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Please help- My dog is driving me crazy!

Discussion in 'Dog Training and Behaviour' started by Ibiza, Nov 21, 2012.


  1. Ibiza

    Ibiza PetForums Newbie

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    Its 4.40am and I haven't had a good nights sleep in three weeks!

    I have always taken an interest in dog behavior and training and I liked to think of myself as an educated and skilled owner....bit of a Cesar Milan I thought. That is until about three weeks ago

    I have a lovely, balanced and well behaved 5 year old lab called Benson. He is a highly exercised, well fed and happy dog. About three weeks ago my girlfriend moved in and Benson started to whine at night (he sleeps downstairs). He has done this a few times in the past so I did my usual calm assertive instruction to be quiet. He kept on whining however and we had a bad nights sleep.

    I realised that he was prob a bit jealous and he started whining again the next night. I decided to ignore it and he literally kept going non stop for 3 hours. I thought maybe something was wrong so went to see him and he was all happy and jumping on the sofa wagging his tail like a goon!

    So next night my gf and i are shattered and he starts whining again. I told him to be quiet and he ignores me and starts again. So I tell him more harshly to be quiet, he ignores me and starts again. I got so angry I went downstairs and spanked his bum and really shouted at him. I couldn't believe when 5 mins later he was whining again! this is totally unlike him.

    So I had sometime to think about it and decided to buy some ear plugs and totally ignore the behavior which i tried for several nights....but he is so determined! He stands at the bottom of the stairs and whines non stop for 4 hours!!! I mean what can drive a 5 year old dog to whine for 4 hours! I'm worried about him.

    Now when we ignore it f he comes and stands outside the door and pants while deliberately creaking the floorboards. I sent him downstairs and he keeps coming back up. Tonight I flipped out and smacked his bum and sent him downstairs. I was so angry and tired 5 mins later he comes up again!!!

    This as just gone on and on and three week later he is still whining. I have tried affection, ignoring him, calm assertive instruction. Nothing has helped!
    I'm at my wits end... my girlfriend and i are so tired but i am determined not to give up let him start sleeping with us! Its effecting our relationship and my relationship with my dog because he is frustrating us so much.

    If anyone has any ideas why this behavior as started or what i can do to stop it I would be so grateful.

    Thank you
    James & Benson
     
  2. Beth17

    Beth17 PetForums VIP

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    I'm afraid I don't have any real advice but I'm sure people will be along to offer some soon.

    All I will say is please don't hit your dog it achieves nothing apart from wrecking your relationship with him and is likely to make him unhappy. I certainly can't imagine he is deliberately squeaking the floorboards :confused: Also I wouldn't style yourself on Cesar Milan he has some strange ideas on how to treat dogs and most people on here can't stand him.

    I would suggest a baby gate to keep him downstairs.
     
  3. Owned By A Yellow Lab

    Owned By A Yellow Lab PetForums VIP

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    Is this a wind up?

    Your dog 'deliberately' made the floorboards creak....?



    Your dog is upset so you 'spanked' him.....?

    Then on another occasion you 'flipped out and shouted' and then spanked him again??



    Stop watching Cesar Milan. He is often unkind to dogs and sorry, but YOU have now been unkind to your lovely Lab.

    Labs love to be with their folk. Your dog wants to be with you, upstairs. If you don't want him in the bedroom, then of course that's your call. But maybe move his bed upstairs to the hall so at least he's near you.

    And for goodness sake DO NOT 'spank' or shout at your dog again - how would you like it if when you're upset someone did that to YOU???
     
    #3 Owned By A Yellow Lab, Nov 21, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2012
  4. GermanShepardOwner

    GermanShepardOwner PetForums Senior

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    I have always taken an interest in dog behavior and training and I liked to think of myself as an educated and skilled owner....bit of a Cesar Milan I thought. That is until about three weeks ago

    Its good you are educated and skilled, but do not follow the way of cesar millan.... it will end badly.

