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Not cat related. Work issues.Also

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by cheekyscrip, Feb 12, 2019 at 10:16 PM.


  1. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

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    When I was employed my boss took me on with full knowledge of my child being ill.
    Told me not to worry.
    Then the new boss came, unhappy with my hours, so had to work longer.
    Fine.
    Now my child needs serious surgery.

    Asked my teammate if she planned anything June/July as until March I will not know when exactly it will be.
    She said she didn’t plan anything.
    Asked her few times to make sure.

    Yesterday she told me she booked holiday in July and already put it on the planner.

    I told my boss she told me she didn’t have anything and that I will need four weeks around that time ( my dd is a teenager, Dad cannot care for her).

    My boss answered he cannot approve four weeks together and that I am unreasonable, first come first served and she can have it if not booked.

    I wonder if not to hand in the notice.

    There might be another job coming, though still same problem...

    But I really think if not to give a notice.

    I would not do it to my teammate ever.
    She has no family and kept telling me she doesn’t take time off in the summer.

    Now she told the boss she told me she said she has not planned anything yet then but changed her mind...
     
  2. lea247

    lea247 PetForums VIP

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    Have you not got a paper trail of what your work mate has been saying to you? What does it say in your contract about taking time off to care for children? Pretty sure if you were the one having surgery then your boss would have no choice is having to allow you time off. Do you also have a paper trail of your boss saying you're unreasonable?

    Have you thought about getting your union involved?

    Sorry for all the questions! Hope it gets sorted somehow and you can care for your daughter without any other worries.
     
  3. KCTT

    KCTT PetForums VIP

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    Can you look into parental leave? I know it’s unpaid so not ideal but would allow you the time you need off. Not sure they could refuse this legally.
     
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  4. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

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    Thank you, will talk today to HR.
    I haven’t take a day of sick leave - ever. Regardless if wasn’t too well.
    Wasn’t late even once.
    Hardly ever- maybe twice took time to go with my dd.


    It is more the behaviour of my teammate that hurts.

    I really needed to get it of my chest, thank you.

    I really question if I want to work for my boss or with this girl.

    People tend to surprise me.

    There is something else I can get , new field but if people are decent?
     
  5. idris

    idris absent without leave

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    im so sorry:( its stressful enough having kids poorly without added worry.
    upaid parental leave is something i think bosses in the uk have to honour .
    https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/notice-period
    i hope you can get something sorted
     
  6. jasperthecat

    jasperthecat My best buddy.

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    Can you not find a another job and a more sympathetic employer who allows you to take off the time you require to care for your child? Your child's health and your own well being must come first.

    I've never worked for anyone else as during my entire working life, I was always self employed on my own behalf so have never been in that position though I did have to work around clients so I can appreciate and see the issues from both sides and try to remain impartial in how I see it though it would help if posters actually stated in which country they live as often laws surrounding employment and length of time employed vary from country to country.

    When you say the new boss came, do you mean an actual new 'owner' of the business or just someone higher up the ladder replacing his equivalent who'd moved on? If it's the latter, then you could perhaps take the matter to his superiors who may be a little more understanding and sympathetic. If you mean a new owner of the business you work for then it would really depend upon your working contract as to whether he has a duty to honour any agreement made at the time of employing you and whether he has a right to change terms and conditions of employment if indeed they have done.

    One would think any reasonable employer with a sufficient number of employees at their disposal when faced with an employee's dilemma like this and based on common sense and goodwill would find a solution but if the boss had only a very limited number of staff to call upon for cover while you're off, given that four consecutive weeks absence could affect the running of many small employer's businesses, I can see why employers might be reluctant to agree to this unless the employment contract expressly covered this.
    It also has to be appreciated that the boss can't simply favour certain employees or dictate to others that they have to change their booked-off dates to cater for such as yourself. That is usually sorted and negotiated between employees without employer's getting too much involved other than final say. It may also be that your work colleague has simply changed their minds about when they want time off which they are entitled to do.

    My OH and I have no children even though she is of childbearing age and she works in an office full of females in Social Services. When they signed their working contracts some had children and the contracts plus the nature of the work required them to be available to work occasional unsociable working hours or Saturdays and they were all happy to agree to this including those with children but as soon as they had the contracts in their hands, many simply couldn't/wouldn't work the agreed hours because they had children and it was always left to people like my OH to work the unsociable hours or work during what would be national holiday periods etc which could be perceived as somewhat unfair and arguably poor staff management by superiors.
    This is not a criticism of you as you appear to have a genuine case, particularly as you're giving everyone fair warning of what is likely to happen. Again what would happen if you were taken ill and needed 4 weeks off?

