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struggling to cope with my cats death

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by franc, Nov 7, 2012.


  1. franc

    franc PetForums Newbie

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    I waited till I was 35 to get a cat even though I wanted one for years, I found a little balck kitten and called her mimi.
    Im single so it was just the 2 of us and she became everything to me.
    she would be around 20 months old now but yesterday I found her unrecognisable corpse in the road.
    She was with me purring just an hour or so earlier.
    She had been hit by a truck.
    The depth of how much it has effected me is substantial.
    I have had only 1 smallish meal since monday. Its now wednesday and I dont feel like eating.
    Im really depressed.
    We had such a good relationship.
    Im hoping this passes as its not going to help me in life as I have no desire to do anything at the moment.
    I dont feel stupid but I do feel like im weak and terribly tooled for dealing with things.
    Hopefully there a successfully attached picture of her.
    Now I have to get used to being alone again.
    She was barely an adult cat.
    all replies welcome especially those who know what I can expect over the next weeks or months...
     

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  2. skip

    skip PetForums VIP

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    Im so sorry for your loss. The picture of Mimi is lovely. It takes time as with any loss to come to terms with what has happened and its different for everyone,its very early days,your pain will ease (((hugs)))
     
  3. IloveMySpaniels

    IloveMySpaniels PetForums Newbie

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    I'm sorry to hear about your loss :( I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you to find. It's very understandable that your feeling so depressed. It's hard enough losing a pet when their old and you know it's time for them to go. it must be so much worse to lose a pet so suddenly and such a young age. I don't think it makes you weak. Anyone would be the same. Naturally it will take a while longer to get over something like this, but I think it will get easier in time. Try not to let it put you of doing stuff you normal do because its doing the normal day to day stuff that will help stop thinking about it and make it easier to cope with. Don't let it put you off having more pets in the future x
     
  4. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

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    I am so, so sorry for your loss. She looked so pretty, and was so young, and should have been with you for many years yet.

    Sometimes it seems that outr pets are only meant to be with us for a short time - who knows why, so I hope that somehow, your loss will lead you down a different path.

    For now, it's such early days. You have lost someone very precious to you, and of course you will grieve. We understand.

    Grief is different for everybody. As said previously, it can help to get up and get on with the day to day stuff, even if you don't feel like it. That helps you get through, and it doesn't mean you don't care. Just take each day at a time.

    Expect to feel immense loss - expect to feel guilt - expect to feel angry - expect to wake up, then have that sudden realisation and remembering of what has happened. That is all normal.

    Do come on here, to share your memories and feelings. Many of us have been through something similar. There are also pet bereavement services that can help you, if you are struggling.

    When you are ready, you can share some happy memories with us. That way, your kitten cat will live on.

    Some people create a memory box - collar, favourite toy, photos, memories - too hard ot do right now, but helpful if you worry about forgetting - don't worry, by the way, you won't.

    Some people find ways to commemorate their pet - planting daffodils, a plant, making a donation to an animal charity ..... whatever seems right.

    Another way, is to volunteer at an animal rescue, helping other cats in memory of your own - perhaps just sitting in with the lonely ones to help socialise them.

    And of course, when the time is right, many people go on and get another pet. The loss of a pet is immense, but the rewards are greater. Perhaps in the not too distant future, you will able to share your home with another kitten or cat - or maybe two. They won't replace your lost one, but they would be new friends to share your life with.

    Hope this helps just a tiny little bit.

    Sending you hugs.
     
    Ozan likes this.
  5. franc

    franc PetForums Newbie

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    thanks for the replies..
    I like that you all said she looked like a lovely cat.
    She really was beautiful.
    She even on occasion liked to get into bed with me under the covers and id wake up next to her as if she was a person.
    I knew she liked to go and explore a lot and she got frustrated if she spend too long without going outside and I wanted her to be a happy cat so she had her cat flap and came and went when she pleased.
    I knew there was a risk but freedom was important to her and she told me how happy she was all the time.
    It wouldnt surprise me if she was rolling around in the road trying to get some dust into her fur..
    I noticed she started to do that as a kitten on the concrete patio. she used to love it.
     
  6. Dynomutt

    Dynomutt PetForums Newbie

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    I'm sure your Mimi was very very happy and thankful for the life you have given her and the lovely friendship that you shared.
    I also think that what happened was very sudden, and it's likely she knew nothing about it.
    I'm very sorry for your loss, sending love your way.
     
  7. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

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    Don't for a minute feel any guilt about letting her out - some cats are happy living inside, but others NEED to be out exploring. You did right.

