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Should I get a new member to our family?

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by ikoles, Mar 28, 2011.


  1. ikoles

    ikoles PetForums Newbie

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    Hello. I'm sorry for my English, I'm Russian who lives in England for quite a lot of years, but still find it diffucalt to write in English.
    I have two lovely and very much beloved cats, Bassya and Mussya, and they are 11 and 16 y.o. They came from Russia and had to go throught quarantine, what was very hard and painfull for all of us. That was a lot of years ago and now everything is settled and we are happy. They were always my cats and all my family treats them as my pets, so I'm responsible for everything connected with them.
    But at the present time my son started to ask a dog. It is his dream and I do understand his feelings. I do not mind to have dog as I love all pets, but I do worry about my cats. It is last thing I want to do to make their life miserable and to shorten their life. They are too dear to me. That is why I'm asking advise, what to do? Is anybody had this problem? I do understand that it would be much easier with yanger cats, as they are helthier and faster.
    I've heard that in our case it is better to get a puppy not agresive breed, but still, how to introduse it correct way to minimise disturbing cats.
    (I always want to have cats in the future so this prpblem will never disappear. )

    Thank you in advance for any reply.
     
  2. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    Good morning Ikoles and welcome to the Pet Forum. Lovely to have you on board. Also, you have much better English skills than some people I know who have been born & bred here. :001_smile:

    I'm afraid I'm not really qualified to answer your question but I am sure that someone will be along shortly who can.

    I just wanted to extend a welcome to you as no one else had bothered to do so. :mad:

    Kind regards

    Moggy
    :smile:
     
  3. Etienne

    Etienne Dad to Puss and Shadow

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    Hi and welcome
    If it was me I think seriously think about going to a rescue centre where they have puppies and adult dogs. It is also good so you can explain what you want and tell them about your cats to which they have a better understanding for your family, your cats and the possible new members needs.
    Good luck in searching
     
  4. thelioncub

    thelioncub PetForums Senior

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    Hey! Welcome to PF. I agree that your English is better than some people who were born here. Hehe.

    Out of interest, how old is your son? Do you think there is chance that he wants a dog, but perhaps doesn't fully understand or appreciate the work that goes into being a dog owner? I would worry for you that you end up caring for two cats - who as they get older, will possibly need more care/vet visits AND a dog. Especially if you get a puppy - as I understand they need a lot of training. If your son isn't old enough to take that responsibility, I would think very carefully about whether you can..

    Personally, I would be scared that the stress for two older cats may be harder to overcome. It depends on how set in their ways they are, and how much you think they could cope with change. As an example, I have one cat who would pretty much make friends with anything, but is young still and sometimes hard work, and another who is very chilled out, but old and ill - and I wouldn't want him to HAVE to cope with anything new. In my situation, a dog would be a big no. My point is - what does your gut instinct say about your situation?

    I hope this helps a little!
     
  5. ikoles

    ikoles PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you so much for such a warm welcoming.
     
  6. ikoles

    ikoles PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you for your reply. I do think the same way - I do not want them to be in position when they have to cope and hide everywhere untill the rest of their life. That is why I do want to listen to opinions and try to make the right decision. Having a new pet is always serious step, because it is not for tryal, is is for life.

    My son is about 7 y.o. And that is exactly time when he just can start to learn how to look after someone dependant and dear. I do feel that sometimes he might be lonely (because some sircumstances he is only child in the family). He tries to play with cats, but it is "doggy" games and one can too scared of him, another just doesn't enjoy it. Of course I do understnd that the main job still be on my shoulders and we will have to meet extra vet expences. Both our cats insured and I do know how expensiv it can be. But from the oter side cats will not become younger in 2-3 years and I do hope we still be together. Is it fair to refuse son to have a furry friend because my personal love and obligations?
     
  7. thelioncub

    thelioncub PetForums Senior

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    Hi again,

    Please don't let my opinion put you off, but I would say that your son is too young to be granted his wish for a dog. I would worry that at such a young age, kids will wish for many things - most of which will quickly become boring. A Dog is a massive commitment - more so than cats because they are far more dependent on us humans. For a start, I would imagine you don't want your young son to be walking the dog alone, so already that involves you. If your son gets bored/has too much homework/is out with his friends then again, this falls back onto you to look after the new addition.

    If anything, have you considered perhaps getting a third cat - one that is younger and more playful? This could be less stressful for your two cats to get used to, but gives your son something to play with. I have a Siamese cat which is very dog-like, and loves playing fetch, having his tummy rubbed etc.

    To answer your question though, it is totally fair to tell your son that you won't be getting a dog. You are the adult, and it really is your decision!
     
  8. buffie

    buffie Mentored by Meeko

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    I agree with thelioncub.I think your son is too young to accept any responsibility for a dog.As you have said it is a huge commitment taking on the care of any animal and you need to be 100% certain that this is what you all want,after all it is not just your cats that have to be considered there is the new puppy/dogs needs too.If ,in a few years your son is still showing a desire to have a dog then you could perhaps reconsider this but at the moment I would say that while there is doubt then the answer has to ,no.
     
  9. MaineCoonMommy

    MaineCoonMommy PetForums Member

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    Hello and welcome. I have to agree with the others. I have a much younger brother who nagged my mother for a dog and he was very excited when they got one. However, after the novelty wore off she had to nag him to take the dog out, which he wouldn't do until he'd been told repeatedly. He also nagged for pet birds, was so happy to get some parakeets, but again-novelty wore off-and my mother had to leave him all sorts of hand written notes that he would see when he'd go into the kitchen to give the birds fresh water and food. And, guess what? He still didn't do it until my mother would come home and yell at him. I'd resist giving in to pet wishes at this stage, dogs require a lot of attention and training. I may consider something a bit less intrusive pet-wise that you could handle, but not sure what would be compatible with an older cat.
     
  10. IndysMamma

    IndysMamma PetForums VIP

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    Maybe your son could learn all about dogs for a year or two? I mean really learn, read books on the training and care of dogs and research the different breeds, go to dog shows to meet the breeds and talk to owners and learn even more about the breeds and any problems they may be prone to/special needs they may have.

    Proper research into the perfect breed can *easily* take 2 years and will let him be that little bit older and able to be more responsible - and will prove whether it is something he really wants.

    By doing it together it becomes a family decision and everyone is prepared when the time comes to buy a puppy or adopt an older dog. And if you have become friends with a breeder then you will have a good strong connection for helping your elderly cats adjust to the change.

    As the parent it is firmly in your hands but by doing all this research - by the time your son gets a dog he'll be much more prepared and able to be mostly in charge of the day to day routine with just your help with the bits he's too small to do.

    Also - if you have a friend with an elderly, very calm dog, they could perhaps start visiting and get your cats used to the idea of dogs in general.
     
  11. ikoles

    ikoles PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you very much for reply. I have to agree with most ideas. I decided to take all family to the Pet show in London and to see cats, dogs and all other kind of pets. I'm pretty sure, that is will be a lot of experienced people there to answer all questions. Also, we will have more serious talks in family. My son is even not insisting on bying dog, just quitly dreaming about furry friend, but husband doesn't want any responsibilities. So, mainly decision shoud be mine (as it seems to me:smile:)
     
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