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Well that was a nice morning( not)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Lavenderb, Nov 2, 2011.


  1. Lavenderb

    Lavenderb PetForums VIP

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    Spent the morning in court. My ex isn't happy that he's stuck in prison and I'm not allowing him any contact whatsoever with our 5 year old son.

    He wants to be able to write him letters and send cards. Write letters about what exactly??? 'Today daddy attended the sex offenders programme again'...... hmmm..sooooo its now all down to social services whether or not he gets his wish. He wants photo's too. Nice...yes of course I'm happy to send photos of my 5 yr old child to a sex offenders wing, why would i object to that :mad:....

    Back in court in January for decision.
     
  2. skip

    skip PetForums VIP

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    i hope the time passes quickly for you and you get the right decision cant imagine the stress this must be causing you ((((hugs))))
     
  3. suewhite

    suewhite PetForums VIP

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    To my mind he gave up any right to want or expect anything.Hope all goes well for you in January.Suexxx
     
  4. harley bear

    harley bear PetForums VIP

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    Oh hun, how feckin dare he! I wouldnt be sending any photos either and as for contact pffft yeah i would move and not tell anyone where i was going before i let the ss tell me i had to let a sex offender have contact with my child!

    The only thing he deserves is his bollucks removing and be locked in solitary confinement for the rest of his days!

    Fingers crossed you get the right decision! x
     
  5. sarelis

    sarelis PetForums Senior

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    Good god, what an awful position for you. I can fully understand about you not wanting pictures of your son sent there, if he was any kind of a father surely he would understand? All the best x
     
  6. ClaireandDaisy

    ClaireandDaisy PetForums VIP

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    Just wanted to say I admire you for being strong, and to send you a little support.
    X
     
  7. Sarah1983

    Sarah1983 PetForums VIP

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    He'd probably be worse off in the general population of a prison than in solitary. Apparently they don't treat sex offenders well at all....

    I'm new here and don't know the whole story but I have to say I wouldn't be comfortable with a child having contact with a sex offender either! I hope they back you up and don't allow him contact.
     
  8. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

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    geez, hugs mate, you know where I am :)
     
  9. ebonymagic

    ebonymagic PetForums Senior

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    My ex was only allowed to see his kids once a month at a contact centre. His daughter accused him of all sorts. The police didn't press charges, but the family court judge didn't believe all that she said, but said 'there must be SOMETHING there'.

    His son stopped coming to see him as soon as he could and when I left him his youngest daughter refused to go as well.

    He was not a sexual predator, BUT he was a very angry man, who was over the top when it came to disciplining the kids.

    Still a threat to those who can't defend themselves. The only way he will ever see our child, is through a contact centre. But he didn't want to be a part time Dad.

    So what I am saying (I think) is that ss should be over protective of your child, so the chances of it being anything other than supervised contact, even if/when he gets out of prison should be zero.

    The courts do generally do what is in the best interest of the child, until that child is 12. Th.en they take their opinion into account
     
    #9 ebonymagic, Nov 2, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2011
  10. hope

    hope Banned

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    what the hell they should have said no to start with not drag it through court they are as sick as him if you ask me !
     
  11. DoodlesRule

    DoodlesRule PetForums VIP

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    Such a scummy system isn't it that anything he wants is even considered, and you are left with this hanging over you until the new year. Keep strong
     
  12. tjk

    tjk PetForums Senior

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    that sounds about right for this country im sure the court and social services will make the right decision for your son

    i will keep everything crossed for you and your son

    also if you need any advise i have a freind who has a law degree in child law and has worked in child protection department ( ss ) so if you want me to find anything out i wouldnt mind :)
     
  13. Gilly and Jess

    Gilly and Jess PetForums Senior

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    God. I don't envy you your position sugar. How dare he think he can make demands if he's committed such offences to put him where he is? I don't know your story, I won't ask, it can't be good for you keep dredging it up, but how bloody dare he??!!!

