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Someone cheer me up or give me some advice or criticism i don't care which so long as

Discussion in 'Dog Training and Behaviour' started by ad_1980, Jul 3, 2009.


  1. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    i know i havent' done anything totally wrong

    Ok you all know about my past problems with constant arguments about me, my sister and mika - for those that don't, catch up on these threads

    http://www.petforums.co.uk/dog-chat...i-have-now-decided-not-bond-mika-anymore.html

    http://www.petforums.co.uk/dog-chat/39177-maybe-all-my-fault.html

    I am pleased to inform you all the arguements have stopped and in a way i am happy to announce that mika goes to practically everyone now.

    Now here's where the problem comes in - i think Mika has lost trust in me and i don't know what i've done wrong. I know i haven't done anything wrong and i don't understand why this is happening because i do everything for him -i feed him, i brush him, i clean his eyes and i take him out.

    Heres an example of why i feel he doesn't trust me anymore - When i call him he doesn't come running happily, instead he comes with his bum to the floor as if he's scared of me. He doesn't sit on my lap anymore but sits on everyone else's lap - now i don't mind sharing him i'm not being my sister and getting upset that he is not on my lap, but i wonder why he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

    He does follow me around the house and will sit near me but he doesn't sit with me.

    My mum thinks its because he's getting his independence now, at 7 months of age but i feel he doesn't trust me and i don't know why.

    I want to make it clear that I HAVENT' DONE ANYTHING to him before anyone asks 'what did i do?'

    Advice someone? (I'm waiting for Goodvic to be all Dog Whisperey on me :p)
     
  2. Sleeping_Lion

    Sleeping_Lion Banned

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    I think the problem is you're thinking that Mika is thinking in human terms, far too much thinking going on, particularly for a Friday morning ;)

    I haven't read your past threads, I just spotted the title of this one, and wanted to help if I could :) The best thing you can do for any dog is treat them just as that, and learn to understand them. From your post where you say you want to make it clear to Mika that you haven't done anything, dogs don't understand concepts like this, so Mika won't understand, you just have to get on with treating Mika as normal. It might be if there has been a bit of tension between you and your sister that he's picked up on this, he'll come round given time and patience.

    And I'm glad the arguments with your sister have stopped :D
     
  3. Badger's Mum

    Badger's Mum PetForums VIP

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    your mum's right;). Mum's alway's no best:D:D
     
  4. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    I haven't read your past threads, I just spotted the title of this one, and wanted to help if I could :) The best thing you can do for any dog is treat them just as that, and learn to understand them. From your post where you say you want to make it clear to Mika that you haven't done anything, dogs don't understand concepts like this, so Mika won't understand, you just have to get on with treating Mika as normal. It might be if there has been a bit of tension between you and your sister that he's picked up on this, he'll come round given time and patience. [/quote]

    not to mika! to you all! i wanted to make it clear i haven't done anything wrong to my dog!



    thank you so am i!
     
  5. goodvic2

    goodvic2 PetForums VIP

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    Actually, I don't think you've done anything wrong. On the contary, you seem to do exactly the right things, that I would find it hard pressed to be critical!

    I think you are taking it to personally, it is good that he is going to other people and is not dependant on you. This will make him far more social and therefore you will get less problems.

    When my dogs approach me, sometimes they come slowly, with their heads bowed low. This is not fear or anthing, it is a sign of respect. Othertimes they come bounding over.

    The most important thing, is not to deliberate on what you have done, but to carry on completely as normal. It is possible that you did something (in his eyes) at some point, which has put him on edge. But you don;t know what it is and even if you did, you can't change it. For now, be glad that you have made this pup, into a sociable dog and I know you have put in so much work. Don't dwell on this, because it is nothing. Whatever you are thinking and feeling, is conveyed to the dog, so the longer you dwell, the longer he will be like this.

    He is also spreading his wings, so you need to expect this.

    Chin up and be positive! You have done a great job!

