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Social Phobia

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by mr.stitches, Aug 15, 2009.


  1. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    Hi All

    I wondered if anyone else suffered with this?

    Its been a bad week, and I didnt go out for a family meal with OH this week as all I could think of was being embarassed, being surrounded by people...Now he has family over, I said I didnt fancy going for a walk...the walk I would have liked, but the thought of probably going somewhere after for a drink or food just freaked me out. After hanging up, I realise that I could have gone, and now I feel awful.

    I think he is a bit miffed with me, as he sees it that I dont want to go out with him. Iv explained that I get shy, but he doesnt know how bad it can make me feel.

    I annoy myself as irational thinking takes over, and all I think about is what could happen in a situation to make me feel bad.

    Im not sure what to do:blushing:
     
  2. KarenHSmith

    KarenHSmith PetForums VIP

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    Aw, sorry to hear you've missed out. I know there are some phobias of crowds people can get.
     
  3. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    Crowds as such arent too bad, my main problem is blushing believe it or not! It makes me feel awful when I blush, so of course I try to avoid situations where I know I will blush.

    Its hard to explain to OH, as I dont want to say about the blushing thing as otherwise ill be concerned of him picking up on it.

    Nitemare really! But the whole things does get me down :(
     
  4. GSDlover4ever

    GSDlover4ever PetForums VIP

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    i can get like that sometimes.

    an example is that my bf has invited me along to his works night out which is in a pub, the reason why i don't want to go is that when their is a group of people and their all yappying, or if someone is talking and their is music playing people talking in the background - i can't hear a word the person is saying because of the background noise.

    i feel like an idiot asking them to repeat them selfs etc....
    i also feel really ignorant and i feel like people think that too.
    i can also feel uncomfortable with drunken people, especially when they start talking rubbish - more so if their is background noise - i'm just like "eh what are you talking about".
    i dont drink much either!


    my bf knows all of the above and he tries to help me a lot, by making sure he repeats what the person has said etc....

    so as a result i usually try and avoide it.


    however 2 weeks ago my bf's cousin was having a party - i had never met anybody their, i only new my bf. i wasn't planning on going. but in the end i did and i had an okay night - the people their were really nice.

    i think the best thing to do is tell your bf, if you don't tell him then he wont understand! :)
     
  5. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    Thanks GSD

    I just dont know how to explain it to him really, as I feel so silly! Looking back to earlier, I should have gone out and there was no reason why I didnt. I just panic.

    I dont want this to affect our relationship but I can see why he gets frustrated and upset by it.
     
  6. TabbyRoad

    TabbyRoad Banned

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    It's called social anxiety disorder and is a fully recognised condition. From what you describe you are nowhere near having a phobia.

    I suffered from it for years and am not 100% over it yet but life has improved enormously. It's the fear of the unknown and it's so common you would be shocked.

    I have been described by friends as extrememly sociable and very outgoing! To an extent I am but only through forcing myself to get out there and do it. I thought I was just shy and as it turns out I'm not at all. It's having the courage to put myself into those situations that the difficult part.

    PLEASE go see your GP and tell him/her what's going on. He will more than likely then make an appointement for you to see a psychologist. Don't be put off by that. A psychologist will help you understand why you are socially anxious. Mine went back to my teen years when I realised I was gay and withdrew from people in the fear they would find out. A friend I met online had hers start when a school "friend" asked her not to come to her 16th birthday party because she didn't want any fat people in the pictures.

    MY OH helped me through the worst parts. I would back out of going to parties or get togethers at the last minute but one day she made a deal with me. If I went and stayed for only 10 minutes we could go when ever I said. It turns out we were one of the last to leave and I had an amazing time.

    If blushing is a problem think back to the last time you saw someone blush and said "what a loser". I bet the answer is never. Blushing is seen by most people as endearingand if anything will encourage people to talk to you.

    Also, try Bachs Rescue Remedy. It really does help. In social situation the pastilles work best.

    You are not alone and as I said it is shockingly common.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. CharleyRogan

    CharleyRogan PetForums VIP

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    I think I have a phobia of people. I hate going out. I would much prefer to be on my own with my computers and my pets not to be bothered for days!

    My brother and dad have Autism and sometimes I think I might have it as I have a lot of trouble making new friends, like routine, and dislike people in general, and find it easier to socialise online, and sometimes I don't know whether people are being sarcastic.
     
  8. Jazzy

    Jazzy PetForums VIP

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    I know how you feel Charley because I'm much the same. I hate going out and much prefer to be in the house. I don't know why because I never used to be like this and used to love going out but not anymore.:nonod: I find things a lot harder to cope with now than I used to do too - everything seems like a big hurdle.:(
     
  9. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    I know now that I do have social phobia, but I can also be lazy which doesnt help. Im quite happy in my own company, love to read, watch telly, potter, clean......even though I do like to have a laugh with people too.

    Its a hard one to explain to people, but im glad im not the only one on here like this!
     
  10. TabbyRoad

    TabbyRoad Banned

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    I could have written that about me! I love having lazy days. I love my own company. Pottering is one of my favourite pastimes :D

    I'm always wary of people who MUST have people around them and who cannot stand being on their own. As my Dad used to say "if you can't stand your own company, how can you expect anyone else to".
     
  11. Jazzy

    Jazzy PetForums VIP

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    You sound exactly like me - I love it through the day when the kids are at school and college and its nice and quiet with no telly or anything. Was meant to be taking our youngest out tomorrow but we've no one to puppy sit as my eldest daughter has gone to spend a few days at her friends house and part of me is relieved I don't have to go now - how awful is that.:(
     
  12. barneythore

    barneythore PetForums Senior

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    i dont like going out and meeting people im not so bad if my sons or daughter is with me but i get embarrassed and find it hard to talk to people face to face thank goodness for forums:):)
     
  13. Ladywiccana

    Ladywiccana PetForums VIP

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    Same here huni, and what beggars disbelief for me is, that when i blush people tend to laugh and say oooohhhhhhh karens gone red and that pees me off then............


    Dont forget we now have our health sub forum guys :smilewinkgrin: :smilewinkgrin:
     
  14. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    Your same as me! I hate it when people comment on it, as they always think your guilty of something or embarassed..when most/all of the time i cant help it at all! Its the blushing im embarassed about, not the comment or whatever is going on!
     
  15. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    I know, forums are great. You can say so much, and even say things that you may never think you could say to someone in a face to face meeting.

    Its great also as you meet people who are like you, and they make you realise that your not alone, your not weird or stupid, you are in fact like everyone else!
     
  16. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    Its not awful of you at all, its the same as how I would feel.

    If there is an even coming up, I dread it for ages..always in the back of my head. But then if it gets cancelled, everyones like 'oh, what a shame' and im thinking ' hoo bloody rah!'

    So your not alone on that one! :D
     
  17. mr.stitches

    mr.stitches PetForums VIP

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    Your Dads quote is so very true. My Mum and I were talking about today, and she said its a great thing to enjoy your own company. Some people always have to be out, alway have to be around others. If you enjoy your company, you can never get too lonely!
     
  18. GSDlover4ever

    GSDlover4ever PetForums VIP

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    it sounds like you have aspergers syndrome!

    http://www.artzoo.com/health/autism.htm



    do you hate talking on the phone?
    when someone says a joke about you - do you take it seriously?
    do you collect thing or have an obbsession?
     
    #18 GSDlover4ever, Aug 15, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2009
  19. CharleyRogan

    CharleyRogan PetForums VIP

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    Yeah my brother and my dad both have it, so I have had a high possibility of having it! As do all my uncles so, yeah very possibly I do, oh and my nans brother!!!!!! Its all around me!

    I do get a bit obssesional, like when I got the hammys I wanted to know all about them, and so I did. The phone I don't mind that much if its someone I know or basic things like the doctors, but if its people I don't know then I just won't do it! Much prefer to text people!

    Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't get whether its a joke, but then, I'm sarcastic myself and quick witted, so I know that people can be decieving cos I can be like that and I can't trust people. I was bullied from year 1 till year 10 so that might have something to do with it, and when I was little I didn't walk till I was 19 months, and they took me to a developmental psychologist and 6 weeks later I was walking!

    I'm not overly intelligent though, well if I put my mind to it I can be. I'm really good at Maths and languages, don't know whether thats a sign!

    Just been reading bout it, it goes on about dyspraxia, my brother has it and i'm sure I have it, I'm am the clumsiest person in the world! I have had to stop driving because I couldn't get the idea of it. If I asked my friends for one trait of me, then it would be clumsiness!

    But to get a diagnosis as an adult is apparently difficult!
     
    #19 CharleyRogan, Aug 15, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2009
  20. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    I suffer from it too and my sister to a severe level suffers from agoraphobia :)
     
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