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Pet Loss and Bereavement

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Jane Castleford, Mar 5, 2011.


  1. Jane Castleford

    Jane Castleford PetForums Newbie

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    Hello everyone. I've just joined the forum. I'm Jane Castleford and I am a counsellor specialising in pet loss and bereavement. I would be very happy to offer advice and guidance to anyone who is finding it hard to come to terms with the loss of a dearly beloved pet, for which there may be a number of reasons.
     
    #1 Jane Castleford, Mar 5, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2011
  2. hawksport

    hawksport Banned

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    Welcome to the forum
     
  3. suewhite

    suewhite PetForums VIP

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    Hi welcome to the forum:)
     
  4. katie200

    katie200 PetForums VIP

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    Hey welcome to et forum
     
  5. Angie2011

    Angie2011 PetForums VIP

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    Hi and welcome :) Angie
     
  6. Amethyst

    Amethyst PetForums VIP

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    Hello and welcome :)

    Purely out of interest, how did you train in this area? Do you work via a vet surgery or independently? Do you have a website :)
     
  7. critter

    critter PetForums VIP

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    Hi, welcome to the forum, why do I get the feeling I've welcomed you before?, your name seems awfully familiar. wayne.
     
  8. JANICE199

    JANICE199 PetForums VIP

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    [​IMG] Jane and welcome aboard.:D:D
     
  9. Jane Castleford

    Jane Castleford PetForums Newbie

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    Hi Amethyst
    I am a qualified counsellor and I have a degree in Animal Welfare. I am also the pet counsellor for Animals at Home UK. Over the years so many people have had problems losing their pets in various ways. These issues would be raised during their counselling sessions. They would be reluctant to seek counselling for this in the first place, as there is a tendency for many people to attach a stigma when dealing with pet bereavement. It can be felt the loss of a pet should not take a long time to recover from. This leaves the bereaved owner feeling isolated and secluded, I feel bereavement is bereavement. It is how you as a person feel about your loss, human or animal. With no disrespect to anyone who has lost a family member or close friend, some people really do deeply mourn the loss of their beloved pet/companion just as much.
    To help facilitate a service for these people I started my Pet Loss and Bereavement Counselling. I try to make it affordable to everyone and it has been very well received.
    I have a web site which is under construction at Pet Loss & Bereavement Counselling - In Times of Need
    Take care
    Jane
     
    Sacremist likes this.
  10. Jane Castleford

    Jane Castleford PetForums Newbie

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    Hi Wayne

    Thanks for the welcome.

    I have not been on the forum before so I have no idea why my name should sound familiar.....sorry :)

    Jane
     
  11. mezzer

    mezzer PetForums VIP

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    Hello and welcome to the forum :)
     
  12. gem1981

    gem1981 PetForums Newbie

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    Hello all

    I am new to here but needed to come somewhere where I can let out what I am feeling without making my other half feel bad.

    I lost my beloved cat, Murphy on Saturday. he was (we believe) knocked down and my boyfriend and I found him dead on the neighbours drive.

    I am seriously struggling to come to terms with this. I just want to curl up and cry most of the time. I am not interested in the gym, or work for that matter at the minute. I feel so deeply lost without him.

    I have had him for 5 years and we have been through a lot together and he helped me through a pretty tough break up. We were so close and I truly have had a piece of my heart die this weekend.

    I have lost two pets previously but that was due to old age and illnesses, but I am so angry with the person who hit my little man and with me. With me becuase I let him out on Friday night and I shouldn't have done. I knew when I got up Saturday morning in my heart that i had lost him as he had never been away this long. He loves his food.

    I miss him no longer cuddling up to me at night. We had a routine where he would lie next to me, almost in my arms and really snug into my belly. I am so missing that.

    I am missing not talking to him. If you know what i mean. How they purr back and you talk with them.

    As you can probably tell I just miss so much and nothing else at the minute seems to matter, especially work!!

    I am so tired too. Unbelievably so.


