THE COMPLAINT: Recently I purchased and installed Chesapeake Bay Retriever 1.0. I soon noticed that this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Play 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run Frisbee 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Wantmyownway 8.5 and Knucklehead 2.2, however they auto-installed with Chesapeake Bay Retriever 1.0. Applications such as Alone 2.7 and Couch Potato 10.1 can no longer run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Chesapeake Bay Retriever 1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with folders added such as "Vet Bills", "Hunting Lessons", "Entry Fees" and "Carpet Cleaning". Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me that one of two bugs, Boredom 6.5 or Destruction 5.9 will occur unless I purchase additional modules such as SecondDog or a Housewithalake. I have tried to uninstall Chesapeake Bay Retriever 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!! THE REPLY: Dear User, Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Chesapeake Bay Retriever 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything! A warning will soon be imprinted on the box. Since you have already installed Chesapeake Bay Retriever 1.0, here are a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by the application Play 7.1, there is a chance that running C:\SecondDog might help. However, this will cause another folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "ExpensesX2". A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Play 7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "Obnoxious 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer of Obnoxious 4.2 is by running Play 7.1 continuously for several hours. Finally, it is important that you run C:\RubBelly and C:\ScratchEars on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number. Sincerely, Tech Support PS - If you're feeling adventurous, you can run any of the following from your hard drive: C:\CBRRescue, C:\ClubVolunteer, C:\CBRBreeder 2.0 Please be aware, though, that running any of these programs will automatically cause "CrazyDogPerson" to be appended to your website and e-mail addresses.