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O/H hates the puppy...

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Emraa, Jul 1, 2009.


  1. Emraa

    Emraa PetForums Senior

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    I got Bella just over a week ago, my other half agreed to getting a dog providing there were guidelines, as he isn't really a dog lover.
    We discussed it for months and decided where the dog was going to sleep, where the dog could/could not go etc etc.

    So when I bought Bella home he just ignored her, of course this made her more curious so wouldn't leave him alone.
    On the second day he played with her and even let her sit on his lap, promising I thought.

    Now it has all changed, he complains when the dog is the the same room as us, moans when she is chewing something a little too loudly and says he doens't get a moment with me becasue I am always 'chasing after that bloody dog'!
    Bella is just 12 weeks and into everything, as you klnow she cannot be left just to get on with it because she will get up to all kinds of mischief and may even hurt herself. I have explained that it won't always be like this and that he need to just give her a chance.

    I think it comes down to jealousy as Bella comes first at the moment and not him!

    Anyone had similar experiences? I think Bella is picking up on the bad vibes and I am worried is may affect her behaviour.

    Thanks
     
  2. bird

    bird PetForums VIP

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    Sounds like he's a bit jealous, as he wasnt into dogs that much probably didnt realise how much time is invested in them especially when they're babies. Just like children really. Give it time it will get better, probably when you can start walking it. ;)
     
  3. Becci-in-Hull

    Becci-in-Hull PetForums Junior

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    Erm, My husband loves the good bits (ie, when Marley is sat quietly or asleep or playing fetch) But when he has a tinkle on the floor, or chews his shoes that hes left on the floor instead of putting them away like I tell him to, then its a different matter.

    He is totally obsesed that "if it were a rottie, it would of been different" but like I point ot, Marley is a lab and alot safer with my daughter of 2 at this moment in time.

    Im stressed to the max, because Im trying to re-train Harmony, actually train Marley, walk harmony twice a day, raise my 2 year old daughter (plus he wants another baby), decorate our new house and clean it. To be honest I liked the idea of another dog but dident really want one at this moment but if I hadnt got marley when I did he was going to get a rottie the next day and we had already been warned they were aggressive!! He doesnt help to train or walk the dogs either:eek:

    Anyway, sorry about me going on a tangent a bit and rambling on but I really needed to get it off my chest. lol.:D
     
  4. kittykat

    kittykat PetForums VIP

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    I don't think getting another dog is a good idea at the moment as it seems you have alot on your plate.

    However I must point out that Rotties arent "aggressive" at all if brought up properly! ANY dog brought up badly can be agressive and I have seen more than my fair share of little yappers who try to fight with every dog they see!

    All the rotties I know that have good owners are loving, friendly and soppy as a new born kitty!
     
  5. scosha37

    scosha37 PetForums VIP

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    OOh dear thats a shame..:( i would have that

    Dogs can sense whos good to them.. he maybe jealous of her getting the attention because men can be like that..you need to speak to him before it stress's you out and dog as well..

    good luck
     
  6. Emraa

    Emraa PetForums Senior

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    I already walk Bella, she goes to the beach in the morning and a proper 15 minutes walk in the evening but he wants no part in it, he just says 'take your time'!
    Bella can't do anything right but she is such a good pup, but a pup all the same! He tells me to put her in her room or he goes upstairs to watch TV or go on the computer. He is really cutting himself off from us both. Bella's room is for 'quiet' time, so she is put in there to sleep, I don't want her to see it as punishment when she hasn't done anything wrong!

    He doesn't even like the good bits Becci! I can relate to your stress!

    I have spoken to him (every night in fact!) and he just says 'I didn't realise it would be like this' but I have never had a pup either so it's a new experience for us both.
    He has really dug his heels in and I am afraid he will never get used to her and won't be willing to give her a chance. I am waiting for 'it's me or the dog'!
     
    #6 Emraa, Jul 1, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2009
  7. Izzie999

    Izzie999 PetForums VIP

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    Hi,

    Do you think he agreed to the puppy just to keep you quiet lol! I have exactly the same with my cats. Its so unfair because at the end of the day he agreed to the puppy being there, You are trying to keep to the rules but you can't have the puppy in a room away from him. He has to make some effort and give the puppy a chance!

    You need to get him involved as possible and if he doesn't want to be involved he has to understand that you have taken on this little life and you have to look after her. It does sound like jealousy to me. Try ignoring the moaning and don't let it upset you. I had to get very firm and say the cats are here to stay, stop moaning, every time you react to the moaning he will do it more sadly. Just try and not react and enjoy Bella! Men are such a pain in the butt like this.

    Izzie
     
  8. Izzie999

    Izzie999 PetForums VIP

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    Hi,

    If he does give you the ultimatum do not rehome the pup. I have had this scenario in the past I have given in every single time. Nowadays I don't, if he can't accept the puppy that is his issue! He sounds like he is throwing his toys out the pram to be honest. Don't let the puppy be put in a room so she is out of his way, she doesn't deserve that. Its not like you got the puppy behind his back is it! I think he is being horribly unfair!:mad:

    Izzie
     
  9. As others have said I think that your partner has a touch of the green eyed monster! Unfair of me to say but I suspect that you may soon be having to deal with the 'It's me or the dog senario' At such a tender age your pup really needs interation with both male an female humans oftherwise there is a fear that he could grow up with a fear of men!

    I would try (albeit it sounds like you have) to have a really serious chat with your other half and maybe come to some arrangement whereby you can jointly spend time together with the pup!

