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So angry and at the ultimatum stage.

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Wayne01, Sep 25, 2013.


  1. Wayne01

    Wayne01 PetForums Member

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    Hi all.

    Well I am at the point of giving an ultimatum as follows (No particular order)

    1) Alfie goes back to kennel/re-homed
    2) I have nothing more to do with him.
    3) A close relative has him.

    Why i hear you all ask.

    well I have spent a small fortune in training and equiptment on alfie.
    I am up at 0500hrs walking and training him, I go to bed late at night.
    I am constantly thinking of ways to entertain him mentally and physically
    and I am exhausted.

    2 days a week people I know take him for a walk (As they are walkers and take other dogs with them)
    However i have asked him not to go off lead as his recall is not good.

    but they have decided to let him off any way "he comes back for us" "he ignores other dogs on our walk"

    No he doesnt he comes back with the rest of the dogs.
    and hes is that more interested in the other dogs he doesnt need to approach strange dogs.

    Why wont people just listen and help when i am trying to socialize and train my dog.

    He is a big and powerfull boy and when he runs towards you he looks intimidating this i am trying to stop and gain his focus.

    Rant over

    thanks
     
  2. GingerRogers

    GingerRogers PetForums VIP

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    Why does Alfie have to suffer because of other peoples stupidity? :(
    Tell them straight or take your business elsewhere. Or are these free walkers if so perhaps you have to cough up and pay a professional.
     
  3. Cheryl89

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    I have a sort-ve similar situation when my OH's parents/family come over. They give her treats I don't want her having, and try to "coach us" on how to look after our dog (even though they haven't walked their two dogs in years... it's quite funny really) I just simply ignore and rise above it.

    It sounds to me like these walkers are getting too involved hun and you need to cut them free and either do it yourself or find a professional who will listen to your requirements. As Alfie is your dog it's your choice but just pay more and get rid of these ones you're having trouble with! :001_rolleyes:
     
  4. Hanwombat

    Hanwombat I ♥ dogs with eyebrows !!

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    I'd get another dog walker, I'd be furious if I told them not to do something and they did it anyways. I am paying for their service, so they do what I require!
     
  5. Picklelily

    Picklelily PetForums VIP

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    Wayne I hear your pain. You have taken on a dog somebody else didn't put the work in with when they were a puppy, its exhausting isn't it. I felt like you at least 2 days a week with my girl.

    You have to have others help you out and its ruddy annoying when they don't listen. I have no magic solution for you I wish I did. If only you could send him out with a recording of you constantly going saying "no off lead".

    I'm 9 months down the line training my girl 2 weekends ago she was perfect, I was so happy. This weekend she was a little beast, to me it felt like she was back to 9 months ago. When we arrived home I overheard my niece telling her Mum "that dog is so well trained" :eek: We have obviously come a long way, I just tend to focus on the negative.

    Some days we all need someone to remind us how far we have come.
     
  6. ClaireandDaisy

    ClaireandDaisy PetForums VIP

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    Well tbh I wouldn`t keep someone else`s big young dog on lead on a walk if I were confident he`d come back. Walking a lunging youngster onlead for a couple of hours would give me severe muscle strain and a lot of stress. I`m not sure what your youngster would be learning by onlead walking in these circumstances - except perhaps frustration.
    If you don`t like it, the answer is obvious - don`t let these people walk him.
    However - one way I have found excellent to accustom a young dog to not rushing up to other dogs (which is a perfectly natural instinct) is to walk with him older dogs who do leave others alone.
     
  7. GingerRogers

    GingerRogers PetForums VIP

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    When i re read the op i did think the same. Just saw red when he said it was the dog that had to go because of it.
     
  8. Alice Childress

    Alice Childress PetForums VIP

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    I'm also confused... why would that mean you'd have to rehome Alfie? Surely that just means that you have to find new dog walkers?
     
