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Smart Ass Answers!!!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ninja, Aug 4, 2009.


  1. ninja

    ninja PetForums VIP

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    Smart Ass Answer #5:

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."



    Smart Ass Answer #4:

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



    Smart Ass Answer #3:

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.



    Smart Ass Answer #2:

    A truck driver was driving along the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."



    Smart Ass Answer #1:



    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
     
    alphadog and munchbunch like this.
  2. noushka05

    noushka05 Unicorn denier. Snowflake. Activist ;)

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    hahaaa :laugh: the 1st one is my favourite Ninja!!:D
     
  3. ninja

    ninja PetForums VIP

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    LOL mine to noush :D
     
  4. noushka05

    noushka05 Unicorn denier. Snowflake. Activist ;)

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    I think me & you have the same sense of humour!!:001_tt2: :devil:
     
  5. ninja

    ninja PetForums VIP

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    :eek: is that a good or a bad thing LOL :001_tt2: :D
     
  6. munchbunch

    munchbunch PetForums VIP

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    Brill jokes!! :D
     
  7. stevecov

    stevecov PetForums Junior

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    I like number 2 and 4 :D
     
  8. dipdog

    dipdog PetForums VIP

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    lmao like um x
     
  9. jilly40

    jilly40 PetForums VIP

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    lol they were brill thanks 4 sharing xx
     
  10. noushka05

    noushka05 Unicorn denier. Snowflake. Activist ;)

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    not sure really!:eek: i think it might mean this....:eek:ut:..:cornut:
     
  11. ninja

    ninja PetForums VIP

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    thats ok then :p,
    i would have been worried if it had been anything different :001_tt2:
     
    noushka05 likes this.
  12. brackensmom

    brackensmom PetForums VIP

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    great jokes, i like 1st and last one best.
     
  13. Cassies-mum

    Cassies-mum PetForums VIP

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    ninja - these make me laugh loads...

    I love you ;)
     
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