    I had to stop my kids' dad from seeing them when he went to prison nine years ago. He beat a bloke so badly that the police thought they'd be looking for a dead body, went to prison for 2 years. He only did 12 months of that, but he had the cheek to ask me to go to court and say I'd slept with the bloke whilst we were still together and that's why he did it?? :mad2: :mad2: :mad2: looooooooooooon!! He'd beaten the crap out of me 12 months previous to this so my solicitor jumped on it and stopped access. Took him two years to get it back, and that was (I'll use the term) just,( but don't mean it THAT loosely!) domestic violence.

    I think you'll find the courts will come down in your favour, but why they couldn't have done that today I don't know.

    Good luck, stand tall and be proud!! xxx
     
  14. Lavenderb

    Lavenderb PetForums VIP

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    Im fine with telling the ones who don't know what he did. I was with him for 9 years. He abused my 12 yr old daughter. He was sentenced to 8 yrs last year, but got away with only having to serve 4 because he pleaded guilty from the start. He's so far served one of those years and its taken a year for this contact issue to get to court.
    We moved home because there were too many memories of him at the last house. He has asked to be assured that we wont be leaving the city we are in, which is absolutely none of his business but its another way of him controlling us.
    He also has a previous prison term for GBH 18 which is a very serious conviction, his was at the higher end of the scale as the man he attacked almost died.

    So I'm really hoping social services will be sensible and deny him any contact. I sort of ummed and ahhed about posting any more about this but I'm fed up with having to keep quiet and sometimes having to explain my views on things . I've had to toughen up massively and some men find that intimidating and sexist , but they don't know what has happened.

    I'm not going to apologise for having strong views, life has shaped me that way.
     
  15. Gilly and Jess

    Gilly and Jess PetForums Senior

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    Right behind ya there sugar! Life makes us into the people we are, you should never have to explain yourself to anyone!

    Makes me sick how this court malarkey takes so long. I mean there's no contest really is there? He has no rights whatsoever. Simples. Dirty little **** shouldn't be allowed anywhere near kids, why are the courts even bothering to waste time on his requests. An out and out NO would be the sensible decision!

    Hugs!! xx
     
  16. owieprone

    owieprone PetForums VIP

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    good luck. fingers crossed for you.
     
  17. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

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    big, big hug..and I would ask him?what role model is he?..he forfeited his rights to be a father when he abused his daughter!...
    So in my view..no contact is best!..but it is just private opinion ...I do feel for you ..I had been working with victims of abuse..I feel no sympathy for those who hurt children...the bl**dy cheek!
    heartfelt sympathy for you...
     
  18. ozrex

    ozrex PetForums VIP

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    Good for you stating your case like that. You and your children have NOTHING to hide. All shame to the abuser, I say.

    Stay strong, stay focussed. You're a wonderful mother. Thank God your children have you to stand up for them. So many women can't.

    Strength to your arm and best wishes for your cause.
     
  19. dorrit

    dorrit PetForums VIP

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    Reading this made me want to jump in the shower again ...Yuk

    I have family who work in the prison service and they say sex offenders are the worst..They actually get off on group therapy and why wouldnt they all sitting round telling tales of abuse and while one says sorry the others are lapping it up like its Xrated TV.

    I dont blame you one bit for not wanting your children anywhere near this man and as for a photo OMG NO! totally inappropriate.

    I hope you get a sensible judge who will tell him to take a running jump.....
     
  20. Clare7435

    Clare7435 PetForums VIP

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    My God hun how much sh1t do they want you and your kids to go through.....I hope you get the right decision,,,This is one of the reasons I can't work in this area again....I used to work with an organisation who dealt with similar situations....supervised access ect....and I flatly refused in cases such as yours....not professional? Deff not but I would rather stay unprofessional than put any child /mother through this crap. What I don't like with the justice system is that your children are of ages that can speak for themselves so why the hell don't they allow them a voice and listen to them...then the decision would be made ....and you as a mother wouldn't have to go through this as wouldn't your children who have obviously been through enough.
    Just remember that you are a good mum ...and however stressed and tired of it all you get.. you are doing what's best for your kids....The cheek of the T****r asking for something he gave up every right to when he did such a god awful unforgivable thing. You hang in there hun....Justice in this case will be done
     
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