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Thanks For 2007's Emails

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by tilli121, Jan 22, 2008.


  1. tilli121

    tilli121 PetForums Junior

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    thought you might like this.........
    my sister in law sends me emails now and again that give me a giggle, thought i'd share.........


    Subject: Thanks for 2007 E-Mails

    Dear All :

    My thanks to all of you who have sent me emails this
    past year....the following I believe sums them up
    quite well. .

    Thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in
    the glue on envelopes, because I now use a wet towel
    with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now
    scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
    sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (again).
    I no longer have any money at all, but that will
    change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill
    Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
    participating in their special e-mail program ...

    ...Or from the Senior Bank Clerk in Nigeria who wants
    to split $7M with me - - if I'll send him a cashier's
    check for only $500.00 and pretend to be a long, lost
    relative of a bank customer who died intestate.

    I no longer worry about my soul. I have THOUSANDS of
    angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena
    has granted my every wish. Thanks to you, I have
    learned that prayers are answered if I forward e-mail
    to my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

    I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though
    I smell like a water buffalo having a REALLY bad day.


    And while it is the official State Beverage of
    Georgia, I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it
    removes toilet stains and disintegrates stainless
    steel nails.

    I no longer can buy gas without taking a friend along
    to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my
    back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go to
    shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
    perfume sample and rob me.

    I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
    me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill
    with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and
    Uzbekistan.

    Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine
    because a big brown African spider is lurking under
    the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my
    bum.

    And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up
    the $5 I found in the parking lot because it probably
    was placed there by a thug waiting underneath my car.


    If you don't send this e-mail to at least 4 people in
    the next 7 minutes, a large, white dove with diarrhea
    will land on your head at 5:00 pm TODAY -- and the
    fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing
    you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur
    because it actually happened to a friend of my next
    door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
    cousin's beautician.

    By the way.... after a lengthy study, a South African
    scientist has discovered that people with low IQ's who
    have infrequent sexual activity always read their
    e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't
    bother taking it off now, it's too late
     
  2. bullbreeds

    bullbreeds PetForums VIP

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    ..............:d:d:d
     
  3. Vixie

    Vixie PetForums VIP

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    hee hee :)
     
  4. carol

    carol PetForums VIP

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    hehehe very good :) :)
     
  5. colliemerles

    colliemerles PetForums VIP

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    :D:D..............................
     
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