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Soooo annoyed with myself

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Indie, Jul 28, 2009.


  1. Indie

    Indie PetForums VIP

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    My 17 year old moved out 6 weeks ago, her choice. She only moved nxt door but i am finding it pretty hard to see her going there and sharing things with Sam instead of me. She only ever comes round when she wants summat and never just to say hi. She constantly ignores me when i am in the garden and only speaks to her dad. Over the past couple of weeks she's been leaving very sarcastic comments on her status on FB that were obviously left for me. I have been sooo good and kept my cool, she came round today to winge again and i lost my rag i am so flipin annoyed with myself i didn't want her to see things are getting to me.
     
  2. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Aww hun what a terrible situation to be in :( I assume you two had a falling out before she moved out?
     
  3. Acacia86

    Acacia86 PetForums VIP

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    Oh what a situation! **hugs** for you.

    I am sure it will work out in the end, prehaps you could both arrange to sit down together alone and try to work through it?

    xx
     
  4. SemolinaPilchard

    SemolinaPilchard PetForums Member

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    Dont be so hard on yourself after all she's your daughter and she's hurting you emotionally...there's only so much a person can take before they eventually explode :(
     
  5. Indie

    Indie PetForums VIP

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    yes it's been brewing for a while before she moved out she didn't like the rules that are set down for them. Worse thing is she nagged and nagged me all the time to go out at night up town wandering around in the dark and i wouldn't let her as things have happened in this town lately it's not safe. Since she's been at Sam's she never goes out. We have tried having a chat and i have told her how i feel about her etc but at the moment she doesn't care about anything apart from her mates. I am paying Sam money for her at the moment but come September that will change as i'm not getting anything for her then, so she has been told she will have to pay her own way and get a job but she can't be bothered.
     
  6. thedogsmother

    thedogsmother PetForums VIP

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    My friends 17 yo daughter moved out last year (or someone would have killed someone) and she was so angry with her mum for asking her to leave, a year on (and less hormones) and she is so much more mature and a lovely young lady, and her mum and her have their relationship back. Don't despair but I would avoid her FB as she is obviously trying to bait you into an argument.
     
  7. bird

    bird PetForums VIP

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    Shes still young and living without parents rules are still new and exciting she can be a slob and you're not there to tell her otherwise. Try to shrug your shoulders she'll be back at some point and not just because she wants something. Deep breaths hon it will get better, coz been there done that and got t-shirt medal and dvd :rolleyes: and I know it hurts like hell at the time.
     
  8. Indie

    Indie PetForums VIP

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    Yes that's why i refused to get annoyed and why i'm annoyed with myself for exploding.
     
  9. Classyellie

    Classyellie PetForums VIP

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    {{{hugs}}} I'm sure everything will work out in the end hunni. My daughter is now 21 and we're best friends but at 16/17 she was a mass of hormones and we had some right run-ins! I know it's hurting now but try not to let it get to you too much - it will get better!

    Ellie x
     
  10. SeaThreePeeO

    SeaThreePeeO PetForums VIP

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    I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. She's a teenager and they are genectically programmed to only really thing about themselves (sort of like another toddlerhood), they also know everything and are always right. She has probably moved out to prove this to you.

    What you really need to do is basically ignore her. For example if she teels you she's going out, don't ask with whom or where, act completely disinterested. Say something like, 'that's nice,' or 'have a good time.'

    This will throw her completely off and then she will start talking to you more and more to gain a reaction. You really need to let her experience what it is like to be an adult and not have her mum 'there.' She'll soon realise life on the outside isn't as great as they make out it is and she'll change.

    This worked for my mother and my brother. He wouldn't speak to her or tell her anything that he was upto. As soon as my mother became uninterested my brother started telling her the ins and outs of everything he was doing. Now she wishes she could shut him up! :D
     
  11. Indie

    Indie PetForums VIP

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    lol she doesn't come round and tell me anything now. TBH i don't even no what she is doing at college nxt year.
     
  12. sandymaynard

    sandymaynard PetForums Senior

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    Oh i feel for you!
    I often had fallings in and out with my mum! Bless her now that she has gone!
    i didnot live at home until i was 12 as i lived with grandparents! But i got close to my mum after that!
    She will come around, A girl only gets one mum! She will come home to you!
    Did you two fallout?
    Don't be hard on yourself! She is a teenager! Girls sometimes get like that!
    I can assure you the minute she gets too upset she will come home running to her mum!
    When i used to have a arguement or fallout with my mum!
    I would ring her to hear and voice and say nothing at all!
    All i would hear, was sandy i know it is you, i can hear you wheezing, have you used your inhalers today! You know mum loves you! Before i would put the phone down i used to say love you too mum!
    Bless her i always made it up with her! I would ring and say are you busy mum! Or spend 10 minutes just crying on the phone! She always made me feel better!
    Just give her time, she more than likely thinks i can cope by myself, she is only next door, she has not moved far away from you!
    sandy
     
  13. SeaThreePeeO

    SeaThreePeeO PetForums VIP

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    Trust me, leave her to it and she'll soon start talking to you again. But the trick is to seem like you don't care what she's up to anymore. If youre no longer reacting to her giving you nothing she'll start telling you stuff to get a reaction.

    Yuo've obviously brought up a bright young lady, so it is unlikely that she is going to get herself into terrible trouble. But you need to allow her to spread her wings and make mistakes. She needs to find out for herself that you have her best interests at heart. But she need to expereince it at first.

    As a young teenager I thought my mum was out to ruin my life for me, so I went out in the big wide world. Suddenly it was down to me to make sure bills were paid and that I had enough food or could heat my home. It soon put things in perpective for me.

    Remember only four more years until the teenage bit is over with :D
     
  14. Indie

    Indie PetForums VIP

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    lol i'm in tears that post is lovely i wish she would tell me she loves me. She's only next door but it is harder for me than it would be if she was living somewhere else. We used to be so close and 2 years ago she got arrested i never thought she would do what she did. She then decided to run away 3 times the 3rd time i had to fill in a missing persons report giving the police a picture of her and they were just about to get the helicopter out when one of her friends rang the police. I didn't sleep a wink that night and felt sick to the pit of my stomach.
     
  15. Indie

    Indie PetForums VIP

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    I didn't do that good of a job she has a criminal record till she's 21.
     
  16. SeaThreePeeO

    SeaThreePeeO PetForums VIP

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    But is that really really bad? We all make mistakes in our lives. There have been things I have done in my past that I am not proud of because I was young and stupid and trying to keep in with people I thought were my friends.

    Please remember that she's doing these things to hurt you because deep down she does love you. She'll come round, all you have to do is just be there for when she does.

    I know its hard. I put my mother through hell. But we're back to having a good relationship. I may have made mistakes along the way because I thought I knew it all, but in all it taught me a valuable lesson. That there are other people in the world and how to see something from someone else's point of view.

    Shame it took me being a complete bitch for 4 years to learn it
     
  17. LKelly

    LKelly PetForums Junior

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    Hiya, I had the same situation with my dad a while ago. I'm 27 and just recently moved back to my dads and it was really hard work for both of us. We have managed to sort things out by just agreeing to lead our own lives but still live under the same roof. So far things are working out for the better as I realised he just cares for me, probably too much :)

    I hope you manage to get things sorted, I'm sure you will :smilewinkgrin:

    xxx
     
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