  9. Wayne01

    Wayne01 PetForums Member

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    Just to answer a couple of questions

    1) The dog walkers are free - they offered I am more than willing to do it my self.
    2) I am only sounding off - I am angry at myself not Alfie
    3) Giving up and failing is not in my vocabulary - If i dont succeed - i have not failed i just haven't fount the correct answer.

    Alfie will not suffer - I am just wondering if anyone else has ever felt like i am at the moment.

    Everyting I am doing is for him - my birthday a few days ago and I asked people for money - which I got.

    Now I need my Iaito to go through a Tsukamaki - (Re-Wrapping) (I Practise Iaido) i have enough money for this - However I am now looking at either the following.

    New Walking boots - Winter on way
    New Walking Jacket - Winter on way
    New Waterproof Trousers - Winter on way

    or

    Spend it all on 1-2-1 training for him.

    Please dont think he will suffer

    My Iaido will - Cant have it wrapped cant train with it
     
  10. Prowl

    Prowl Guest

    Grow some! (No offence meant))

    I hate to say it but you need to get tough on people you know your dog better then they do and they should listen to you as your paying them for a service and their service depends on you saying good things about them.

    My dog would not suit most families she is my life now and more then happy to do what suits her to make her happy. You can offer as much training and socialising as you like but it doesn't all ways work out. Training is just meant for fun and to encourage the behaviours you want not what others think you should have. If you let people they will give you all kinds of advice you know would not work on your dog you just have to trust your own instincts.

    Training and socialising doesn't mean a magic wand is waved and the dogs become magiclly well behaved. Their will be tears, set backs and anger because no one listens to you. or things don't all ways happen the way you like. You just have to trust in yourself and accept your dog.

    I honestly think you will regret rehoming your dog but if thats what you feel is right please think about very carefully.
     
    #10 Prowl, Sep 25, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2013
  11. Wayne01

    Wayne01 PetForums Member

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    Prowl - Thanks for posting (And no offence taken)

    As I said in an earlier post I dont pay these people they have asked if they can take my dogs - (they dont need to as I am more than willing to do it myself)

    As for the training - A little bit about my background - I am an ex-Military PAT dog handler - so I am not a total noob.

    I have today spoken to the people in question and have stated that if they can not respect my request/decision then please dont take him - (I have said that if they continue to do so I will hide all leads and collars)

    I have also stated that they MUST under no condition let him off - if this is to difficult then they are to leave him home.

    hopefully this will have sunk in.

    PEOPLE please not i am not angry at alfie just at myself- I am a little on the control and self critical side - Nothing I do is ever good enough.

    There are no such things as bad students just bad teachers -
     
  12. ouesi

    ouesi Guest

    You keep saying this, but no one has called you a noob or inexperienced or anything?
    I'm not in the UK, what does PAT stand for?

    FWIW, there is a huge difference between LIVING with a dog as a pet, and handling a dog in a military setting.
     
  13. Wayne01

    Wayne01 PetForums Member

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    PAT - Patrol Arm True -(A guard dog that is trained to only bite at the arm once released)
     
  14. GingerRogers

    GingerRogers PetForums VIP

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    Well we can only go on your posts and you opened with statements about rehoming the dog which made very little sense at all :rolleyes:.
     
  15. Blitz

    Blitz PetForums VIP

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    Other people will not always do what you ask, it is a fact of life and if they are walking your dog for miles with their dogs and have no problems with him then I would be grateful. If you dont like it then stop them walking him.
    I have a friend whose dog is walked by someone else. I was driving by where they were walking him and he chased my car - apparently she has asked them not to let him chase cars but they still do it.

    Years ago I had 2 standard poodles who were likely to take off after rabbits and disappear so I was careful where I walked them. We were away and had a farm sitter who had instructions not to let the dogs off the lead when she was checking cattle at the bottom of the farm. She heard me wrong and she did let them off. She told me afterwards that it really scared her as they ran so far away but as I had told her it was ok she trusted they would come back (which they did). I had not got the heart to tell her she had got it wrong!
     
