Welcome to PetForums

Join thousands of other pet owners and pet lovers on the UK's most popular and friendly pet community and discussion forum.

Sign Up

please cheer me up!!...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by bullyb, Nov 29, 2007.


  1. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    im a bit fed up today, has anyone got a funny joke or story to cheer me up, please!!:(
     
  2. pkb1

    pkb1 PetForums Junior

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    2
    you might not find this funny but anyone who shows their dogs will.............

    THE DOG SHOW.

    First time at a dog show, I’ll tell you quite plain
    I’ll never, NO NEVER go back there again!
    The breeder said ’show him’ when I bought my dog,
    I showed him alright, the whole place was agog!!


    They gave me a number, they gave me a pin
    But I just couldn’t bear to stick the thing in !
    So I rushed to the shop and bought me some glue,
    And stuck the card onto his rear in the loo!

    We arrived at the ringside to find we were first
    In the puppy dog class (now here comes the worse!)
    We marched in together as fast as was able
    Arrived at the judge who said” up on the table’’

    This really surprised me, my skirt was quite tight,
    And I just couldn’t make it, though try as I might.
    The judge looked quite worried, he said’’ listen here ‘’
    Put the DOG on the table, NOT you my dear!

    By now I was trembling I felt such a fool,
    But I said to myself ‘ we’ll just play it cool ‘’,
    ‘how old’ said the judge, I heard it quite clear
    Well really I thought! And said’ thirty next year!’

    The steward, poor fellow, threw some kind of fit.
    He spluttered and coughed and his eyes ran a bit.
    ‘I’d have that cough seen to’ I said to him when
    He’d finally stopped coughing…but soon started again!
    ‘once round the ring dear…as fast as you can
    NOW said the judge so I just ran and ran.
    But, when I arrived, (out of breath I’ll admit)
    The judge said ‘ your DOG dear’ I felt such a twit !!

    Off round again, I kept my head bent
    Oh the shame of it all my pup went and went!
    A lady came running with bucket and spade
    With manure that’s so spicy she’s just got it made!

    We came back to the judge, who said with a frown
    ‘stand your dog’…I replied. .he’s not sitting down,
    ‘You can take first place stand’ he said ..I said ‘Ha’
    What a job I had getting that stand in the car……………..

    Pauline xx
     
  3. here we go;

    A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the
    superior culture.

    The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"

    The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum"

    The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians"

    The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on ...and then
    the Greek says:

    "We invented sex"

    The Italian says, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it
    to women.”
     
  4. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    hahaha!! to darren, elena and pauline.... you at least put a smile on my face!! very good!!!!:D:D
     
  5. Lovely. Now go and vote for my bro please.
     
  6. Magik

    Magik Guest

    thanks sis!!!!!!
     
  7. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    sigh...ive already voted....:(
     
  8. Magik

    Magik Guest

    yes and you definately made the wrong choice!!!
     
  9. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    no i didnt, thought very carefully about it.... anyway your supposed to be cheering me up cause i feel like s**t, stop having a go at me....:(
     
  10. Magik

    Magik Guest

    sorry... xxxx
     
  11. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    im sorry too, just having a bad day...:(
     
  12. Magik

    Magik Guest

    I feel bad because I'm in a really GOOD mood today!!!
     
  13. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    alright for some....
     
  14. Magik

    Magik Guest

    what's bothering you?.... cant be that bad? You got any booze in the house?

    whatever is making you sad... Just change it... easy as!
     
  15. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    you just dont understand.....:(
     
  16. Magik

    Magik Guest

    any problem can be fixed.....
     
  17. Are you in love with my bro?


    Here - have some chocolate!


    4 people in the carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young
    >blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman.
    >
    >It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark
    >there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from
    >the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red
    >mark on his cheek.
    >
    >The old lady thinks "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the
    >dark and she slapped him"
    >
    >The pretty young blonde thinks "I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me
    >in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him"
    >
    >The Frenchman thinks "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the
    >dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me"
    >
    >The Englishman thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so
    >I can slap that French tw*t again"

     
  18. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Likes Received:
    35
    aw thanks elena, chocolate always cheers me up :)
     
  19. Magik

    Magik Guest

    hmmm she didn't answer the question??
     
  20. nooo....she didnt......thats explains......
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice