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Wanting to give up.......

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by WelshOneEmma, Jan 29, 2012.


  1. WelshOneEmma

    WelshOneEmma PetForums VIP

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    Do you ever have days where you just have had enough of your dog and just want to give up? I love Piper when she is curled up sleeping on me, its just the rest of the time!

    I have had a rough week and she just seems to be pushing EVERYTHING. Mind you, she has for a while. So i now think she's a problem dog, hubby doesnt and we argue a lot about this.

    She is about to turn 2 and she is -

    barking when out in the garden
    very selective recall
    bully to small white/fluffy dogs (but fine with JRTs)
    if on lead and can't get to a dog to say hello, barks and growls
    if she sees something run, she's off and will come back when she wants to
    refuses to do anything i say (slightly better with OH)

    I know she is only 2, i know she will push it and i know that we need to up the training, it just feels like nothing i am doing is working and just feeling useless as an owner.

    i wanted to just walk off and leave her today (obviously i didnt). Guess i am having a rubbish week and feeling sorry for myself.
     
  2. Dober

    Dober PetForums VIP

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    Have you thought about going to structured OB lessons? Or meeting with a behaviourist? All the issues you've mentioned are issues that can be worked on, and it can be much easier when you have the support of a group environment.
     
  3. LexiLou2

    LexiLou2 PetForums VIP

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    I second the above, all your issues, well most of them listed are issues I have had with Bosley, i got a trainer involved and we are making huge progress, his recall is pretty much 100% (I do occasionally have to do the running in the opposite direction squealling but we are getting their) a rabbit ran infront of him the other day, he took one look at it and came back to me for a treat. Bos is about 2 and a half and we've had him nearly 8 months, its not been easy but we are getting somewhere.
     
  4. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    Honestly we had alot of the problems you have mentioned (& more!) with Roxy. I had weeks when I felt a failure & nothing I did seemed to make any difference. At times I just seemed to be adding new problems to Roxy's 'issues list' :rolleyes:

    But .... things did start to get better & we have made alot of improvements. Yesterday we took her to a beach where she was fantastic even though there were other dogs around. We had one instance where she ran off to play with another dog but this was never an option a while ago as she was far too OTT with other dogs & people.

    Try & get a session with a trainer/behaviourist & maybe join a class. Sometimes it's about building your own confidence as well as your dogs. Is there anyone near you who has a calm, stready dog that you can walk with? There are also lots of posts on here regarding recall (believe me we are constantly practising this!), using whistles, toys, etc

    It just does take time & (alot) of patience, we still have a long way to go but after our outong on Saturday I really can see just how far we have come.
     
  5. 5rivers79

    5rivers79 PetForums VIP

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    Never felt like that since taking on Samson. My dogs are a bundle of joy even when they are naughty and misbehave. Infact i find it boring when they go to sleep!

    Sammy bit my ass 2-3 times in quick succession earlier today and then thought it would be funny to grab my arm and try and pull it off. I was in the middle of doing something at the time, so i stopped what i was doing and started wrestling with him. We were both on the floor rolling around trying to get the best position to make each other submit. No one had the advantage after a good 10 mins so i just gave up and began rubbing his chest. He calmed down and walked off to see what my dad was doing lol
     
    #5 5rivers79, Jan 29, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2012
  6. WelshOneEmma

    WelshOneEmma PetForums VIP

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    We took her to classes when we first got her. We learnt the basics but she was never interested in doing anything for us - the trainers and the other dogs were far too interesting and we were embarrassed every night! We stuck with them til she was about a year. I may try someone new as a trainer as i just feel lost.

    She is amazing with people and kids, but i dont trust her with other dogs now, and i no longer trust her with the neighbours cats. She saw deer the other day and was off, came back 5 minutes later. So i tend to put her on the lead a lot more now, whilst hubby doesnt think there is a problem.

    In the house she listens to me, on walks she just refuses. Nothing brings her baack, not treats, toys or anything. She always keeps us in sight and will come when we get too far from her. but if there is a smell to be investigated, she suddenly becomes deaf!
     
  7. hazel pritchard

    hazel pritchard PetForums VIP

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    Hi sorry to hear you are having probs with your dog, what breed is she? could it be she has reached her teenage yrs a bit late and shes being a stroppy teenager,, what food does she have?
     
  8. Pupcakes

    Pupcakes Lady of The Terrors.

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    Aaaaaw :(

    I really felt for you reading your post. Dont worry, I get like that too! I never mean it, same as you, but sometimes I feel like saying "Fine! You know best, dont listen and do what you want! See where it gets you!"

    In fact I had a stressful walk (stressed before I walked the dogs, not their fault) and I was getting really stressed walking. Dottie barked at a rocking horse on the pavement and then a man walking behind us, I marched on cussing :eek:

    Then we got down the road and Dottie and me just stopped and she looked at my with this face like "Now come on, really?" and we just stared at each other and I started laughing and as we walked up the road I kept saying "Dottie doo doo!" and she kept wagging her tail and jumping up at me, I looked stark raving mad, but looking into Dottie eyes, all my stress left me and we carried on.

    It's very hard sometimes, but, it does improve, just REALLY slowly (or sometimes quickly) but dont give up and dont feel bad as we've all been there or in my case been there, got the t-shirt, got so many t-shirts I bought the store and now run it :lol:

    xxx
     
  9. WelshOneEmma

    WelshOneEmma PetForums VIP

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    Can i just ask whaat is the dog you have in the bottom pictures?
     
