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Husband's left, wants to split cats. Don't think it's fair, need advice. Lived in home 11yrs, I've bought him out & will be staying here. We've 4 cats: moggy Mitzi 15; Norwegian Forest Tomas 11; Siamese Milo 5 & Siamese Illy 2. I bought Milo with inheritance from my dad & also as keepsake as he loved animals, we then bought 2nd Siamese as companion for older one. My husband really wants to take both but then settled for taking 1 & Mitzi. I think it's unfair & that they should all remain together in the home that they know & love. Don't think he has their best interests at heart as he has no real desire to take older cats. Mitzi won't be around forever which will leave Milo on his own. I've tried to explain to him that Siamese cats need company, if not human then other cats, preferably Siamese/Orientals. When he called today I told him they shouldn't be split & he said that he would take both Siamese and I could keep older cats and buy 2 Siamese kittens! Please advise.
 

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Welcome to the forum.
I'm sorry that you are in such difficult circumstances :( I have to agree that the cats would be better off staying together. Your older ones may be upset by the move and loss of their companions and I agree that Siamese do generally like the company of others. As you bought your first Siamese in memory of your father I don't think it's fair of your OH to want to take him :(
 
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It would be very disruptive and stressful to the cats, to leave their happy home and cat family. Even if I adored them, if I knew they would continue the same care, I would give up my claim for their happiness. It sounds extremely selfish and self indulgent of him, with no thought of the cats happiness. THere are no kitten/cat shortages, anywhere in EUROPE.

The other possibility is that he sees this claim as the way to truly distress you, the one power he has to put pressure on you, possibly to use them to negotiate what he ACTUALLY wants - which may BE your feeling of distress and powerlessness and fear.

NOT impressed with him, however he thinks. Even best case scenario, he's willing to distress the cats for his own gratification.
 

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Let him take you to court - that will show how much he really wants them :mad:

If he can 'choose' which cats he wants, he doesnt care that much for any of them - there is no way I could choose between mine!

If he really does have the cats best interests at heart, he will leave them where they are and where they are happy and settled.

If he does pay to take you to court, he will have no claim on the one you bought from your dads inheritance, in his honour - would love to see him explain his claim for that one to a judge.
 

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I feel for you so much. I realise this won’t be much help but I promise it is good advice. I've left relationships where I had to leave my beloved dog behind and also where I kept my cat.

There's no option to split your cats to me, based on what you have said. The options IMO are:

1)Keep all of your cats. Keep them in, change the locks, be strong, very strong. Be prepared to argue and go through much pain, mental effort and strife to keep them. You are giving him power by doing this and it will give him an excuse to argue with you and make you feel bad.

2) Take his power away and hand over all the cats to him, this takes all the fight out of the situation, you will feel very sad but I promise you will heal. It doesn't sound like you are concerned about how well he will treat your cats more that he wants to split them.

If he will give them a good home, you will get the power by preventing the storm. You will hurt for your pets, but this may be much less pain than going through the arguments (and possibly danger?) for you option 1 may cause. Believe me, there is no shame in taking this option if your cats will be safe with him. I promise you will feel better about it in time.

Above all, please make sure you let a good friend/s or your family know about your predicament for support. Hope this helps.
 

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Hi jobrfc:) If all your cats get on with each other then I think it would be a shame to split them. 4 cats who live happily together is a scenario to be treasured and preserved, as in my experience it is not always the way things are in multi-cat households.

If your ex really loves the cats he would leave them right where they are instead of disrupting them, and would instead go to the nearest Shelter and give a couple of lovely cats a much needed home with him.
 

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what a complete A***..... your ex is! :mad: How can he expect you to choose between your 4 cats!! :confused: tell him you will keep all the cats in the house you have bought out and HE can go and get the two Siamese kittens!
 

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If my husband and I split, he would be taking my pets over my dead body. He would have to take me to court and I would fight him tooth and nail either that or I would make him a bed underneath the patio.
 

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If my husband and I split, he would be taking my pets over my dead body. He would have to take me to court and I would fight him tooth and nail either that or I would make him a bed underneath the patio.
This is a really old thread & I don't think the new posters question involves a relationship ending - more that they're not sure they want 2 kittens!

OP as suggested above, its best to start a new thread of your own so as not to cause confusion :)
 
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