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Oh well....i told him

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ballybee, Apr 14, 2011.


  1. ballybee

    ballybee PetForums VIP

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    Hi all, some of you may remember my previous threads about my wanting to move out. Well on Saturday my OH broke the news that he intended for us to stay here until at least his 21st so his car insurance was much cheaper...now this is good logic but he won't be 21 until December 2012...well i snapped and told him exactly how i felt about that and how i felt in general(didn't talk about his parents problem though...i'm not ready for that fight just yet).

    As i expected...he took it very badly and had a go at me for feeling like i didn't belong here and wanting my own place(he still doesn't understand why i want my own place), i didn't speak until he calmed down a bit.

    So to wrap that up...he now knows and it hasn't made a blind bit of difference to him...he's staying here until 2013(providing the world doesn't end) and if i move out we're no longer together(wasn't said but thats the message he was giving me). On the bright side...Sunday, Monday and Tuesday he was very attentive and getting me doing things with him and Tummel which was nice and made me feel a bit happier but today it's gone right back to how it was....he's away out doing what he likes and i'm stuck in the room with nothing to do...when he comes home he takes the computer for himself and does whatever he pleases!!!

    So tonight i'm feeling very downheartened about my situation and i've decided i'm going to start saving up any pennies i can spare to move out...if he decides he doesn't want to be with me then fine...i've put everyone else first for far too long and it stops tonight. I can't actually move out for the next 11 months as i've just paid for a years insurance for OH's new car(the agreement is that he pays me back a certain amount each month as i had a windfall last week and i'm hoping this means he'll be more willing to take me places) which i know was stupid but i trust him to pay me back.

    Sorry for the long post...i just really needed a rant :(
     
  2. bexy1989

    bexy1989 PetForums VIP

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    oh im so sorry :(

    thats not fair on you at all :( i hope it all works out in the end for you :(

    big hugs going your way :( xxx
     
  3. ballybee

    ballybee PetForums VIP

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    Thanks...i'm so fed up with everything at the moment, even getting the money just made me more stressed as i knew i'd end up using it for something like this....i'm just glad it's going to him and not his parents but then i'm worried as the insurance was so cheap(compared to what he'd been quoted) that they'll think they can take more money off him but because it's to do with his parents i can't speak to him about it.
     
  4. Gratch

    Gratch PetForums VIP

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    Can't you insist on the money back from his parents? Honestly, sod him. I've been through that situation before and the only reason me and OH are in our own place is because he got fed up of his mom having a go. If he insists on being babied, let him, just don't tie yourself down.
     
  5. ballybee

    ballybee PetForums VIP

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    It's not me they owe...it's him they constantly take money from him even though we have an agreed rent and pay for the sky(over £120 a month thanks to his parents being on the phone constantly, they say they'll pay it and then don't). He gets really angry but won't stop giving them money as he's worried his 3 younger brothers won't get fed properly as they spend all their money on beer.

    I haven't got anywhere to go...hence the saving up part but i have to agree on the sodding him part if he refuses to come with me...i've given up hoping he'll decide to move out now so as soon as i can afford to go i'm going(and taking Tummel with me even if it results in a fight...i walk, feed, train and play with him everyday and have done since we got him...OH just chips in when he wants to).

    I just feel so empty....i hate feeling like this(a sort of constant nothingness...no emotion, no needs etc), it comes and goes depending on the day but todays just been so rubbish for me...i just paid almost £2000 for my OH's car insurance yet he couldn't be bothered to take me to PAH (about 20 minutes away) to buy a few essentials for Tummel :mad:
     
  6. sailor

    sailor PetForums VIP

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    No offence, but after the ex I once had, I wouldn`t hang around in a relationship where I was left feeling like that.... and being treated like that.

    Get out as soon as you can and start living girl :D you should have used that £2000, to take your test and buy yourself a little run about and flicked him the Vs as you drove off with Tummel :cool:

    I would rather live in a car than live in disapoointment :D but thats just me
     
  7. Pointermum

    Pointermum PetForums VIP

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    Tell him not to bank on car insurance being cheaper when his 21 my sister has a year or two's no claims, she's 21 and her car insurance has just gone up £200 next month when it's for renewal :rolleyes:
     
  8. Sarah+Hammies

    Sarah+Hammies PetForums VIP

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    I second this! :D I certainly wouldnt hang around to be pushed aside and treated like a door mat!

    With regards to his car insurance, cant you get it cancelled and get some reimbursed if you do decide to go your own way? (I cancelled my insurance in December after having paid up front for it, i only had the car for 8 months and paid for the year I got a few hundred back)

    Big hugs hun (((hugs))) I hope it works out in the end xxx
     
  9. Dogless

    Dogless PetForums VIP

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    Oh no :(

    Better to know where you both stand though...no more advice other than that you have already had.
     
  10. DaisytheTT

    DaisytheTT PetForums Senior

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    I remember your original post well. I'm so sorry it's reached this point, but I would like to reitirate (sp?) what others have said and start saving you pennies and planning for a brighter future in your own place whether you are with your OH or not.

    A relationship is a two way street but the way your OH is acting he's making it one way with a dead end :(

    Put yourself and Tummel first from now on.
     
  11. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    Yep it sure looks like it is going in that direction, start saving girl, coz he isn't going to change his mind, he will find another excuse when he is 21, I would of kept the money and paid for bond and rent in my own place and if he wanted to come....if he loved you enough he would of. He have got it made living with his parents, so he will have a big shock when he eventually moves into his own place...and he will have to one day. It is time for you to start to think about YOU and YOUR life now and not anyone else's. Sounds to me like all he wants is a woman like his mother to mother him, and a maid to cook, clean and look out for him and someone to bail him out when money is needed.
    You must start to think about yourself now. Good luck in your search and hope you find something really nice. xxx
     
  12. piggybaker

    piggybaker PetForums VIP

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    Can I ask as I don't know the whole history,, where are your parents / family in all this,, how did you get yourself into living in this situation.
     
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