Welcome to PetForums

Join thousands of other pet owners and pet lovers on the UK's most popular and friendly pet community and discussion forum.

Sign Up

Thanks For 2007's Emails

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by tilli121, Jan 22, 2008.

  1. tilli121

    tilli121 PetForums Junior

    Jan 10, 2008
    Likes Received:
    thought you might like this.........
    my sister in law sends me emails now and again that give me a giggle, thought i'd share.........

    Subject: Thanks for 2007 E-Mails

    Dear All :

    My thanks to all of you who have sent me emails this
    past year....the following I believe sums them up
    quite well. .

    Thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in
    the glue on envelopes, because I now use a wet towel
    with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now
    scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
    sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (again).
    I no longer have any money at all, but that will
    change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill
    Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
    participating in their special e-mail program ...

    ...Or from the Senior Bank Clerk in Nigeria who wants
    to split $7M with me - - if I'll send him a cashier's
    check for only $500.00 and pretend to be a long, lost
    relative of a bank customer who died intestate.

    I no longer worry about my soul. I have THOUSANDS of
    angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena
    has granted my every wish. Thanks to you, I have
    learned that prayers are answered if I forward e-mail
    to my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

    I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though
    I smell like a water buffalo having a REALLY bad day.

    And while it is the official State Beverage of
    Georgia, I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it
    removes toilet stains and disintegrates stainless
    steel nails.

    I no longer can buy gas without taking a friend along
    to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my
    back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go to
    shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
    perfume sample and rob me.

    I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
    me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill
    with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and

    Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine
    because a big brown African spider is lurking under
    the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my

    And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up
    the $5 I found in the parking lot because it probably
    was placed there by a thug waiting underneath my car.

    If you don't send this e-mail to at least 4 people in
    the next 7 minutes, a large, white dove with diarrhea
    will land on your head at 5:00 pm TODAY -- and the
    fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing
    you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur
    because it actually happened to a friend of my next
    door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
    cousin's beautician.

    By the way.... after a lengthy study, a South African
    scientist has discovered that people with low IQ's who
    have infrequent sexual activity always read their
    e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't
    bother taking it off now, it's too late
  2. bullbreeds

    bullbreeds PetForums VIP

    Jan 14, 2008
    Likes Received:
  3. Vixie

    Vixie PetForums VIP

    Nov 17, 2007
    Likes Received:
    hee hee :)
  4. carol

    carol PetForums VIP

    Nov 2, 2007
    Likes Received:
    hehehe very good :) :)
  5. colliemerles

    colliemerles PetForums VIP

    Nov 2, 2007
    Likes Received:
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice