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So angry.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by JJAK, Mar 26, 2011.


  1. JJAK

    JJAK PetForums VIP

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    Iv been at work all day, OH has weekends off and 'usually' does something productive with them, wether it be taking the dogs on a humongous walk, cleaning up, or just doing a few bits and bobs.

    Recently hes turned into a bit of a prize prick, does NOTHING around the house. i mean NOTHING, he hasnt washed a single pot for around 2 weeks, hes walked the dogs once in this whole time AND then has the audacity to tell me that i do nothing!

    Anyways, today i finished work and rang him on my was home as per, something wasnt quite right about the phone convo so i said id speak to him when i got home.....

    upon walking through the door,
    Not only did i notice that f*ck all had been done, one of the dogs had poo'd in the living room and also that he didnt give them their breakfast

    BUT there are wine bottles, cider bottles and various alcopop bottles strewn around the house, OH is STEAMING, very red eyed, swaying, chatting general ******** and being abit of a nob.

    Im SO ANGRY. its one thing to have a few glasses of wine a night, but a completely different kettle of fish to sit at home on your own and get drunk.

    Oh, and now he decides itd be a good time to walk the dogs....i dont f*cking think so. so iv thrown him out for the evening and told him to come back when hes got a grip, remembers hes got a family & a house to care for and can handle/stop his drink.

    ...hes only 20...i can see a downward spiral beginning!
     
  2. Jackie99

    Jackie99 PetForums VIP

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    Well I can totally understand your upset at this, I think I would feel the same coming back to that.

    Everyone has their off days/lazy days etc etc, but it just does seem a bit much to leave the dogs to mess in the house and not just at least take them out for a short walk to allow to toilet.

    I think you may have done the right thing by giving him time to think his actions through, I guess he couldn't explain himself to much, the state he is currently in!!

    You say he is usually productive so could he be hiding something from you and that is why he has gotten drunk and cannot be bothered? Under stress about something for eg??

    Best of luck anyway!
     
  3. simplysardonic

    simplysardonic Moderator
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    I can't say I blame you, I'd be angry too
     
  4. JJAK

    JJAK PetForums VIP

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    No idea.
    Hes been 'off' for the last 2 weeks or so, hes just got a new job which he loves, his social life is on the up and usually he moulds his life around his dog so that she comes first, but recently he just cant be bothered with her.

    hmmm, i dunno. We shall have to wait and see!
     
  5. metaldog

    metaldog PetForums VIP

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    I'd be mad about the dogs too.

    But the rest sounds like normal male behaviour, especially as he's only 20. He needs some training and positive reinforcement.

    Reward training and positive reinforcement works with men the same as dogs. Ignore the bad behaviour and praise/reward the good behaviour. Men are simple creatures and it REALLY works :D give it a try (when you've calmed down).
     
  6. lifeizsweet

    lifeizsweet PetForums VIP

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    My OH never does anything around the house and always spends his weekends shitfaced... except for the dog poo on the carpet is sounds like typical male behaviour. Sometimes you just don't want to do anything on your day off.

    But i'd still be fuming, i get angry at OH for it. then i play him at his game and don't do housework and get on the wine to show him how frustrating it is for the other person.
     
  7. JJAK

    JJAK PetForums VIP

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    I cant be arsed with him.

    Hes come home, carried on drinking, we had a blazing row and now hes sat on his pc playing some kiddy game.

    Iv walked the dogs
    Iv made tea and now ima sit and watch bad tv :)
     
  8. Gratch

    Gratch PetForums VIP

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    I couldn't handle that myself, I feel terrible for you. Drinking for me isn't to be done during the day either, just at night every now and again. I understand the not doing anything aswell as both me and my OH do bugger all and get annoyed at eachother :D Out of curiosity, how old are you?
     
  9. Gilly and Jess

    Gilly and Jess PetForums Senior

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    Blimey, I thought that was my sister posting there. Her husband is EXACTLY like that, except he has a MAJOR drinking problem, whereby it's now affecting his health. He's been hospitalised several times for it, vomiting pints of blood last time, now his circulation is going in his legs.....


    ....he's a lazy toad too, does nowt all day every day whilst me sister goes to work. Spills beer on the carpet.....slops food all over the place......vomits in the bathroom and doesn't clean up after himself...the list is endless.

    Good luck on it, I don't know what to suggest, well, I do, but ya know.....the first one involves opening the door, the second one involves locking it behind him....;) ;)
     
  10. HelloKittyHannah

    HelloKittyHannah PetForums VIP

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    If he's only just started acting like this in the past 2 weeks then I have a strong feeling there's something going on in his life that's causing him a lot of stress and he doesn't want to talk about it for whatever reason.
    Maybe his job isn't as great as he makes out, maybe he's not fitting in there? If he's just started the job then maybe he's stressed waiting for that first paycheck?

