[metame]

do you think one is worth more than the other?

i dont mean like buying someone a bunch of flowers over thinking about buying bunch of flowers...

like what do you think makes a good/bad person?

if someone's actions are ok but they think really horrible thoughts all the time would that make them a good person or a bad person?

having trouble explaining what i mean here and i cant say exactly what started the original conversation off because it would most likely offend a hell of a lot of you...

but what are your opinions?

 

[Lavenderb]

Actions can be used to hide thoughts. How do you know if someone is thinking horrible thoughts?

 

[metame]

you know what your own thoughts are.

what if actions seem to contradict thoughts - which is the stronger of the two?

 

[rona]

Depends on what actions and what thoughts.

Not a question that can easily be answered without more detail

 

[metame]

i cant give ore detail, ive already said that.

and it can, it can be 'in general'
EVERYTHING has an 'in general'

 

[rona]

I couldn't answer that in general, far to indepth a question and dangerous to make assumptions on

 

[skip]

I've had some terrible thoughts about people but they nearly killed my husband that doesn't make me a bad person if I had acted on those thoughts then that would have been different

 

[metame]

i think thoughts are accountable as much as for actions, i mean at least in your case there was a reason for them.

 

[NaomiM]

I agree with Skip. Someone with OCD, for example, will have thoughts about doing all sorts of terrible things, and because they're appalled by those thoughts they can start obsessing over why they are having them, which of course means that as they're thinking about them they then end up having more 'bad' thoughts, and it ends up as a vicious cycle... that doesn't make them a bad person. They would only be a bad person if they acted on those thoughts, which of course they wouldn't because they're appalled by them.

As an example... I'm sitting by the window in a 2nd-floor flat right now. Maybe the thought flashes through my mind, "What would happen if I were to throw myself out of that window?" Now, as I don't have OCD, I dismiss the thought as soon as I think it, and forget it almost immediately. However, if I had OCD, I would then think, "Why did I think that? Am I suicidal? Or am I losing my mind? Why am I thinking of throwing myself out of the window?" and so on and so forth, until they end up convincing themselves that they're seriously considering throwing themselves out of the window because it's on their mind so much.

 

[metame]

what if the only reason people didnt act on certain actions was nothing to do with not wanting to act on the actions but on something else?

 

[skip]

what if the only reason people didnt act on certain actions was nothing to do with not wanting to act on the actions but on something else?

Do you mean because of the repercussions?

 

[metame]

Do you mean because of the repercussions?

yeah i guess.
or another reason you couldnt physically carry them out as well

 

[skip]

yeah i guess.
or another reason you couldnt physically carry them out as well

Well when I saw victim support after what happened to my husband and told them about my thoughts I was told I was reacting to what had happened and it was a normal reaction she wasn't worried as it was a process I had to go through and i knew my thoughts would be wrong to put into action,however she said she would have been very worried if I had thought that my thoughts were normal because then there would have been the possibility I would try to carry them out
Does that make sense

 

[metame]

yes but what if they weren't a reaction?

 

[skip]

If they're not a reaction then there may be a problem

 

[metame]

i just refer to my original question for discussion

 

[x PIXIE x]

I think actions are better. Its all very well saying nice things to people by text or thinking nice things but if you don't say them in person or don't mean them then whats the point? i know a couple of people who say what they want via text to make you feel better but in person make you feel crap because either they live a life of lies and couldnt really give a damn or are just rude.

 

[jenniferx]

I think there is light and shade in all of us and at any one time we fall somewhere along a spectrum.

 

[skip]

i just refer to my original question for discussion

Its hard to answer your original post because it depends on circumstances, and as you said you can't say more

 

[myshkin]

I like Kant's goodwill idea: a good will is one which acts according to what they know is right, regardless of what that person may feel. Someone who wants to do wrong, but does right because of their moral compass, is actually a better person in a way than someone who naturally wants to do the right thing, for whatever reason (I think, it was a long time ago I was reading Kant!).
So I'd probably say actions are more important, especially if a person felt like doing different.