    X

    Take
     
  6. swaff

    swaff PetForums Junior

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    don't worry it really doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong, just remember that dogs don't wake up in the morning trying to work out how to plot against you that day. They do however pick up on your own body language, even if you aren't aware that you are doing it they read body language so much better than we do.
    Our pup is 4 months now and my O/H is away traveling with work a lot at the moment so I'm naturally forming a closer bound with pup, however when he does come home and tries to call the dog he's already convinced he wont respond so even though his voice is nice and welcoming he's stood with his arms crossed or his shoulders slumped. of course the pup isn't going to want to run towards that :)
    also your mum is right if your pup is 7 months (i think u said) he's in his teenage years and just think what you were like at that age....... bet u didn't want to do everything that was asked of you.
    have patience
     
  7. Sleeping_Lion

    Sleeping_Lion Banned

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    not to mika! to you all! i wanted to make it clear i haven't done anything wrong to my dog!





    thank you so am i![/QUOTE]

    Aaahhhh, I get ya now!!!! I was reading your sentence a bit differently to how you meant it!!

    My girl Tau is an odd character, she's a real Mum's girl, generally wary of other people for no reason, and yet sometimes, out of the blue, she'll be all over a stranger. She'll usually have her head down when she greets, and depending on how well she knows people she'll either give a very quick nudge, or try and squirm herself pretty much inside your clothing!!! She won't go anywhere near my brother, mind you, I think she's got good taste there :D:D:D

    Indie on the other hand is all over everybody, she's a real meeter and greeter.

    They're just different characters, hopefully with a bit of time and patience Mika will come round with you, doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong at all to me.
     
  8. zozzen

    zozzen PetForums Junior

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    That's frustrating and i experienced this after I gave him a form of negative reinforcements in which i slapped the floor to make a big noise to him when he was naughty. His response was more or less the same as your dog to you. Even worse, when he acted like this, i became more pushy to him and wished (wishful thinking) that he would act better.

    After trial and error, only remedial efforts proved working. Always give him positive reinforcement, feed him by your hands, praise him crazily, walk him as much as you can, give him tricks and snacks anytime, give him a body massage, smile to him (he can understand your facial expression), talk to him like a girlfriend. It's a critical moment to rebuild trust, avoid any action that can be scary to him. That's a kinda cliches I know it, but among all information i read about raising a dog, my real life experience tells me huge volume of patience and EXCLUSIVELY positive reinforcement is really a golden rule.

    The remedial actions took me almost a month and he's happy with me again.
     
  9. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    Thanks vicky i was expecting some criticism from you but it turns out i got more than that ;) Thanks hon

     
  10. rona

    rona Guest

    Do you think that he could be seeing you as the boss, so doesn't take liberties with you now, like climbing on your lap etc?
    If it is this then it would show that the rest of the family are classed as equals and you are the top dog :D:D
    Just an idea, not saying it's right ;)
     
  11. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    Rona really he sees me as top dog? That makes me feel proud :) But i still want him on my lap and he doesn't sit with me on my lap lol! Oh well....so long as he loves me and trusts me i don't care so much.
     
  12. goodvic2

    goodvic2 PetForums VIP

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    I say it as I see it, no holds barred! x :D
     
  13. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    So i really really haven't done anything wrong right? Really?
     
  14. goodvic2

    goodvic2 PetForums VIP

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    It doesn't sound as though you have. Like somebody else said, maybe because he see's you as the boss, this is why he is not jumping etc. Definitely you have nothing to worry about x
     
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  15. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    Thanks vicky - although if he does see me as the boss - then why won't he sit still when i brush him? LOL!

    Oh well....you wanna check my bad boy thread in dog chat you'll probably burst out laughing a bit - not that its a funny matter. Just when i thought we'd got it. lol
     
  16. nerd of prey

    nerd of prey PetForums Junior

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    Maybe if you are feeling jealous of the attention he gives other people you could take up a hobby just the two of you? Something like mini agility or caniX could help strengthen your bond

    When I was little my parents border collie used to love my dad and ignore everyone else, but I made time to play with her in the garden every day and drag her round the block (If it wasn't my dad she would run home!) and eventually she started to seek me out for attention and she became better for everyon else too.

    If all else fails make sure you feed the dog then they will follow you round whenever they get hungry!
     
  17. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    I do all that. Not agililty because he's too young for it just now but i do walk him and everything. thanks.

    But no i'm not jealous, i was worried about trust issues he had but people here have assured me that's not the case.
     
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