    I have a lovely, balanced and well behaved 5 year old lab called Benson. He is a highly exercised, well fed and happy dog. About three weeks ago my girlfriend moved in and Benson started to whine at night (he sleeps downstairs). He has done this a few times in the past so I did my usual calm assertive instruction to be quiet. He kept on whining however and we had a bad nights sleep.


    I realised that he was prob a bit jealous and he started whining again the next night. I decided to ignore it and he literally kept going non stop for 3 hours. I thought maybe something was wrong so went to see him and he was all happy and jumping on the sofa wagging his tail like a goon!

    So next night my gf and i are shattered and he starts whining again. I told him to be quiet and he ignores me and starts again. So I tell him more harshly to be quiet, he ignores me and starts again. I got so angry I went downstairs and spanked his bum and really shouted at him. I couldn't believe when 5 mins later he was whining again! this is totally unlike him.

    You can not blame him for this behaviour, somethings happened which he is unsure about and smacking him will not help at all, next time he may turn around and bite you. Also shouting at him wont help, you will just make the whole situation worse, im not suprised he still whined after.

    So I had sometime to think about it and decided to buy some ear plugs and totally ignore the behavior which i tried for several nights....but he is so determined! He stands at the bottom of the stairs and whines non stop for 4 hours!!! I mean what can drive a 5 year old dog to whine for 4 hours! I'm worried about him.

    Dont allow him access to the bottom of the stairs.

    Now when we ignore it f he comes and stands outside the door and pants while deliberately creaking the floorboards. I sent him downstairs and he keeps coming back up. Tonight I flipped out and smacked his bum and sent him downstairs. I was so angry and tired 5 mins later he comes up again!!!

    Hes very stressed, you need to stop getting angry or you are totally going to ruin this dog potentially. You can not blame him for this behaviour. Get a stair gate or shut him in a different room so he can not get upstairs, also i would give him a kong or something to do at night to help him settle.

    This as just gone on and on and three week later he is still whining. I have tried affection, ignoring him, calm assertive instruction. Nothing has helped!
    I'm at my wits end... my girlfriend and i are so tired but i am determined not to give up let him start sleeping with us! Its effecting our relationship and my relationship with my dog because he is frustrating us so much.

    I would work on the quiet command, when quiet treat and praise. I think i would also get him vet checked just to rule any health issues out. I think if it persisted too much i would allow to sleep in corner of room or something or outside the bedroom door with door open, as he is very stressed and it cant carry on.I completely understand how annoying this is but you can not get angry at your dog, its not his fault.

    If anyone has any ideas why this behavior as started or what i can do to stop it I would be so grateful.
     
  5. Fleur

    Fleur Vassal to Lilly and Ludo

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    Get the vet to give him a check over - just in case it's something physical.

    Get a baby gate or 2 to contain him in the area you want him to sleep.
    Leave the radio on low, give him a nive sweaty t-shirt of yours and try some DAP either collar or diffuser to help calm him.
    When you go to bed leave him with a frozen stuffed kong to occupy and distract him (you can stuff it with a portion of his dinner if wet food just freeze if dry soak it in water then freeze)

    And start some rewards based training and teach him a 'quiet' command
     
  6. sillygilly

    sillygilly PetForums Member

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    I find Bach rescue remedy brilliant for calming a stressed dog, just a couple of drops work wonders. My little Cairn who is terrified of storms calms down a treat.
     
  7. Bobbie

    Bobbie PetForums VIP

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    I think the dog is upset by the girlfriend moving in he thinks " if she is allowed in the bedroom why can't I " He has loved you for a long time so please don't spank him or raise your voice these are all negative things.
     
  8. blossom21

    blossom21 PetForums Senior

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    Im not any type of expert on dog behaviour even though I have owned several dogs through the years, but my instinct would say he's jealous bless him. He's had you all to himself and now theres an interloper. I understand the getting angry bit,Brambles behaviour has driven me nuts before now and I admit to smacking him once because I was at the end of my tether. But it doesnt help as the others have said, personally I think owning a dog is a learning curve every single day.

