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New puppy regrets.. advice please.

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Rubyritz09, Oct 7, 2019.


  1. Rubyritz09

    Rubyritz09 PetForums Newbie

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    Hi everyone I need advice.

    We’ve been thinking about a dog for ages and always liked the frenchies. We felt it was the middle ground for us in terms of size and excersise needs.

    My OH has been keen as was I but I do a lot of research compared to
    Him. We had put a deposit down and then I was in a few other French bulldog forums. I saw the sheer amount of concerns raised by other owners about Illnesses and being left alone.

    I started having doubts and thinking maybe it wasn’t a good idea seen as we work and the dog would be on his own 3 days a week 8-4 with someone letting it out for the toilet mid day.

    My partner kept saying it was fine and I spoke to the breeder who also worked and said they would be fine.

    However, the more and more I read the more anxiety I get feeling like I’ve made a mistake. I’ve voiced this to my partner and he said all
    Dogs accustomise but I said that all dogs aren’t French bulldogs and maybe we need to consider this breed is more specific to seperation anxiety.

    I’ve suggested maybe giving the dog back to the breeder whilst he is young enough to be rehomed. In all honesty I don’t think they care much as they didn’t ask us any questions about our lifestyle and maybe if they had it may have made him think. I’m the one worried that is leaving him will cause seperation anxiety and am worried about how this will affect the dog as he gets older but my
    Partner thinks I’m being stupid. When I’ve mentioned taking the dog back he says he wants nothing to do with it and said I can arranage it all on my own.

    The dog so far is a really good pup. Sleeps a lot, learning basic commands, sleep through the night and is getting some toilet training. My partner said it’s the best pup he’s had but I said he isn’t no where near being a teenage dog yet and the worst is yet to come.

    What shall I do? Would the breeder take it back, have I lost all the money? Am I wrong to worry or am I right? I just want to do right by the dog.
     
  2. Burrowzig

    Burrowzig PetForums VIP

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    But there's no sign of separation anxiety at the moment? How long have you had him?
    Why meet trouble half way?
    If you're aware of potential problems with separation anxiety, you can put measures in place to avoid it. Perhaps a dog walker or someone to spend more time than just letting him out mid-day - instead staying for an hour or so and doing some training and games. This is a service some pet sitters/walkers offer.
    And if the breeders didn't ask questions about your life, and have a paper contract about what would happen if you couldn't keep him, it's likely they don't give a stuff and only wanted the money, so going back there would be the worst option. It sounds like things are going as well as they could with a young puppy.
     
  3. Blitz

    Blitz PetForums VIP

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    I would suggest you stop reading things like that. Why would a french bulldog be any different than any other breed for being left. You often find people saying 'their' breed should not be left, no idea why!

    The health problems are real though and so I hope you have good insurance as there could be major expense in the future.
     
  4. Burrowzig

    Burrowzig PetForums VIP

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    'cos they want to think they're SO special......
     
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  5. Veba

    Veba PetForums Member

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    Or because when doing research you come across lots of sites saying which breeds aren't the best at being left alone. This was a concern of mine too.
     
  6. Rubyritz09

    Rubyritz09 PetForums Newbie

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    I like to be prepared but now feel anxious.

    I’ve got insurance and joined a pet plan for the dogs vaccinations.

    I’ve bought a doggy camera && arranged a dog walker but can’t always afford for the dog walker to come each week.

    It’s stuff my partner didn’t account for
     
  7. Sairy

    Sairy PetForums VIP

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    Just to help put things into perspective I googled "leaving german shepherd home alone" to see what advice I get. Below is a direct quote from one of the top sites that came up:

    "Separation anxiety is common in dogs and especially GSDs. We all know that GSDs are very affectionate and loyal dogs. They love spending time with their owners and protect them from threats. However, a GSD becomes weak and shows signs of aggression and bad behavior when they are left alone. It gives them a feeling of anxiety and extreme stress."

    Well my OH and I both work full time. Our situation was different when we got our GSD pup, but these days she gets left 8 hours with a dog-walker coming in on Tuesday and Thursday and she is absolutely fine. We have a camera and regularly check up on her during the day and she just sleeps. Certainly no signs of anxiety or aggression. Every dog is different of course so you will need to work with the dog in front of you, but you can make it work.