    Do you not if you have suggested another dog but see this has been mentioned by others! I'd say that is a definate NO NO!

    I do not know your home/working/living arrangements but so cannot really suject anything constructive other then trying to appeal to your partners better nature.
    good luck
    regards
    DT
     
  10. Becci-in-Hull

    Becci-in-Hull PetForums Junior

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    KittyKat,

    I already have the pup hun. As for rotties, I know lots off ppl who have them to, and they are ace with there kids to. However, having been told from the rspca that they were showing extream aggression for puppys then I had to air on the side of caution as it would have been coming into a home with my 2 year old daughter. If I didnt have my daughter I would have had 1 as I would have time to train it before it been around children.

    I was just trying to be brief on this thread but you can see past posts where I have explained about this situation before, also.:)
     
  11. kittykat

    kittykat PetForums VIP

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    Sorry I just really hate it that rotties get bad press, I admit I dont usually post in the dog section so havent read any of your previous posts. In your case I wouldnt of gone for one of the RSPCA ones either!

    No hard feelings I hope :)
     
  12. nerd of prey

    nerd of prey PetForums Junior

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    I would ignore you O/H to honest he sound like he is having a man sulk. Bella is just a puppy doing normal puppy stuff as he hasn't had a dog before he just need adjustment time, has he had other pets before or looked after small children? If he has no experience of these things he may find it difficult to get out of his comfortable routine, he is probably used to being quite selfish, getting his own way etc. I don't mean this in a mean way, even the nicest men can just be quite childish.

    I think he will get over it and as long he's not being overly hostile to Bella it won't do her any harm in fact it might be positive for her to learn that she can't get affection all the time and may prevent her from developing separation issues in the future. However she does need to get used to men and people at such a young age
     
    #12 nerd of prey, Jul 1, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2009
  13. JSR

    JSR PetForums VIP

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    Oh what a shame, he's missing out on the really lovely times of having a dog. Sounds like you've tried everything I'd have suggested. I think a good long honest chat is the only option. I do hope you can work it out. The alternative is do what I did..dump the hubby and have a house full of dogs instead! Much cheaper, more fun and LOTS less complaints!!! (That said my fella now is fabulous and loves the dogs as much as me!!;))
     
  14. suzy93074

    suzy93074 PetForums VIP

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    I think your OH is being extremely unfair and selfish to both you and the pup....he said yes to the pup ! so must really make the effort and invest time too, as any pet should become part of the family in my eyes , and not have to pussyfoot round! My Oh was not particularly keen on me getting a cat and admit I did pester him - we do have guidlines but im thankfull that my partner was "willing" to get involved and ended up bonding massivley with "our cat" so much so that he says if we ever break up we will have to fight over who gets him! I hope you can come to some sort of conclusion that benefits your pup and you - good luckxxxx
     
  15. Becci-in-Hull

    Becci-in-Hull PetForums Junior

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    Me to, especially as most of them would take anything to protect there owners, I have agreed that maybe in a few years that we can look at a Rottie, but them particular dogs wernt for us, but true to form my husband goes in all guns blazing! :cursing:

    As for hard feelings, never hun. xx all happy this end xx

    Im just not very good at putting things into words, and its really difficult to put long situation and years worth of talking in a short thread.:blushing:
     
  16. nerd of prey

    nerd of prey PetForums Junior

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    If he gave a 'its me or the dog scenario' I would pick the dog. Having a puppy is a big change but he agreed to it and now its his responsibility and he should deal with it like an adult.
     
    suzy93074 likes this.
  17. bichonsrus

    bichonsrus PetForums Senior

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    My ex wasnt an animal lover at all, we rescued a cat, which still lives at my home, but he just hissed at it??? yes thank god he is my ex lol. The first thing i thought about when we split up was how nice it would be to be able to get a dog for a companion for me and the kids, help them cope with the split etc. Well he hates to see us all happy, with the dogs and growing family of pets, he is always trying to get the kids to say they dont want them here anymore, they never have yet but it doesnt stop him from trying, it really anoys me, its not as if he lives here in my home, why the hell should he put his opinions onto my children?? They take no notice of him though, they know how he is stuck in his ways, the only time i saw him smile at my dogs was when my girl had the pups , he was quite taken with them, but that was it lol, now its back to saying to the kids , you dont want all those dogs do you kids, they must get on your nerves, etc.oooooo i could scream sometimes, good job im a diplomatic kinda person, to nice for my own good lol.
     
  18. nerd of prey

    nerd of prey PetForums Junior

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    Haha Living the dream!
     
  19. JuNeil

    JuNeil PetForums Member

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    I would agree that the first couple of weeks are pretty hard with a new pup especially if you haven't had one before (like us) however I find it hard to believe that he hasn't melted yet like my hubby did.

    My husband still says - "what have we got ourselves into?" - as he looks at Bentley snoring and snuffling asleep on the living room floor but he absolutely adores him and is constantly covered in dog hairs and drool with not a care in the world. I never thought this would happen as he is always ultra clean and tidy!

    I would give him at least another couple of weeks and maybe leave them alone in a room and sneek a peak at them while your OH isn't looking. He may well just give her a sneaky stroke or cuddle when he knows you aren't around - you never know!

    I would agree with the jealousy thing from men. They do feel a bit put out at first so I would try and make sure he gets extra attention too! Tiring I know but may be needed during these first few weeks.:Yawn:
    Julia
     
  20. bichonsrus

    bichonsrus PetForums Senior

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    big jealousy problem......if it hadnt been the dog it would of been something else, like children oh and then where would you of been :eek:
     
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