Welcome to PetForums

Join thousands of other pet owners and pet lovers on the UK's most popular and friendly pet community and discussion forum.

Sign Up

no offence intended, just a joke!!!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ninja, Aug 2, 2009.

  1. ninja

    ninja PetForums VIP

    Jan 4, 2009
    Likes Received:
    Answering Service At The Mental Institute

    "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

    If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

    If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
  2. DevilDogz

    DevilDogz Guest

    he he..Thats a goodun Ninja!!
  3. Buggles

    Buggles PetForums Senior

    Jul 14, 2009
    Likes Received:
    Yes, funny, but I don't get the dyslexic one. What has numbers got to do with dyslexia?? My brother is severely dyslexic and has no problem with numbers.
  4. SeaThreePeeO

    SeaThreePeeO PetForums VIP

    Sep 15, 2008
    Likes Received:
    LOL good one :D

    Some people with dyslexia transpose numbers, for example they could write the number 3 backwards and double digit numbers such as 83 could become 38. However it is usually corrected by the time they end primary school. At least mind was.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice