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Two dogs and a one year old! Stressed and feeling guilty

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Lemspa, Feb 14, 2019.


  1. Lemspa

    Lemspa PetForums Newbie

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    Hi there,
    I wanted to post this on a dog forum rather than a baby forum because I'd prefer the critical response of dog-centric people rather than baby-centric ones!

    I have two dogs; a papillon and a spitz klein/pomeranian (big pom basically) aged 3 and 2.
    I also have a 1 year old daughter.

    I am an animal person, ive had dogs and cats my whole life and my work is related to dogs. Before having a child I could never understand people who would rehome their dogs after having a baby.

    Before C was born the dogs were my life, days were catered around them and I always made sure they had long walks, especially on weekends, and a dog walker in the week when we worked.

    I carried on with the long walks when C was born but it is so much harder now.
    Getting ready to out is such a stressful experience.
    My pap whines and runs in circles uncontrollably as soon as she sees my trying to put the (very difficult) baby carrier on, getting ready to go out takes about 15 minutes the whole time my pap is at max excitement and I end up snapping at her because I just can't think.

    My point is a feel so guilty because I feel like I don't give them as much attention as they used to have, my pom is okay, being younger, but my pap used to be the 'only child' and probably spoilt, but now I can't give her that same level of attention. I just feel constant guilt.

    I'm not going to rehome my dogs, I think I just want to share and see if other people have had this. I don't know anyone else with two dogs and a baby and I admit I regularly regret getting them, despite loving them. If any one has any of their own experiences please do share!
     
  2. Blitz

    Blitz PetForums VIP

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    I had 3 dogs (or was it 4) when I had a baby. My dogs were very important to me as were my horses, cattle and sheep, so baby had to fit in I am afraid. My husband was usually working away from the farm so I was on my own with cattle to muck out and feed, horses to do and I was lambing sheep when the baby was a month or so old. It just all happened quite happily.
     
  3. O2.0

    O2.0 PetForums VIP

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    Oh, it's tough, but it does get better!
    It's perfectly okay to not give your dogs as much attention as you used to, as long as their needs are being met, the baby stage is really relatively short, and before you know it, you will have time to breathe, and do other things :)

    There are also other ways you can create entertainment for the dogs. Brain games, puzzle toys, snuffle mats, and even asking the dog walker to come walk them even though you are home. A nice break for you.

    As for walks, I would start with management. If you have a crate, pop the papillon in to a crate while you get the baby ready. Might be worth trying out a different carrier too. The easier the better!
     
  4. Lexiedhb

    Lexiedhb Team Ginger!

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    Is a dog walker an option?
     
    Lurcherlad likes this.
  5. Lemspa

    Lemspa PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you for your supportive words! Those are all great ideas, that's I'm going to look into, I think I just needed a new perspective on things! Thank you again!
     
    lorilu likes this.
  6. The Wild Bunch

    The Wild Bunch Owner of dogs and referee of children

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    Been there, the baby stage is so short and before you know it your baby will be flooding the kitchen with the dog’s water bowl! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your dogs will be happy with whatever exercise you offer them. They will be happy to have you around more often while you’re at home with the baby and will like snuggling with you while baby is down for a nap. If you can get help walking the dogs or if you have a partner who can walk the dogs before/after work so that it’s one less job for you, you can then just spend the day chilling with your pups and enjoying your baby
     
    Lurcherlad, Bugsys grandma and lorilu like this.
  7. Picklelily

    Picklelily PetForums VIP

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    It doesn't matter whether you have dogs or not those early years are really tough and everyone seems to pretend they are superwoman. It does get easier xT
     
  8. Bugsys grandma

    Bugsys grandma PetForums VIP

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    Don't be so hard on yourself. Having a baby is hard work, and most of us who've had children and dogs have been where you are now.
    What i would have suggested has already been mentioned. Things like brain games are great and just 10 mins spent with each dog, maybe while baby is napping, can really tire them out then you can spend the rest of baby's nap time with your feet up having a cuddle with two tired dogs!

    I don't know if you have a garden, but if you do you could maybe spend a few mins throwing a ball about in the garden for them, that would help give them some physical exercise on days when getting out for a walk is difficult.
    As long as your dogs are being included as part of your family I feel sure they will be perfectly happy.

    I understand how frustrating having a dog go nuts while you're getting ready for a walk can be,especially when trying to get a little one ready too, so I would agree with the suggestion already made that you pop the dog in a crate while you get sorted, at least that way they won't be getting in your way. Perhaps you could start to work on training this dog to be calm whilst you are preparing for a walk, although I do appreciate you probably just don't have the time or inclination to be doing that right now, but could be something to work on once your baby is a little older and you don't feel so overwhelmed with everything.

    Wishing you the very best :),
     
  9. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    If you have a partner, try and give the dogs a quick walk before they go out to work so they can look after baby. Same in the evening. A good thing for you to have time out too after being at home all day with baby ;)

    During the day, play time out in the garden for the dogs, chasing a ball if that’s their thing.

    Get them used to settling with a Kong and being left behind while you go out with baby so they don’t preempt an outing every time you get ready.

    If you want to take all 3 out together, leash the dogs first and tether them apart, maybe with a chew, while you get yourself and baby ready so they can’t go crazy.

    Hire a dog walker a couple of times a week.

    Don’t lose your temper with the dogs tho, it’s not their fault ;)
     
  10. Tizwaz

    Tizwaz PetForums Junior

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    Hi I didn’t have dogs when mine were babies but the youngest of 4 was pre school age and are now grown up then dogs and grandchildren yes don’t worry about the stress of it all and losing your temper it’s all part of family life my basil faulty walk kicking my legs high and yelling get out of my way became legendary ( it was called another name but I don’t think I can use it on a forum) I love my pets children and grandchildren and would never hurt them but sometimes tensions run high they’ll all become great friends .you haven’t taken anything away from your pets but given them another lap to sit on and a playmate I’m afraid as a parent and having pets comes with a package of guilt it just shows how hard you’re trying enjoy these years stress and all they go far too quickly
     
    Bugsys grandma likes this.
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