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Puppy Blues... HELP!

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Mackenzie Cabana, Feb 5, 2019.

  1. Mackenzie Cabana

    Mackenzie Cabana PetForums Newbie

    Feb 5, 2019
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    Hey, so on Sunday we got a 11 week old cocker spaniel puppy. I have wanted a puppy for forever (literally forever!!) and was so excited. I got her home and realized petty much the same i was not at all prepared for this. I have been having such bad anxiety and panic attacks and secretly worried I made a horrible decision. I have read a lot of info on this and i know its normal but im worried because its has only been 2 or 3 days....

    1. We tried crate training the first night and i slept (not really but i tried to) next to her crate and she whined pretty much all night except for maybe 3 hours. The second night my fiance had her sleep on the couch to stop the whining and he took her out 3 times and she was perfectly okay and slept through the night without a noise. I am not sure what to do tonight but we both need sleep. Please help! Is it okay to have her sleep with us or should we sleep upstairs the the crate down stairs? We have cats who are scared of her and they are upstairs so we cant put the crate in the bedroom.

    2. Day to day life: I found a friend who is going to come to our house during the day because with our commute she would be alone for 10.5 hours a day and thats insane. My friend lives far so i know some days may be hard which i am worried about (we are paying her but still). So my back up plan is a family friend who works 2 days during the week. Is it insane to worry about a back up back up plan?

    3. I am so anxious i mean i want to be able to move about the house but when i leave the room she whines. How can i fix this?

    Please just send puppy blues help because i have cried 3 times today and I cannot see myself last a few weeks or a month like this.
  2. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

    Jul 29, 2017
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    I've just been on another thread about the puppy blues it's normal so take a deep breath.

    Sleep wise if you want puppy to stay in crate do it slowly so yes stay with pup. She has just left her mum and litter mates and needs comforting. The first few weeks you will be tired but it gets better. You will need to get up to take her to the toilet in the night so it's best to stay close.

    Back up plan how long will your friend stay ? All day? Yes have a back up I have a walker but also a lovely neighbor who pops in and when stuck I pay my step daughter.

    You will be able to move around the house they do settle although my 4 yr old boxer still follows me loads.

    This forum has loads of advice see the puppy survival sticky at the top. Oh and puppy pics obligatory :)
    Picklelily likes this.
  3. JoanneF

    JoanneF PetForums VIP

    Feb 1, 2016
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    Remember for the first time in her short life she has been uprooted and taken from the comfort of mum and littermates so she will be anxious. So yes, it is fine for her to sleep with you, your presence will comfort her and reassure her; and feeling safe will help build her confidence. Leaving her to cry would reinforce her anxiety and make her feel that there actually is something to worry about. If she is crated though, can't she be up in the bedroom? The cats would be safe and you can put a hand down to reassure her. Then after a few nights you can move the crate to the upstairs landing for a few nights, foot of the stair for a few nights and gradually progress from there to where you want her to sleep. Alternatively move yourselves incrementally away from her room.
    No, if it makes you feel more confident and helps you relax, it's a good thing. And, in the same way as having a double back up plan will help you relax and feel more confident, your puppy will feel more confident knowing you are there for her in the night as per your previous point - it's the same sort of reassurance.
    It's early days but it is a good idea to help her become independent as early as you can - get her used to you walking out of the room then immediately back in again, preferably when she is occupied with something like a Kong. Try to make no fuss, you don't want to prepare her into thinking "oh no this means they are going out" - the aim is for her to barely register you coming and going - ideally for her to have a 'oh, you're back, I didn't notice you leave' reaction. Very, very gradually build up time. This will be hard work but put the work in now and it will pay off later. If she gets distressed though you have gone too fast, and created anxiety and that is not what you want. Stair gates are also useful to allow her to see you pottering about in another room, but without being glued to your feet.

    You can also reward independent behaviour - praise when your dog is not actively engaged with you, which is actually quite hard to remember to do because we sort of don't notice when it happens!

    Lastly, puppy blues are totally normal. Don't beat yourself up. You will get there!
  4. Allybean11

    Allybean11 PetForums Member

    Nov 12, 2017
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    All the advice above is great, so I don’t have much more to add, apart from the fact that my mother in law had a cocker spaniel puppy and seriously considered re-homing her, crying about it, etc, as the first few weeks were very very tough for her (very similar to what you’re going through)
    But, she kept her and her dog has turned into a wonderful companion with no problems. (She’s about 9 now)
    In the early days I went round to spend time with the puppy while she was at work and started on some training exercises, so maybe you could try this during the day. Mental stimulation is a great thing to do overall, but may also help the puppy to sleep more as you’ve tired her out mentally!
    JoanneF likes this.
  5. jamat

    jamat PetForums VIP

    Jun 3, 2015
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    I feel for you I really do four years ago we got Alfie and within days my wife was saying we needed to re-home him.

    That's when I found this site. I got good advice and now four years on we couldn't live without him.

    It's a shock to the system and a total change to your routine and no book tells you this.

    Have a routine set up, feeding times, play times, walking time etc. But it's important to make it fit your life not the other way round, yes things will change but you have to find that balance.

    If your doing things about the house designate a room you can put the dog in. We chose the kitchen as it connects the hall, lounge and dining room. We got some second hand baby gates for the doors so Alfie could see us but not be under foot while we did day to day things.

    If possible move the cage into the bedroom but it's important to make it a place he likes done shut him in and be done with it he'll learn to hate it. Try feeding him there playing in it with him make it a place he feels safe in.

    Oh and from personal experience unless you are disciplined don't expect it to last more than a year....we took Alfie camping and the cage wouldn't fit in the caravan so we let him sleep on the bed now he sleeps on the bed lol and we sold the csgr

    Puppy blues are a pain but it won't last routine and good training will get you though anand never feel you've made a mistake good luck and hope you have lots of fun over the years with your dog
    Boxer123 likes this.
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