!! :)
     
  18. ebonycat

    ebonycat PetForums Senior

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    Cats are healers, my two might not be lap cats but having them lay next to me on the sofa or lay at the foot of the bed, stroking them, knowing they love me makes me happy.

    Finding caring, likeminded cat/animal people on PF CC has been a godsend to me xx
     
    #18 ebonycat, Dec 5, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2017
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  19. Gwen9244

    Gwen9244 PetForums VIP

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    All the stories have brought tears to my eyes. You have all been so brave and fought through to come out the other side. You are right, mental health issues were pretty much brushed under the carpet but thankfully people are becoming more aware and there is such much more help out there.
     
  20. KCTT

    KCTT PetForums VIP

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    The story I shared came the week after I lost Topsy. I felt like I abandoned Tipsy as she had to go the cattery for what should have been 4 days and turned into 10 days just after losing her brother. Once she was home I was never there as I was back at work and doing a 100 mile round trip to visit dad. I thought Tipsy would hate me and we would have to start again on our relationship. Instead all she wanted to do was show me love and comfort. It really was like she knew what I was going through and just wanted to make things easy for me.
     
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