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Smoking ruins lives

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by $hAzZa, Jan 29, 2012.


  1. $hAzZa

    $hAzZa Shan

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    I don't know what to do. My parents have just had a barmy because my mum and I really want my dad to give up smoking. He's smoked for over 20 years and it's ravaged his lungs pretty bad, he has a really bad smokers cough too which drives both me and my mum insane. He's given up before, and he said he felt much better and was glad that he did....but then he started again for no reason...

    What more incentive to quit does he need? It's already gotten so bad that they sleep in different rooms. It saddens me how he's chosen nicotine over his family :crying:
     
  2. thedogsmother

    thedogsmother PetForums VIP

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    Its an addiction, he wont think that hes causing you or your mum any hardship, its hard to see that your actions, even though they may be affecting your health have an effect on the people who love you. I know with any addiction you cant give up till you are ready to commit to it, nobody can make your dad give up but him, and the more you try to make him give up the more he will probably dig his heels in :(. Have you and your mum told him how scared you are of loosing him and asked him to try speaking to the doctor or going to see a hypnotherapist or something like that to make it slightly easier for him? Ive heard good things about these electronic cigarettes too.
     
  3. rona

    rona Still missing my boys

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    Has your dad heard of Champix?

    I had battled smoking for 35 years and just cannot understand anyone being silly enough to start again once stopped :confused:
    Champix was the answer for me :thumbup:
     
  4. jon bda

    jon bda Guest

    Can't stop my mum smoking here...my old man collapsed and was taken into hospital with his lungs a few weeks back, the day he got out my mums sat in the same room as him smoking like a bleedin' chimney...
    :(
     
  5. newfiesmum

    newfiesmum Banned

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    He hasn't chosen nicotine over his family. It is an addiction, and he enjoys it. The more you nag him the more he will carry on doing it. Do you know that it is a smoker's cough and not some sort of chest infection? Has he been to the doctor about it?

    Nobody can make someone else give up anything; they have to want to do it themselves. So leave him be and see if he comes round on his own.

    I gave up for seven weeks once, told no one, but as soon as the family noticed and started checking the ashtrays and asking me if I had had a cigarette, that was the end of that. I didn't feel that they were caring about me, just interfering in what was essentially none of their business.
     
  6. ebonymagic

    ebonymagic PetForums Senior

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    He's an addict sweetie, it's what addicts do.

    He has to reach his own personal bottom before he can even think of quitting.

    While in this state, nothing you or your mum says, unfortunately, will make any difference.

    You and your Mum need to sort out some boundaries and stick to them, no matter how much he rants.

    1. Tell him he has to smoke outside, you have no desire to die from cancer through passive smoking.

    2. Tell him to use his own money to buy his cigarettes, because you have no desire to help him kill himself.

    3. No smoking in the car, even with the window open, because you have no desire to die because he was concentrating on his cigarette rather than the road.

    4. As a no smoker you have no desire what so ever of increasing the Carbon monoxide level in your blood, just to please him.


    These are some ideas from me, obviously you do what you need to do.
     
    Waterlily likes this.
  7. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    At the end of the day HE have to want to give up, it have been his hobby for many years and he obviously enjoyed it, but it is now telling in his health, no amount of photos or google links to what smoking does to you will make him give up.
    My huband have been smoking since he was 11 and he is now 55, He gave up straight away on the CHAMPIX tablets, you have to smoke during the first two weeks, then after that you go off your fags..............IT WORKS, my hubby gave up during the first week, it put him right off the taste of the fag. He didn't get moody, didn't feel sick or light headed nothing at all. It will be a year in may when he gave it up. I did it with my inhalour. We both feel so much better for it, I put on 2 stone in weight mine which I am trying to get off now. NO WAY will I ever go back to smoking. Tell him to go to the doctors and try this CHAMPIX for himself.
     
  8. haeveymolly

    haeveymolly PetForums VIP

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    Ime taking champix at the moment, absolutely fantastic, ive tried everything over the years and failed, but this time its been so easy.
     
  9. rona

    rona Still missing my boys

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    How long you been going?
     
  10. haeveymolly

    haeveymolly PetForums VIP

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    4 weeks, i go to a councellor every week, the champix are amazing i cant believe how easy its been, i still think about them but as quick as i think about them its gone just as quick and that never happened to me before it was a nightmare ive tried everything in the past.
     