  10. Nico0laGouldsmith

    Nico0laGouldsmith PetForums VIP

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    it sounds like you're very stressed. . . maybe you could take a step back and let your OH do all the doggy stuff for a bit so you can just spend time with her when she's tired and sleeping and you'll destress and be ready to tackle her issues again :)

    I guess it's like having kids sometimes you just feel like you need a break!
    It's not your fault she's obviously just pushed you to your limit

    I do think dog training classes would be a good idea. . . they would also help with the issues around her reaction to other dogs because she would be so used to them all.
     
  11. WelshOneEmma

    WelshOneEmma PetForums VIP

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    I think this is part of the problem. When I first got pregnant i was so tired and sick he took on the majority of the walking. I miscarried a week ago so he took a week off to look after me and again took over the dog walking. Now if I take her on my own she won't listen to anything i say.

    She is (so we have been told) a terrier cross. We don't know what with as she was dumped at what we assume was 7 weeks of age.

    She is fed on home cooked food. She either has lamb or beef, with veg, a little brown rice and usually some heart cooked in with that as well.
     
  12. LexiLou2

    LexiLou2 PetForums VIP

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    Have you done any focus work with her? We have had a real up hill struggle with Bos however today we went on a group walk (and terencesmum came too so shes my witness) admittedly he was on a 30ft long line but he did brilliantly, recalled every time focused on me, i even got him walk 'close' (my heel) with 20 other dogs running about.
    Anyway my trainer taught us 'focus work' and now Bos has to 'focus' to get anything.
    The basics.
    Hold a treat in you closed hand so the dog knows you have it. Now she should go through her whole repitoire of tricks but chances are she'll fixate on your hand that holds the treat...that is a dog that is not focused on you. Hold that treat in your hand until she looks you in the face, then give the treat. Repeat (lots) you can add in a command if you want we never did.
    Bos now has to look at me in the eye before he gets anything, so his food, he has to leave while i put it down, then has to look at me, to be let off lead I expect a sit and to look at me, LOTS of recalling on walks, just for the sake of it, I recall I ask for a sit, I release, 1 minute later I recall I ask for a sit stay for 5 secs, i release, 3 mins later I recall I ask him to walk close for 5 steps I release.
    I change direction a lot as well, keep him watching me, so just turn and do 10 steps in the opposite direction.
    If she runs off start running in the opposite direction, be excited and interesting.
    Its taken me 9 months with Bos and we are getting somewhere now.
     
  13. Dogless

    Dogless PetForums VIP

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    I wouldn't have said that I had ever wanted to give up, but have had some really frustrating, bad days from time to time.

    Can I perhaps recommend an excellent book called "Chase! Managing Your Dog's Predatory Instincts" by Clarissa Von Reinhardt for the chasing / recall issues? It is a very easy to read and understandable book which uses the concept of a 'communicative walk' - lots of ideas and games to strengthen the bond between you and your dog whilst on a walk and have them focussing on you. The training is fun and some of the ideas have proved very useful to me.
     
  14. LexiLou2

    LexiLou2 PetForums VIP

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    I'm really sorry to hear of your loss and hope I'm not speaking out of turn but do you think that you could be feeling extra sensative at the minute due to everything going on. I know my REALLY bad spots with Bosley were when I had other issues going on in the rest of my life. My mum has been quite poorly over the past 2 years and the one time I considered giving Bos up was when my mum became quite ill again, when everything else in life is going OK i find him easier to deal with, but when everything turned upside down, I jsut needed him to be good, and he went the other way.
    She may sense your feeling down and play up to it.
     
  15. WelshOneEmma

    WelshOneEmma PetForums VIP

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    Quite possibly. She has been pushing it a while, but these last few weeks she has been a nightmare. i will order the book that was suggested and look up other trainers.
     
  16. cinnamontoast

    cinnamontoast Sois pas chiant, chéri.

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    Sounds very familiar. Zak is 19 months and a 'problem child'. He does all of this bar the barking and is going for training, 121, with Alphadog next week. He is also affectionate, adorable, clever.

    What are you going to do with her?

    Brig lost his recall at 2 and we started him again from scratch with training. He was easy and has remained the best dog. Terrible twos?

    So sorry to hear you miscarried. I think you should look after yourself at this time and let the OH do the walking.
     
    #16 cinnamontoast, Jan 29, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2012
  17. moonviolet

    moonviolet PetForums VIP

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    I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your OH will understand if you step back from the walking for now. You are a team and sometimes you are the one leaning on them and other times they will need to lean on you. :)

    If you can. when you are feeling like it do some fun activities at home with Piper it will strengthen your bond if you can have some fun together.
     
  18. McKenzie

    McKenzie PetForums VIP

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    Sorry for your loss :(

    Lots of other people have had good suggestions, but how about doing a fun activity with her, like agility or flyball, when you feel up to it? It might help strengthen your bond and harness her energy for something fun and good :)
     
  19. PoisonGirl

    PoisonGirl Banned

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    Sorry for your loss x

    I told Xiva she was stupid and I was going to send her back the other day :eek:


    (obviously I didn't :D )
     
  20. vickieb

    vickieb PetForums VIP

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    :( sorry your having a bad time. I have bad times and i haven't gone through what you have.

    I try to forget about the sh1t days and every day is new. I get livid, frustrated, and I also think RIGHT FRIGG OFF THEN!!!!! But like someone said already I think he plays up more if I'm in a bad mood already.

    Apart from hang in there and try a few suggestions that others have said, I mainly wanted to let you know your not alone with these feelings. :)
     
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