    As a young pup I would ideally not want to leave him for more than a couple of hours at a time initially as he won't be able to hold his toilet for long, but this can be gradually extended.
     
    #7 Sairy, Oct 7, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2019
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  8. Rubyritz09

    Rubyritz09 PetForums Newbie

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    Thanks for that everyone. I think I’ve read so much online I feel awful about it and have anxiety over leaving him and causing damage. He was left twice yday and the evening was so destructive compared to the weekend when someone’s here. Maybe I’m being to saft about it.
     
  9. Sairy

    Sairy PetForums VIP

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    How long did you leave him for yesterday and how old is he? If I were you I would make a point of leaving him alone a little every day as he will get used to it much quicker than if you only do it on the 3 days you are working. You can simply pop him in his crate (or wherever he goes when you need to leave him) and go into another room for a bit or pop to the shops. He is more likely to be anxious if you are there all of the time and then suddenly you are gone for ages.

    Also, make sure he has had some form of exercise and mental stimulation before you leave him so he is ready to sleep. When you leave give him something like a stuffed Kong to settle with. If you plan it well you can make his alone time a pleasant experience rather than one to dread. My girl actually gets excited when she sees us getting ready for work as she knows it means she's about to get a nice tasty chew. She has a walk in the morning and then just before we leave we send her out for wees and poos then she runs straight to the treat cupboard to see what she's having and then onto her bed to settle with the chew. The routine does help.
     
  10. Blitz

    Blitz PetForums VIP

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    Do you mean he was destructive when he was left or when you were there in the evening. If it was when he was left you should really not give him access to anything that matters. He should be in a pen, a crate or a small room that is dog proofed and have plenty of toys and a stuffed kong if you are in to those so that he can occupy himself without ruining anything that matters. If you mean he was destructive when you were there in the evening, again make sure there is nothing that matters within his reach. He will be gaining in confidence and getting more playful and into everything. It is just normal puppy behaviour.

    Stop stressing and enjoy him!
     
  11. Rubyritz09

    Rubyritz09 PetForums Newbie

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    He was left for 3 hours and then had a visit for half hour and then left for another 3 hours. In the evening he was very destructive but I didn’t know if it’s because he has been bored in the day? Maybe I’m being stupid,

    I think I’ll feel happier when I can walk him before walk to tire him out. He can go 5 hours so far and seemed fine. I just hear so much especially frenchies about the seperation anxiety and I think I’m the one with anxiety
     
  12. Rubyritz09

    Rubyritz09 PetForums Newbie

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    He also has his own room where if he is destructive it doesn’t matter as it’s out of sight. We also take turns to pop upstairs to leave him alone to get him used to us coming and going.
     
  13. Sairy

    Sairy PetForums VIP

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    How old is he?
     
  14. Rubyritz09

    Rubyritz09 PetForums Newbie

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    10 weeks
     
  15. Sairy

    Sairy PetForums VIP

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    In that case I personally think you are expecting a little too much of him. Five hours (IMO) is too long to leave a 10 week old puppy. They cannot hold their toilet at that age. Anyway, if what you have been doing has been working (despite him being a little more destructive in the evenings as that is to be expected if he has been alone for a while and therefore has plenty of energy) then carry on as you are and stop worrying. French bulldogs are no more likely than any other breed to get seperation anxiety.
     
  16. Rubyritz09

    Rubyritz09 PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you. You’ve been really reassuring. And I don’t expect not to come home to wee and poop. He’s only little so I don’t mind and he’s going on the puppy pad more so now which I’m happy with.
    We practice the garden when we’re at home!
     
  17. Burrowzig

    Burrowzig PetForums VIP

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    I agree.
    However many French Bulldogs - being so popular at the moment - are owned by first time dog owners who probably don't know enough about gradually acclimatising ANY pup to time alone. And all the sites that promote the idea of them being more prone to separation anxiety; well, the people running the page aren't going to bother setting up a statistical analysis of how prevalent SA might be, and owners of those that are fine left alone will be off doing something more interesting than posting about it - so of course you're going to get skewed reporting.
    @Rubyritz09 it sounds like you're doing really well. Try to relax more and enjoy having a pup. They grow up all too quickly.
     
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