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should you apologise for what you do when it's you?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by metame, Dec 8, 2012.


  1. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    or just for being you?

    i warn people when they get to know me a bit, if we become friends, that i can be a right moody/prickly.rude/antisocial cow at times, they either accept this of dont.

    if they're bugging me and im like this i tell them to eff off and i've given up apologising for it later, i always used to, but now they've had prior warning, so should i or shouldnt i?


    i told someone on skype to eff off the other week and blocked him (he really honestly deserved it but wont go into why) and when i unblocked him i left it a few days before saying hi.

    first thing he said to me was 'you told me to eff off the other day.'
    i said he had had prior warning of it and i wasnt going to apologise.
    and his reply was i wouldnt apologise because i was white so i was rude!

    and now someone else isnt talking to me (they know me better because theyve known me for years now and lived with me at uni) becuase i was a bit tetchy with her the other night :/ im refusing to apologise to her as well...

    or should i?

    i dont even know if this makes sense :p
     
  2. Lavenderb

    Lavenderb PetForums VIP

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    Would you rather apologise or lose friends? An apology costs nothing :)
     
  3. babycham2002

    babycham2002 PetForums VIP

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    I just try to be a nicer person in general
     
  4. canuckjill

    canuckjill Moderator
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    I have a friend who sometimes goes off for no reason, I understand she really doesn't mean it but there have been times it has been hurtful. Many of the times its extremely hurtful and she was just striking out at a safe person she has said Sorry I was just going through a time if I was hurtful I'm sorry...Thats enough no explanation is necessary...
     
  5. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    i can lose him, he's a horrible person anyway and i'll be glad if i finally got rid of him (though im rude cause im white :p) im sick of apologising to the other person
    i dont need to try im generally a nice person :/
     
  6. babycham2002

    babycham2002 PetForums VIP

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    i dont think telling people to eff off is nice

    How would you feel if these people treated you like you treat them?



    As for the bloke whos peed you off, in fairness he sounds like a ****** anyway so better off without him.
     
  7. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    but surely if i prewarn them, AND tell them i dont want friends because this is what im like, then why is it my problem?

    im just sick of apologising after a lifetime of it

    and then the people who really know me when i apologise to them they tell me not to bother because ive already warned tham thats what im like so theres no need for it, so how are you meant to know what to do?


    i apologise to some people who i think deserve it but they're sick of hearing it now so its safer for them to just not be which is what ii tell them in the first place!
     
  8. CRL

    CRL Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

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    i am on another forum that you can act as yourself, the admin dont care f you swear, you can say what you wish. now in real life i swear alot, on forums like this where swearing isnt allowed i will try and write a post without swearing.
    on the other forum i used to swear when i needed too, not every post had it in. some people didnt like me, but they never told me what they thought of me and my swearing. until another member accused me of making another profile on a different forum to call her fat. now if these people actually knew me they would know i wouldnt have to make a new profile to call someone fat, i would have just said it. she believed this because other memebrs seemed to think it was me. when i said it wasnt and i wanted an apology she wouldnt give it because apparently im a lier. another member then told me (because another member was having a go, she thought she should join in) that im a foul mouthed angry young girl.
    they knew i swore alot, i didnt claim to be anything i wasnt, i didnt lie to them about anything, yet they accused me of being something i wasnt. i hardly go on that forum anymore because tbh i cant be bothered with their 'holier than thou, stuck up their @ss, on their high horse' attitude.
    i wont apologise for my swearing, its the way i am, if they dont like it then tough s**t. :dita:

    if you have warned them in advance that you dont take rubbish, get in moods and tell people to F off, then no i dont think you should apologise, you have already warned them about it.
     
  9. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    he's the only one ive told to eff off
     
  10. JANICE199

    JANICE199 PetForums VIP

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    There is a 4 letter word that goes a long way. No not that word.;)
    It's called, tact. A little tact goes a long way. And you can still be you.:D
     
  11. rona

    rona Still missing my boys

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    If you have inflicted hurt and you realise you have, then you should apologies.

    Unless of course you actually meant to do it
     
  12. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    thats ridiculous about the other forum!
     
  13. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    im sure its you who said they didnt know how to be tactful? :lol:

    i rarely mean any of what i do, you know that.
     
    JANICE199 likes this.
  14. SandyR

    SandyR PetForums Senior

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    If the person has done something to deserve you to tell them to f off then no you should not apologies first, but maybe they should.

    However if your just taking out your bad moods on other people you need to learn to control your self and saying its just who you are it not fair on others. No one deserves to take rude comments just because that's who you are.

    We all snap at the wrong people at times but we should always say sorry for the mistake.
     
  15. catz4m8z

    catz4m8z PetForums VIP

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    I think its ok to be a moody cow and not apologise....as long as you appreciate that people wont want to know you eventually!:rolleyes:
    Im also fairly grumpy and am unfailingly honest...to the point where I can say pretty much what I want at work and people find me 'quirky'! However if I am a beeatch to someone I hold my hands up and apologise!! If you want to be honest about yourself to others you have to man up and be honest when you know you are being a cow too!;)
     
  16. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    re they gonna read as much into what i say as i do though?
     
  17. CRL

    CRL Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

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    do you want to know what started it all off?
    we invited another person to join the forum, she had a pregnant dog. loads of members accused her of being a lier about the pregancy. the women didnt come back on the forum, and the members wondered why she wasnt coming back. i said 'im not surprised tbh'. they went off their head because they thought they were all really nice people and started loads of arguements. called me names, ganged up on me, said my pets should be put in plastic tubs and suffocated. yes some of the members are such lovely people :rolleyes:. one of the admin and a few of the members hardly go on their any more.
     
  18. Luz

    Luz PetForums VIP

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    Personally I think it's nicer to apologise. If you are a moody cow it's your fault and you shouldn't expect to be able to hurt people and them not to expect an apology. :(
    My OH and I have been together decades. He is arsey first thing on a morning, arsey when he comes home from work, arsey if he's tired or hungry. (other than that he's alright-unless he bangs his head or drops something:rolleyes:) Now I know this but if he snaps at me I will sulk until I get an apology, because I refuse to be treated as some sort of emotional punchbag. The way I see it, his lack of patience is his problem not mine.

    Does this make sense?:D
     
  19. JANICE199

    JANICE199 PetForums VIP

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  20. Luz

    Luz PetForums VIP

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    Cheeses! Makes this place sound like rainbows and unicorns! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
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