    One question and without wishing to pry.. Why can't your child's dad assist with care for his child? That might be a solution if some agreement and delegation of care can be reached between you both so that you don't need take off 4 weeks..

    Personally speaking, being a rather strong willed independent person myself, as you seem to be behaving reasonably, unless you desperately need the income, if I was in your shoes I would be inclined to hand in your notice if no amicable solution can be found and look elsewhere for employment with a more sympathetic employer or when things have settled down after your child's surgery, otherwise by remaining where you are now it could put you under undue and unnecessary stress and ill-feeling that you can simply do without.

    On the other hand if no amicable solution can be found then you could brazen it out and rather than handing in your notice, you could go ahead and state your intentions and simply see how your boss responds..if he dismisses you then you may well have grounds for unfair dismissal under the circumstances and if not then moving on might have been the right decision as having a child needing care requires a sympathetic boss.

    In any event I do wish you and your child well and I hope everything works out for you.







    .
     
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  7. NFC slave

    NFC slave PetForums Senior

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    Sorry, I expect. Will be slated for this, but I don't think your work mate is at fault, it is your boss that is being unreasonable. Your colleagues are entitled to annual leave and to ask them to postpone planning anything until you know your schedule is unfair. Your boss needs to have adequate cover, whether permanent or temporary staff, that is his problem however, but maybe your colleague has some important mission too,. Your choice whether you take the time off and risk the consequences or just leave the job, but you are being a little unfair in blaming your colleague. Hope it all goes well for you x
     
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  8. MilleD

    MilleD PetForums VIP

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    I agree with this. I've spent a lifetime at work being made to feel that my leave is less important than my work colleagues because they have kids and I don't.

    It's absolutely up to the management to sort cover if needed and ensure the work is done.

    I hope everything works out, but it's management not your colleague that you should have beef with.
     
  9. KCTT

    KCTT PetForums VIP

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    I agree with @NFC slave I don’t think anything will have been done maliciously it’s probably a case of plans changed and they haven’t given thought to any previous conversations. I know I have been guilty of that in the past, been invited somewhere checked the holiday file put a form in and not given it a second thought. I don’t have family in the sense of kids but do still have other family and friends that sometimes ask me to do things that I would like to.
     
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  10. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

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    Today my teammate lied brazenly that she only reserved that time , but not booked anything, but yesterday told me she paid the flights etc..
    When she wanted Christmas and New Year I told her to have it all (no matter my kids off school and son visiting only for few days).
    I told her as she has family in UK it is obvious she wants to go and I will see mine anyhow as they are here.
    For many years when I had no kids I would cover for a colleague with a sick child etc...

    As to another job - there is one but I told them I need four weeks in summer, if they wanted me.
    My OH cannot care for a teenager- girl - washing her etc...

    This full back surgery and long recovery time till she can fly home - because of blood clots... not until healed well.
    Four weeks is the minimum, might be longer and OH will have to go eventually.

    I can train another girl to cover the most pressing aspects as she is working in this system and will pick it up, but then another one has to cover her work and she is an Office Btch, but as you rightly say the Boss has the decision.

    Else I give him my notice.
    Or cynically take two weeks, then a sick leave. After all hospital is full of doctors!


    I never had a sick note, cannot even remember if ever...
    I just go to work and share my flu...
    After all is not a coal mine...

    Told HR that if I must then I will give my notice....
    Boss today wrote he will try to see who can cover...


    Still if my teammate was asked a few times and she said she had nothing planned and didn’t need any time off around June/ July then she should have honour it, Boss was happy for her to take a day or two when I am away...

    Thank you very much all.
    Not sure if our law gives you parental leave- only in government jobs I think...

    I like my work ... but my duty is by my child first
     
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  11. Linda Weasel

    Linda Weasel PetForums Senior

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    Tell them you WILL have the time off for childcare. If you can do this by e-mail (ask for a reply) then that is best as you will have a record.

    Obviously you will be taking time off anyway for your child; then see what happens.
     
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  12. Vanessa131

    Vanessa131 PetForums VIP

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    Colleagues have to honour nothing, if she has booked time off that really is none of your business. I had nothing planned for next week until three days ago, that doesn’t mean i can’t then make plans.