    Owned by a lab, why is it necessary to yell at people by using large print. :confused: That sort of thing puts me off posting questions,we all ask for advice, not to be yelled at.
     
  9. Dot

    Dot PetForums Member

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    Please let this be a wind up:( Dogs don't deliberately annoy you. Dog's also don't speak English he wont know what you are angry about. Also, don't hit your dog, please. :(:(
     
  10. Owned By A Yellow Lab

    Owned By A Yellow Lab PetForums VIP

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    I always post in that sized font because I find it easier to read - if you don't like it, tough.

    My response to the OP was polite so there is no reason for you to accuse me of 'yelling'.

    If you don't like my posts, don't read them.
     
  11. Ibiza

    Ibiza PetForums Newbie

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    Hi Everyone,

    Thanks for your advice I have taken it all on board. Just wanted to let you know that my dog means everything to me and I would never hurt him.

    I feel like a really bad owner after some of the comments. I feel like I need to tell you how crazy i am for him and how hard i try to give him a great healthy life (hope you don't mind). I have taken him for two long forest walks everyday of his life and I have never missed one, even when I have to be in work at 7am I will be in the forest at 5.30am in the pitch dark throwing sticks. I feed him specially organic natural raw meats (he actually eats better than me some days) and he spends most of his days crashing through the river retrieving oversized branches and of course being loved. My neighbors and family often comment on what an great, balanced dog he is

    I just want to justify what i mean by spanking and also why I have used it as a form of correction.

    Please don't think of me as some crazed man whooping on his dog while it cowers in fear. It is a method of correction I have used very rarely and sparingly involves me saying "HEY" and spanking his bum enough to be firm but not painful.

    I have to say that i do believe in delivering firm correction when a dogs behavior is extreme or likely to hurt themselves or others.

    For example Benson jumped up onto the kitchen counter when he was young and was inches from pulling down a scolding hot pan onto himself. I spanked his bum (firm but not painful) and corrected him, he never jumped on the counter again.

    Benson once tried to dash onto the road whilst on the lead and I corrected him in the same manor. Also when he was younger to prevent him jumping up on small children.

    I do realise however that in this situation it was not the correct
    method to use and being angry did not help. I guess I have a lot to learn. After three weeks of no sleep it has been sending me crazy I was pretty tearful last night

    Oh yes on a lighter note I promise you the floorboard thing is true! He knows which step makes a creak and he sits on it moves about on it back and forth. I know it sounds weird!! Its like he knows we can hear it and he want attention! He does it at my parents house sometimes.

    So I'm gonna try some of your advice. Thanks again for your help.

    :) Here is a picture by the way
     

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  12. Milliepoochie

    Milliepoochie PetForums VIP

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    Calm down ;)

    If the person who mentioned your larger text is reasonably new to the forum they may not realise you use a large font.

    To someone who doesnt know you always use a larger font it may have come accross as rude and 'shouty'. (Thats what a larger font sggests - That one is shouting / making it larger to ensure it is heard)

    To someone who has not been on the forum very long and doesnt know you / your style of writing it could have come accross as rude.

    Just felt there was no need to bite the persons head off :(
     
    #12 Milliepoochie, Nov 21, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2012
  13. Milliepoochie

    Milliepoochie PetForums VIP

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    To the OP -

    Personally I wouldnt move the dog upstairs esp if you want your dog to sleep downstairs.

    I would restrict access during the night. Can you contain the dog within say the kitchen? So your dog cant get to the bottom of the stairs?

    My girl sleeps in our room - In our bed :rolleyes: Between hubby and me :rolleyes: and there there are periods she is expected to sleep downstairs. If she makes a whine (only happened 3/4 times) then I will ignore her. I tend to sut her in the living room with the living room door shut and the door at the bottom of the stairs shut. Mean but after 2-3 minutes of whining she willa ccept she has to sleep there.