    Has any body else been through this and can give me some advice? I feel like I am lsoing my mind with being so tired and wanting to cry so much. I even dread coming to my house now becuase of the bad memories I asscoaite with it. I can not walk our dog past the neighbours house. I have to avoid it like the plague.

    Is this normal?

    Thank you.

    Gemma
     
    Sacremist likes this.
  13. Gina44

    Gina44 PetForums Newbie

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    Hello Jane
    Are you still around and available ?
    Gx
     
  14. Gina44

    Gina44 PetForums Newbie

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    Going through it right now Gemma lost my Gizmo on Saturday. Can't offer you any comfort at the moment but I do understand what you are going through.

    Gxx
     
  15. Ld1987

    Ld1987 PetForums Newbie

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    Hello,
    I have just lost my cat Whiskey, he was 24 years old, I am 30 now so as you can imagine I've had him more than half my life. The last 3 weeks he stopped eating and lost so much weight. Sunday night / Early hours of Monday we found him dead, half on / half off the sofa. I can only imagine he's used the last bit of strength he had to get up but didn't make it.
    Long story short, I feel absolutely devastated, I cannot stop crying and feeling guilt that I was not there when he passed. My tears are endless and I cannot cope with not seeing him again. I'm fed up of been told HE IS ONLY A CAT. it's so horrible, how do you deal with this.
     
  16. SpencerK

    SpencerK PetForums Member

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    Hello Jane, I lost my boy Barns 7 weeks ago and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. However, I have another cat and he is causing me some serious anxiety, every time I look at him, see him sitting outside, see him sniffing the ground or look agitated I keep thinking he is thinking, what I am thinking, that is how much we miss Barns, and how devastating life is now for us both. Is this just me projecting my guilt and pain onto my cat, do cats really suffer, do they feel - after 7 will Smegs still be missing Barns. Does he go outside and just sit there for him.

    They both grew up together - Barns was 16 when he passed.

    The thing about Smegs is that he is a moody cat - he didn't get treated well when he was a kitten, before he came to us, and this stuck with him forever. It took about 8 years before he could be near Barns without going for him. Now, he's left with a newer cat we have, and he HATES him - it used to be me, him and Barns. Now its just Me, him and B the new cat.

    So, do cats really suffer the way humans do, do I need to get emotional every time I see smegs sniff the floor, sit outside. We are getting another kitten this Friday, I know its not the best time, but I'm hoping that getting this kitten will basically break up the other two, so they wont focus on each other as much.

    Do cats suffer like we do, does he sit outside and think "I miss Barns so much my heart is going to break". I know the answer I suppose.. Just need to stop feeling so guilty and bad.

    Thanks Jane
     
  17. Mrs. TABBY LOVER

    Mrs. TABBY LOVER PetForums Newbie

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    I am recently struggling with the loss of 2 tabby kittens that were killed by my neighbors dogs. I still have 2 left which I have now brought in the house. The 4 kittens were left on my farm with no mother a Rd about 4 weeks old they are 5 months now. One was killed instantly and the other had a broken spine and gad to be put down. Since I gave had nightmares and am so stressed?
     
  18. Deborah Jukes

    Deborah Jukes PetForums Newbie

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    I can totally understand , my poor dogs heart stopped on Saturday morning and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I have two other dogs and feel so sad for them too. The wave of grief that comes over you is unbearable. My hubby goes away on Thursday for a week and I just hope I can cope . Thanks for listening
     
  19. kittih

    kittih PetForums VIP

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    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved member of the family can be so hard, especially if sudden and unexpected. The original poster has never returned to pet forums but you may find the bereavement service offered by blue cross very helpful. A friend of mine has used them and said they were excellent and she rang them several times.

    https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss
     
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  20. Deborah Jukes

    Deborah Jukes PetForums Newbie

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    Thanks Kittih I think I prefer to write my feelings down. If I talk it seems to upset me more. Just wish I didn't feel so dazed and think of something else for a while x
     
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