  16. BoredomBusters

    BoredomBusters PetForums VIP

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    If the people who are kind enough to walk your dog for free are not doing it the way you want them to, then you can thank them nicely and refuse. That's easy.

    I do agree though, dogs who run off to strange dogs often won't when walked with a pack of dogs - I use this as a training aid, but obviously someone has to do the training. It can make some dogs worse, so no matter what training you do, them walking him could be making him worse. So it makes sense to say no thanks and do it yourself.

    When you mention you have to entertain him, what breed is he? I got stuck in this trap with my Fred when he was younger, and after about 2 years worked out that actually what he needed was more boring time! I was so disappointed as all the weekend activities I had to cut back on I really enjoyed, but it was better for Fred. And less exhausting for me when he would sleep. It's why I've got 4 dogs now, I can share the activities between all the dogs, nobody gets overtired that way. :)
     
  17. Wayne01

    Wayne01 PetForums Member

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    Hi

    He is a Doberman x Pointer 9 months old
     
  18. sezeelson

    sezeelson PetForums VIP

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    I'm afraid that's life...

    Just one of my family members is capable of listening to me and providing my dogs with a walk they are supposed to have not just what they want to do...

    Months of LLW have gone down the drain thanks to one person not listening to my instructions on just one walk.

    I leave my pup in the hands of a family member and come home to toiletting on the floor and nothing in the garden!?

    I never wanted to rehome any of my dogs. Ive cried from stress and feeling terribly let down but if you are going to rely on others you are going to have accept that it happens or stick to the old phrase 'if you want something done properly, do it yourself'

    I don't know Alfie's background but there will points in your life when the dog is #1 both financially and time wise.

    I do feel one2ones might a good place to start and get some advice. Even the most experienced owners hit a brick wall and need help so don't feel like this is a reflection on your ability to handle dogs because it is not!

    Good luck ;)
     
  19. c14swl

    c14swl PetForums Junior

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    Hi wayne
    I understand your post was probably just venting how you were feeling at the time. Your not the only person to realise that having a dog is not at easy as you think! so I send you a :D and hope you are feeling better bout things now.
     
  20. KellyNelly

    KellyNelly PetForums Member

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    Hi,

    I would like to echo what has already been mentioned by a couple of other posters, that sometimes letting a dog off the lead with older or more sensible dogs can be a good thing.

    Nell has horrible recall with me and after a couple of scares, I’ve lost my confidence to let her off again. She’s now on a long line and we’re going back to basics with recall. However, she goes out with a dog walker a couple of times a week and he lets her off and she’s perfect for him and I’m sure that’s because she follows the other dogs back to him (he walks his own dog at the same time). However, he didn’t let her off until he’d had her on the long line for a while and was happy that she’d come back.

    I am by no means an expert, I’ve only had Nell a year and she’s my first dog as an adult, but from reading what more experienced people have mentioned on this site my comments would be; does your dog enjoy training? I know with Nell I can tell when she’s “up for it” and when she’s had enough and when she’s had enough there is absolutely no point in it. Training should be a fun experience for both you and Alfie, otherwise it just becomes frustrating. Also he’s only 9 months old, so is he in his teenage years? I guess when you were a military handler, your dog came ready trained? Are you comparing Alfie to these dogs, even if you don’t mean to?

    Training a dog can mean training the people around you too! When I take Nell to my parents, if she jumps onto a piece of furniture she’s not allowed on, my Dad will tell her to get down, and I’m constantly telling him, it’s “off” Dad! Down means lie down, off means get off!! (Maybe I should give my Dad some chocolate when he uses the right word…)

    It’s clear that you want the best for your dog and are willing to put the time and effort into his training, so you will get there in the end. One thing I wish I had done when I got Nell was to keep a journal. I think that would be a good way to track small improvements in behaviour that you might not notice otherwise.

    Chin up
     
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