    I believe it is simply a case of restricing access and ignoring the behaviour you do not like.

    Try making you dog a 'special' cosy area to sleep in - or even keeping a radio on overnight just so theres some company to help him settle?

    I would try not to get angrivated or worked up though - If you do then your dog will pick up on it and it wont help the situation. You will just go in circles. ;)
     
  14. Owned By A Yellow Lab

    Owned By A Yellow Lab PetForums VIP

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    But perhaps if the person is new to the forum, they should have not jumped in and reprimanded me given that my post was perfectly polite....:)

    I always thought 'shouting' was when someone put just some of a post in capitals. I think I must be wrong on this though?


    TO THE OP:

    Your dog is gorgeous!

    Personally I would suggest not spanking him at all. I do agree that a very firm verbal correction is sometimes necessary, though.
     
  15. blossom21

    blossom21 PetForums Senior

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    Thank you what a charming person you are.Now I shall ask myself do I want to belong to a forum where someone such as yourself makes a relative newbie feel so welcome. Actually large text or capitals are both the equivalent of shouting.:mad: Thank you Milliepoochie for your comments I dont like having my head bitten off.
     
    #15 blossom21, Nov 21, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2012
  16. Milliepoochie

    Milliepoochie PetForums VIP

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    Stick around ;) We are a friendly bunch really :p

    Especially once you get to know peoples posting styles / who you tend to agree with / who riles you up (There is an ignore function somewhere apparently ;))
     
  17. Milliepoochie

    Milliepoochie PetForums VIP

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    The person did not reprimand you they asked why you were shouting :rolleyes: I think it was a mixture of the larger text and your writing style ;)

    Personally I also see having larger text as a method of shouting to - As if someone feels there point is of greater important hence must be shouted- must be written larger - must be seen ;)

    I dont think its up to Newbies to be scared of commenting or 'jumping in / reprimanding' as you put it if they dont understand why someone is using larger text but mix this with the fact they are prol not aware of your writing style / text size and thought you were shouting as apose to you always have that text size.

    Just my humble opinion :eek:

    Right off back to work :eek:
     
    #17 Milliepoochie, Nov 21, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2012
  18. canuckjill

    canuckjill PetForums VIP

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    Well now the explanations are in place, we can go back on topic...Thanks...
    Have you thought of crate training? or as others have said baby gates. Also the quiet command training works wonders, our male collie who was a kennel dog paces esp when the coyotes are out back. We trained him to the words quit pacing, took a while but he gets it now. I didn't stop all pacing otherwise he would prob just ignore me when I really want him to stop. BTW his pacing has naturally decreased now that he's been a house dog for almost 2 years....It takes time for dogs to adjust to new things and a new person in your room is a big new thing to a pooch...
     
  19. ouesi

    ouesi Guest

    Some dogs just feel the need to be close to their people. Its how they’re made and they get very distressed if they can’t be with their person. I’m not talking about separation anxiety, just velcro dogs.
    In our house 3 of our 4 dogs have to sleep in a bedroom. Not on the bed, but on a dog bed on the floor. The 4th has access to bedrooms but prefers to sleep by himself. Different dogs, different needs.

    Is there a particular reason you don’t want him in the bedroom? Allergies, preference?
    If its negotiable, I would look in to crate training at night with the crate in the bedroom. Eventually this can become simply a dog bed in the bedroom. Maybe also some white noise for both the humans and the dog. Something like a box fan? Eventually the dog will associate you putting on the fan with the family going to sleep and will follow along.
    Patience is the key here though :)

    Wouldn’t hurt to have a vet check and maybe examine what he’s eating. If his food is full of additives and colorings that can affect behavior as well.
     
  20. blossom21

    blossom21 PetForums Senior

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    Velcro dog I like that,thats what I shall call Bramble a velcro dog.:laugh:
     
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