The New York Stock-Exchange dropped 1200 points today after a rumor that Cher and Barbara Streisand really are going to retire, and that plans for their double-bill tour have been canceled. :crying: thankfully, the rumor was false, and on the strength of a rebound in futures on tube-tops, knee-high boots and falsies, the Exchange gained 1600 points, closing with a net-gain of 400 points in just 2 hours. YouTube - Lily Tomlin & Cher Bono Gossip the CEO of BleePee Petrochemicals has been reproved by the MMS for texting via Twitter that quote, we just knocked-out Flipper, turtle-exclusion traps, those #$@! pellicans, and Fla-property values... at once. its a record. un-quote. the un-employment rate has been re-calculated - the data used were first changed by the Reagan administration, and changed again by every administration since - they have not counted persons who are called the *discouraged unemployed* in decades - these are persons who have been so long unemployed and so often rejected by potential employers, they have stopped seeking work. the Federal government has now decided to stop tallying the *unenthusiastic unemployed*, which includes women who no longer spend 45-minutes applying make-up for interviews, men who no longer shower before interviews, and 20-somethings who leave the post-and-chain swags in their piercings for interviews, as well as all those of any age or gender who refuse to wear sleeves over their tattoos, however inappropriate.