    I am sure that she had a really happy life with you. One day, far away, you will be reunited. For now, go forward knowing that you loved her and she loved you.

    You still have more love to give - maybe not right now - you need to grieve - but don't close the door on other pets in the future.
     
  8. Dynomutt

    Dynomutt PetForums Newbie

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    I agree with summersky, you don't have to be alone, every pet is special in it's own way, so maybe when the time is right.
    Though i don't mean to cause offense, because i know that every pet is also irreplacable.
    You should be very proud of yourself for having been such a caring and loving cat owner, i wish for every owner to have such a friendship with their pets.
     
  9. jill3

    jill3 PetForums VIP

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    I am so sorry for your loss of Mimi. What a lovely little cat.
    Summersky has covered quite a lot of what I want to say.
    Having also lost this year I know how heart breaking this is. If you have friends and family try and talk to them and tell them how you are feeling.
    Everyone is different in grief and I found it's best not to bottle it up. If you need to cry then cry. It's best to try and keep busy and eat a little something.
    Mimi would not want you to get poorly because you have not eaten or slept well.
    Please like others have said don't let this put you off from having another little one share your life. Mimi had a lovely life with you and she would not want you to be lonely.
    Please try and keep in touch on here and let us know how you are. We are all here to help you and a lot of us on here know what you are going through.

    R.I.P Mimi and run free at Rainbow Bridge xx
     
  10. Colliebarmy

    Colliebarmy PetForums VIP

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    Mum I'm here at the rainbow bridge
    Ill wait for you to get here
    Im playing with so many more
    for me you need not fear

    I caught a mouse but let it go
    it seemed so scared of me
    the sun is warm upon my back
    so i lay beneath a tree

    dont cry too long no need for that
    I had a lovely life
    and thanks again for having me
    now smile, and banish strife
     
  11. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

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    Dear Franc,

    It can't take the hurt away, but I hope it helps just a little to know that we are here and we care.

    Try and drink and eat a little more today - your precious Mimi will be watching over you and would want you to.

    This awful pain will ease.
     
  12. Knightofalbion

    Knightofalbion PetForums VIP

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    What a fine post. So kind and thoughtful. You're a credit to the forum, dear Summersky.
     
  13. Knightofalbion

    Knightofalbion PetForums VIP

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    My heart goes out to you, dear Franc.

    I certainly don't think you're "weak", on the contrary I find it very touching to see, as clearly is the case, how much you loved your beautiful Mimi. And I'm sure she loved you the same in return.

    It does get better, give it time.

    Animals come into our lives, sometimes for a short time, sometimes for a longer time, but either way it's a blessing.
    Remember her with a happy smile and a happy heart.

    Animals have souls just as we do. Beloved pets survive death, just as our human loved ones do. You've not seen the last of her!
    Indeed, you may feel her presence around the flat for a time.

    Try to keep your spirits up and eat properly. When you feel the time is right, get a new cat. There are so many out there in search of a happy, loving home with a good, kind person just like you...
     
  14. franc

    franc PetForums Newbie

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    thanks for all the replies..
    theres nothing else to say..
    I just need time..
    It was only yesterday morning we were cuddling last but it already seems like the relationship was all a dream..
    thanks all!
     
  15. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

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    Take good care of yourself franc.

    You are right - you need time, and it will all feel unreal for a while. But remember, what you had together was precious and real. Mimi will leave a massive gap, but you WILL come through, and life will get better.

    come back to us if you need to talk. XX
     
  16. jopetportraits

    jopetportraits PetForums VIP

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    This has made me cry as I lost my eldest cat in August so know exactly how you are feeling and am very sorry that you have lost Mimi. She was a beautiful cat. It does take time to get over the loss of your furry friend. Thinking about you.
     
  17. Knightofalbion

    Knightofalbion PetForums VIP

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    One crumb of comfort from all this is that it would have been instantaenous. She wouldn't have suffered.
     
  18. MrsLen

    MrsLen PetForums Junior

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    I couldn't agree more.
     
  19. MrsLen

    MrsLen PetForums Junior

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    I can only echo what everyone else on here has said. I'm so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Mimi. Losing a pet is not asy under any circumstances. You can expect to feel a whole range of emotions in the next few days, weeks and months and you will find that everyone on here understands how you feel. Take care.
    x
     
  20. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

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    This is where good can come out of sad and bad - our experiences help us understand and support others. Take care MrsLen, I hope things are beginnig to get easier for you too.
     
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