    The list is endless but usually when people have a sudden change in behaviour there's a reason for it. Try and talk it out in the morning, just say you've noticed he's been off for a couple of weeks but yesterday was the last straw, it's time to tell you whats wrong. How is your relationship normally?

    Good luck!

    (For the record I'd be fuming too though!)
     
  11. JJAK

    JJAK PetForums VIP

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    Im 20, weve been together 4 years, had the house for well over a year.
    We had another huggggggeeee arguement last night, resulted in me sleeping on the sofa with the dogs hahaha, iv told him if he doesnt stop drinking and doesnt pull his finger out then he can get out of my house. His responce was 'you couldnt cope without me' so I said 'watch this space' .....for some bizzare reason hes being awfully nice this morning!

    My mum was an abusive alcoholic (hence iv got this house, I was moved here!) so I know the signs and how the spiral starts. Its just frustrating as I thought id got away from all that shizz

    I know im 20 and should be out having fun but to me the dogs and house come first, if I cant keep the roof over my head then ill go without luxuarys like drink, chocolate, clothes to make sure I keep this place.
     
    #11 JJAK, Mar 27, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2011
  12. nutmeg

    nutmeg PetForums Senior

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    I would be fuming too, you have to make sure that he knows you mean business when you say you want him out of your house if this behaviour does not stop.
     
  13. Stephen&Dogs

    Stephen&Dogs PetForums VIP

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    What a prick he is :mad:
     
  14. JJAK

    JJAK PetForums VIP

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    He says hed fine with it, I dont see why hed have a problem with it, im in a class of 5 women, done in a studio with no windows and im doing it fitness purposes, not to go rounf 'flaunting' it. How would you feel if your mrs started dancing?
     
  15. harley bear

    harley bear PetForums VIP

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    Oh hun i feel for ya,

    Sounds like hes going through a stage of man boy syndrome, they all go through it at some point!
    Like you i wouldnt stand for it either he lives in the house he should pull his weight! Stick to your guns hun and dont put up with any crap because he will think he can get away with it all the time, but sit down and talk to him because a sudden change in behaviour like that is a bit odd... book him in the vets for a check up ;)
    My oh has been a prize knob this morning, kids woke up at about 7 and he was fuming they were awake so early and stormed off downstairs telling me or should i say warning me not to go down! I went down and told him to get a life and just because he was 'tired' hes still a parent when the kids are awake and should get a grip... he went to bed:rolleyes:
     
  16. KathrynH

    KathrynH Guest

    You are still very young both of you and he clearly doesnt and isnt going to grow up soon!! :mad::mad:

    But you should tell him that if he wants to act this way then to move out and join his singleton friends and live that lifestyle.

    YOU on the other hand dont want that sort of life as are dedicated to your nice home and lovely dogs.

    I would also be asking him why he has suddenly started to act this way is there something he ISNT telling you hun!! :eek::eek:
     
  17. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    Firstly, SO sorry to read that you are having to deal with this level of carp - you've been through so much already for one of your age.

    Reading your comments I need to ask how close was the start of the bad behaviour to him starting the new job? Is it possible he is working with & seeing young lads of a similar age being 'lads' and he is now seeing his life differently? 20 is quite young to be 'settled' and it could be that he has / is becoming resentful of the situation. However, he knows what you have grown up with (I apologise if I over-pressume) and can't bring himself to discuss these feelings with you. If he is feeling guilty about his feelings his bad behaviour will only get worse as will the fighting between you.

    Rather than get angry (yeah I know, it would be easier to stop the tide turning.....) try to swallow the anger & see if you can get him to open up to what the problem is. A soft tone & kind word will open more doors than being angry & shouting at him. This is when you prove to yourself that you are the bigger person. ;)

    I totally hope for you that this can be resolved. I grew up in what sounds like a similar environment to yours and fully understand the need & desire for stability & security. Please try not to fall into the train of thought that you can only have these with another person because this is not fair on the person you place this upon & you also undermine your abilities to be an amazing person in your own right.

    We are all here for you to help & support you anyway we can & if you want to PM me, please feel free to do so.

    The most important thing you need to remember is that YOU ARE worthy of a decent life and that you DO NOT have to live with this sh*t.

    Good luck We're all rooting for you!! :thumbsup:
     
  18. Stephny691

    Stephny691 PetForums Senior

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    I would murder my OH is he acted like that.

    Well done you for trying to talk it through. Maybe wait till he's sober and try talking it through properly. See if anything is causing this behaviour.

    Good luck hun, you don't deserve to have to put up with all that.
     
  19. rebeccajackson

    rebeccajackson PetForums Member

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    I feel your pain and hope he sorts himself out for your sake!

    My oh doesnt drink but is equally as selfish sometimes! And some how everything that goes wrong annoys him is some how my fault lol
     
  20. JJAK

    JJAK PetForums VIP

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    Well, we sat and attempted to talk.
    Apparently I 'treat him like a c*nt and dont respect him'

    but hes taking me to the cinema now, so....
     
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