Welcome to PetForums

Join thousands of other pet owners and pet lovers on the UK's most popular and friendly pet community and discussion forum.

Sign Up

Upset, angry or annoyed cat?

Discussion in 'Cat Training and Behaviour' started by MILLIEMOO, Mar 22, 2011.


  1. MILLIEMOO

    MILLIEMOO PetForums Junior

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Hi. Basically I have my own cat, Ruby. Who is loving and friendly. She kneads me every night whilst licking my face, she sleeps onmy pillow with her tail across my face. She loves to be carried about, cuddled etc.

    my xbf lives in the flat nextdoor and he "has" a cat, gracie. we were keeping the cats together for company during the day. Theyre both 10 & 11 month old girls and have been playing together and staying together since they were 3 & 4 months old. They get on well. Lick and groom each other. They even sleep together if im not there. They were kept together for almost 12 hours a day and my bf would only take gracie up at night. now we've split up, I've taken on gracie permanently. Well actually she's the reason we split up because he was not being responsible for her, instead i was feeding her and looking after her all day. and he'd take her when it was convenient. But thats a different story.

    But now that gracie stays over at night, and wants to sleep on my bed and cuddle up to me. ruby is very distant from me. She sleeps in the corners of the room. When I call her she doesn't really want to come. (if the other one isn't there, she's very obedient). She doesnt come to groom me or knead me. If i try to pick her up, she crouches and runs away. not like her at all. it's really bizarre because she doesnt behave this way in the day. if i lie down in bed, Ruby;ll come for a cuddle. but at night, she doesn't come close. its so strange, because even if im at home, ruby will sleep near gracie at night anywhere in the room, except on my bed. if gracie is on the bed, ruby wont come near.

    as for an experiment, we took gracie back to his flat for a couple of hours at night. and ruby was back to her purring, kneading self immediately!! Sleeping with her tail in my face as usual! Same if we put gracie in a crate. then ruby comes back meowing and purring.

    gracie used to sleep in a dog carrier at my ex's. because he didn;t like her "messing about at night" but now i'm letting her sleep anywhere she wants as i felt sorry for her being locked up. and didnt deem it fair to have one in and one out. although gracie didnt mind at all to go in the crate. should i put her back in at night?

    Ruby is a persian and very laid back. and Gracie is a mix and the dominant one.

    Any explanations please? I would appreciate any help, no matter how little it is. I feel so bad for ruby. it seems almost as if she's being bullied of her comfort zone at night.

    By the way, Gracie has been sleeping here for over a week now.
    Ruby has NOT gone off her food, is using the litterbox fine.
    Also, my bed is a mattress on the floor. its not even like its a high place for the "boss cat"

    Thank you so much!! xx
     
    #1 MILLIEMOO, Mar 22, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2011
  2. Jenny1966

    Jenny1966 PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2011
    Messages:
    7,211
    Likes Received:
    2,992
    I think you hit the nail on the head when you said she was being bullied out of her comfort zone, as far as she is concerned thats her bed!! She probably thinks thats her special time with you and she doesnt want to share it :)
     
  3. MILLIEMOO

    MILLIEMOO PetForums Junior

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    thanks jenny. how can i get ruby to understand its ok to come back to sleep in her place? theres plenty of room in my double bed for 2 cats!lol sorry if this scenario sounds bonkers. ive never had 2 cats at once before. only dogs!
     
  4. Jenny1966

    Jenny1966 PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2011
    Messages:
    7,211
    Likes Received:
    2,992
    At the moment it's still new to her, I cant imagine how my Molly would react if someone took her place on our bed, she's a little persian and they certainly like their cuddles :) All you can do is hope in time she will realise that you have enough love for both of them :)
     
  5. carly87

    carly87 PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2011
    Messages:
    10,864
    Likes Received:
    5,537
    I've had a sort of similar issue lately, although it's not to do with another cat on the bed. I recently moved house, and my girlie started hanging out by the litterbox a lot. Even though she'd showed no stress when I'd taken her to the new house to spend weekends a few times before I moved in, I guess the appearance of all of our stuff made her realise she was here to stay, and that prompted her to stick close to her scent. Nothing short of going and physically picking her up could coax her out of there, and that's not normal, as my girly's a total lap hot. I went out and bought some treats that I know she really, really likes. Then I started by taking her to the living room. Every time she approached the door to go into the hallway and back to the box, I called her and offered her a treat. It took a lot of patience and even more treats, but eventually she learned that every time she favoured the sofa instead of the box, there'd be a treat in it. Right now she's sprawled on the arm of the sofa.

    I did exactly the same thing when it came to sleeping in bed, and I sprinkled treats on her old favourite sleeping spot. Luckily for me that was at the bottom of the bed, so no crumbs! Again it took an awful lot of patience, but for the last three nights, she's slept with me solidly again, despite her route to her box being readily available to her.

    This will no doubt be more difficul with two cats, but I thought I'd suggest it as something that's worked for me coaxing a nervous cat back to where she was previously.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice