Made the decision to put down my (almost) 16-year-old cat 5 days ago. Wondering if I made the right decision and struggling dealing with guilt and grief. My cat Lola had been really lethargic a week before the vet visit, but I’d put it down to old age. She’d also lost a lot of weight, she was painfully thin. We’d changed her diet a couple months before and it worked for a while - she gained weight again and was doing well. But within that week of her being lethargic she lost all the weight she’d gained - it was a really fast transition. She’d also started hiding from us - curling up in tight corners in the bathroom or sleeping outside, but when I did find her she wouldn’t leave me alone. Then one night she suddenly couldn’t lift her head - her chin was on her chest - when she walked. Her steps were all over the place and her shoulder blades were fastened together. I was worried and waited to see how she was the next day. There were no improvements and she staggered more. I was really upset. I figured this was probably the end for her - she’d already started isolating herself so she must’ve known, too. I’d been in uni all day so as soon as I got home I rang the vet (around 4pm) and explained her symptoms and that I was considering putting her down. Recently my vet had been really busy so I figured they’d tell me to come in within a couple days, but I was told there had been a cancellation and that I could come in at 6:30 that night. I know it’s selfish - prolonging Lola’s pain is awful - but having only two more hours with her was horrible. It was all such a massive shock. I immediately starting bawling. I would never had thought the morning before that I’d have to put Lola down the next day, and not have been able to spend the day with her either. Her deterioration was so quick. We spent the last two hours in my room together. The car ride sucked. She was so anxious, and she hates being at the vet. The worst part was that she started to lift her head - she was looking wildly around. I was sure I’d gotten it wrong and she was fine. I expressed this to the vet who said it could be the adrenaline, and then told me Lola had renal failure. She said that we could get her blood tests and put her on fluids but that it was more than likely we’d end up back at square one, and that if I was thinking of putting her down, she’d agree. The whole time Lola couldn’t stand up, laid on her side on the table which is unlike her at the vet. It was so horrible but I decided to put her to sleep. The way she had been walking and moving since the night before looked so painful and she was so thin. She was so tired that she didn’t need a sedative, and was gone so fast. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and I can’t get the image of her leaving me out of my head. I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking about how she was lifting her head in the car on the way to the vet, and maybe if I’d left it another day (which would’ve meant I could’ve stayed with her a little longer) she could’ve gotten better. Even when she could barely walk she was still so happy to see me and would practically run over to greet me. It was so sudden, all of it. Even now I can’t get over that she’s gone - she was practically my shadow, she followed me everywhere and would sit as close to me as she could no matter what I was doing. I can’t sit in the kitchen or my room without it feeling empty, or thinking I’m gonna turn around and she’ll be there, but she’s not. And that was my decision - to take her away. I feel like I’ve lost part of myself - I’ve had her since I was 4. She was a constant in my life and it is gut-wrenching knowing she’s not in it anymore. I can’t get over the guilt and the grief. What if I made a horrible decision - what if she could’ve actually been okay, and pulled through? And I only got to spend two hours with her before she left. She didn’t have the last perfect day so many pets get to have, and the drive to the vet must’ve made her so anxious, those being some of her final moments. The fact that she had no idea those were her final moments - she seemed so content to just be with me in my room in those last couple of hours. I miss her so much. I hope I made the right decision. If anyone else has had a similar experience please tell me, and how to get over this guilt and grief and wondering if I did the right thing. Thank-you.