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Tried to chear myself up here is a few jokes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by sandymaynard, Jul 24, 2009.

  1. sandymaynard

    sandymaynard PetForums Senior

    Feb 21, 2009
    Likes Received:
    the stupid bat
    A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

    Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

    He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

    "OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

    Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

    Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

    "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

    "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

    "Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't

    Got a headache
    It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife.

    "That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits," he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"

    At first she declined. But finally persuaded by her husband, she took off her blouse and bra.

    The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down.

    "Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes and we'll see what he does."

    Again she said no and again he persuaded her.

    This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the cage.

    The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and pushed his wife in. "Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell HIM you have a headache!"

    Dog Watch
    Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

    Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

    Birdie Poem
    Birdie, birdie in the sky
    Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
    I'm a big girl I won't cry,
    I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

    Okay that is me done... Oh wow they are so bad! That is what i get for being bored at a computer!
  2. bird

    bird PetForums VIP

    Apr 2, 2009
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    Gave me a giggle ;)
  3. Patterdale_lover

    Patterdale_lover PetForums VIP

    Sep 25, 2008
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    Haha they are soo funny and cheered me up!!
  4. munchbunch

    munchbunch PetForums VIP

    Dec 13, 2008
    Likes Received:
    They were great - made me laugh :D The games always cheer me up too ;)
  5. dipdog

    dipdog PetForums VIP

    Jan 24, 2009
    Likes Received:
    lol cheered me up too x
  6. rona

    rona Guest

    Soo glad your back you nutter :D
  7. sandymaynard

    sandymaynard PetForums Senior

    Feb 21, 2009
    Likes Received:
    Yeap the nutter is back and seated in her favourite spot!:D
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