    Your colleagues time off is none of your business, so please don’t go getting yourself into trouble, it really isn’t worth it.

    Ideally each parent will take half of the recovery time off, you’ll just both have to take a photocopy of the appointment letter to HR and your line managers. I don’t understand why the other parent can’t help her, unless he has a disability which would make that difficult for him of course.
     
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  13. Brrosa

    Brrosa Cat Slave

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    If you could get a part day (or full day) care help here and there throughout the 4 weeks, while you go to work at those times, then this might help your company cover the full period.
    Or, is it possible to work remotely an hour or two some of the time.
    I agree with the other posts above that you can’t insist on other employees not booking certain weeks - you have to agree time off flexibility with your boss as soon as you know it might be needed. Your colleague would likely only book the flights once the holiday dates are agreed by the employer. Your colleague is unlikely to be choosing their holiday dates to upset you but more because it is the best timing especially if they are going or meeting with someone else
    I hope everything works out
     
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  14. NFC slave

    NFC slave PetForums Senior

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    Many years since kids were young, but as a single parent when all three of them went down with chickenpox I had problems. My company let me go to work an hour early, before the kids had stirred, and work until mid day, then the rest of he day off. Yes, I know it meant leaving them alone but I had no choice as I was their sole provider. My company paid me for the time off and fortunately it wasn't for too long, but with two parents sharing it should be ok. I don't understand why her dad can't care for her, she is a teenager so will be able to do some things for herself even if bed bound. Are you able to say what this operation is for, might make it easier for us to make other suggestions
     
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  15. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

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    No, she can't "insist". However she did ask, repeatedly. There is such a thing as consideration for other people. We practice that where I work. We're union and have a "right" to take our leave whenever we want but we always clear it with our associates and boss before making plans. When it comes to family (or self) illness though, we don't worry about coverage. We know the others, including the boss, will pick up the slack while we care for our family member (or self).

    Ultimately @cheekyscrip your child's needs will come first, and your company will just have to cope without you and your co-worker for that period the co-worker is on vacation. The co-worker's choices have made this more stressful for you, but now it's time to let it go and move on with your own plans. Let the boss worry about it.

    PS I don't agree with you going to work sick though (as you said in another post). That isn't anything to be proud of. Sick people at work reduce productivity and cost more money than sick pay. :)
     
  16. KCTT

    KCTT PetForums VIP

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    We too in work have a similar policy and try to be considerate of everyone’s needs. For example a colleague is getting married next week so I wouldn’t put in any holidays to clash. However if I was asked not to make any plans for June or July until March that may be more difficult for me to manage. I probably would have given a heads up I was requesting the leave but if I needed the time I would have requested it.

    Ultimately the people who need to manage this is the employer. They can request the colleague changes holiday if required that can and does happen here.
     
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  17. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

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    Told my manager, who is a nice guy, that I will go and that is that.

    I don’t like the response from my boss, though later he added that all depends, if the other can cover .

    Meanwhile waiting for the firm offer from the other company...

    Tbh the decision is between work I already know, but working with people who disappointed me or try again something new and have the pressure of learning from the scratch.

    I put lots of hard work and I am now fairly competent in what I do...
    Funny thing two headhunters got in touch with me...how those things get around?

    But for now it is my child who is my duty, not my company - sorry Boss!
     
    #17 cheekyscrip, Feb 14, 2019 at 7:45 PM
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019 at 9:38 PM
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  18. Jobeth

    Jobeth PetForums VIP

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    Have a look at discrimination by association and check if it applies in Gibraltar.
     
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  19. Brrosa

    Brrosa Cat Slave

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    I agree with you, but asking someone not to book anytime during a 2 month period (in the summer months) is difficult to expect somebody to keep to.
     
  20. O2.0

    O2.0 PetForums VIP

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    I can't imagine asking one of my co-workers to arrange their time off around mine. But then I have my own issues and have trouble reaching out for help.
    Even so though, not everyone shares their hardships. Just because a co-worker doesn't have kids doesn't mean they don't have personal issues that they have to take time off for. There may be a parent with a difficult diagnosis that needs care, there may be a sibling in and out of rehab that the coworker doesn't want to talk about, there are all sorts of very real personal issues that we all have to tend to that we may or may not want to share with others.
    Having a shareable 'reason' for needing time off doesn't make your time any more valuable than anyone else's.
    JMO though. Like I said, I have my own issues LOL!
     
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