  11. $hAzZa

    $hAzZa Shan

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    I agree with everyone when I say that we've been pushing him into a corner about this, and only he can make the decision :( I've found some info on the champix tablets online and plan to have a sit down with him tonight and have a relaxed conversation about it. I understand how addictive it is as I smoked for 3 years and regretted it. All I needed to do was take a good hard look at the disgusting images on the cigarette box and realize what I was doing to myself, but I understand that not everyone has strong willpower to wean themselves off this addiction and will need help outside the family. I need to try and control my anger towards him too as it's not his fault


    haeveymolly - It's nice to hear that you've taken the plunge and are doing well :)
     
  12. newfiesmum

    newfiesmum Banned

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    Do you have to get them on prescription from a doctor?
     
  13. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    The problem is that HE has to be ready to give up his addiction.

    Do you eat candy?
    What if someone (your parents, your doctor, you dentist) told you to give up candy. Could you?
    Could you resist sweets, cake, soft drinks, the lot, every single one, every single day, for the rest of your life, because someone else tells you it ruins your health?

    I bet you couldn't. Not unless you were fully convinced it is bad for you and totally dedicated to quitting.

    That is the point.
    HE is addicted, and HE has to admit he is addicted AND in his heart of hearts be committed to beat the addiction for once and for all. Otherwise it will never work.

    I decided I wanted to quit smoking the day my boyfriend said he could never live in a house that stank of cigarette smoke. I had been playing with the idea before, but I coudn't really give it up, I liked the sensation too much.
    But I had come to the stage where I started panicking if, in the evening, if I discovered I only had a few fags left, and wasn't sure if I could buy some more before I ran out. It made me feel like a true junkie and I loathed being so utterly dependent on something that was basically unhealthy.

    So when my colleague was ordered by the doctor to quit, and another colleague was pregnant and got really sick if someone smoked, I decided not to smoke at work any more. (In those days, it was still entirely normal to smoke in the owrkplace).
    So I stopped cold turkey every morning and started smoking again when I left for home. After a week of withdrawal symptoms I decided they would never get less if I didn't quit completely. Then my BF made that remark, and I wanted to live with him.

    So I quit.
    I took it one day at a time, even one hour at a time.
    Every time I needed a cigarette I decided not to have one YET. I kept pushing the moment of my next cigarette forward until after a week, I suddenly realized I hadn't been thinking of a smoke for a whole HOUR. That is about the same moment my physical withdrawal symptoms began to subside, the fever, the trembling hands....

    That is when I chucked my cigarettes in the bin.
    If I could dispell them from my mind for a whole hour after a single week, I could do without. I had proven I could do without.
     
    #13 Jiskefet, Jan 29, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2012
  14. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    Of course, him not being ready to quit doesn't mean you have to suffer for it.
    You can - and should - set some rules, like ebonymagic suggests.
    NO passive smoking for you, if he wants to smoke, he can go somewhere he ruins no-ones lungs but his own.
     
  15. rona

    rona Still missing my boys

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    I tried the counselor route a couple of years ago with Champix. I thought I was doing well but she kept putting me down and I gave up :rolleyes:
    I knew the drug worked and it had only been the stupid nurse that had ruined it for me, so one year later I went and got private prescriptions for Champix.
    Amazing how reasonably priced it is if you don't like being patronized by the medical profession.
    I did it my way in the end, didn't follow the instructions and took 6 weeks to cut out the fags completely, but once done, it was a doddle and no way would I have gone back.
    I didn't put any pressure on myself when I did have a cigarette in that 6 weeks, just saw it as part of the giving up :)
    I did feel slightly nauseas for few weeks but well worth that :D
     
    #15 rona, Jan 29, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2012
  16. Cinnebar

    Cinnebar PetForums Senior

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    I did try champex for a month and I have never felt as sick in my life.
    You would wake up in a morning feeling OK, take a tablet and before long the dreaded feeling of nausea would begin. I put up with it for a month thinking that it would get better and it didn't. I just wanted to cry the whole time, I felt so ill :(
     
  17. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    Yes you go to your doctor and ask for them, they will give you an option of Inhalor, Chewing Gum, Patches or Champix.......................CHAMPIX is the best thing out there.
     
  18. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    Bupropion is another type of medication to help you quit. In the Netherlands it is known as Zyban. A colleague of mine quit using Zyban.
     
  19. rona

    rona Still missing my boys

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    I found you had to eat before taking them, hard for me as I don't do breakfast
     
  20. newfiesmum

    newfiesmum Banned

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    I don't do well with support group type things anyway. I don't like people comparing notes and telling me what I should be doing, it is not my way. So I don't blame you, to be honest. I would have told her where to go. She has probably never smoked in her life!
     
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