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New Kitten Hate Me

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by jotried, Oct 21, 2020.


  1. jotried

    jotried PetForums Newbie

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    sorry long post , advice needed !

    we got our first ever cat / kitten on monday night . shes a moggy rescue , caught at 6-10 weeks old and she is now coming up to 5 months . The shelter lady said shes a lovely and playful cat , but all she has done is hiss at us . The first night we made her safe room my room , but we had to move it to the living room as she meowed and cried all night .

    The first night she hid in her bed and didnt come out , hissing at us if we came to close . However i left my bedroom door open to see if she wanted to explore while we were in bed that night and she did , meowing for her sisters and playmates from the shelter . She jumped up on my bed ( for a split second ) and jumped back down and hid away again . She would sit at the side of my bed and meow at me , looking at me , but when i tried to play with her she would hiss at me . Yesterday , she hid all day . First it was behind the guitar in the dining room , the behind the coat racket and then i opened her new cat carrier so she had a safe place to hide . She was in there from 12 pm-7:45pm . Periodically i would lay down and talk quietly to her or just read my book . Sometimes i would shake a toy or roll a ball in front of her . I even played cat videos ( the bird ones ) on my ipad for a little while .
    She ran into the living room , refusing to eat the kitten food (she hadnt eaten anything yet and it had been over 24 hours) and hid behind the sofa . She ended up wandering around the living room whilst me and my mum were in , even sniffing our legs but if we moved at all she would dart behind the couch and meow loudly . We thought this was great progress but when my mum tried to switch out the lamp she hissed at her loudly . We shut the living room door last night so she could explore peacefully , alone .

    She used the litter tray and ate some of the food but im not sure what else she did, my mum said she heard it playing or banging. She ate the felix , which she was on at the rescue but not the dry food she was on . I hope she eats the dry food as i bought her a big expensive high meat one , because i know how low on meat felix is .

    This morning my dad said she was behind the couch but when i went in to speak to her gently she was lodged between the cardboard box i left in there and and the little nook by the fireplace . i could hear her make noise , perhaps licking her paws or something . I tried to do a slow blink to show her im not a threat and shook some treats as if " hey if you come out ill give you a treat ! " however it was hard to see her as it was completely dark in there , but when i got up to leave she hissed at me again.

    im completely heartbroken , and at a loss on what to do here to show her im not a threat . I know it was going to be a long process but she wont even walk around near us ( besides at night ) im proud of the progress thus far but im scared she will never come out around us and hate us forever .

    I had a cry about because i feel so sorry for her , a big new home with people shes never seen before or met , and she is alone from all her sisters - and because she hissed at me.

    Any other tips on how to make her see im not a threat and to acclimatise her ? Im well aware it could take weeks for her to feel at home and I probably wont get cuddles . I know its early days , but any other advice ?
     
  2. Babyshoes

    Babyshoes PetForums VIP

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    Poor thing is just scared and missing her fur family. She doesn't hate you.

    It'll take time, patience and loads of treats. Eventually she'll come round to you, but for the moment try not to worry, just stay calm around her and talk quietly to her. It's very early days yet, especially as she was not a tiny baby when she first encountered humans. In a while, try dragging a piece of string slowly past her hiding place to tempt her out to play. Once she starts playing, she'll likely come out of her shell a bit more.

    Was there a reason you only got a single kitten? If she was bonded to her siblings, she'd love a friend to play with. Many shelters won't let kittens go alone, you either need to adopt 2, or have another cat at home that will become their friend.
     
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  3. Bertie'sMum

    Bertie'sMum Obedient Cat Slave

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    It's very early days - she just needs lots of time and patience.

    You're doing all the right things but you've put it in a nutshell yourself
    Just keep doing what you're doing and eventually you'll be rewarded with a friendly, playful cat :)
     
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  4. jotried

    jotried PetForums Newbie

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    deleted
     
  5. jotried

    jotried PetForums Newbie

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    I just feel that guilty for her! I know in time she will come out her shell, I feel like a bad for my furbaby :(
     
  6. jotried

    jotried PetForums Newbie

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    Hi,

    Most of the other siblings were already had new homes lined up for them. We didn’t even think about getting another kitten/cat because it was our first time as a family having a cat. (my dad grew up with cats, mum didnt.)

    I feel guilty about not getting her a friend to come home with but I have terrible anxiety and having two cats would be a big jump from none.

    Thank you for the reassurance, ive been feeling horrible since monday with pure guilt, as all i want to do is provide her with a loving home. I am well aware its early days, just feel terrible for the poor thing. Hopefully she will come out her shell soon enough, or at least take some treats from me.
     
  7. Bertie'sMum

    Bertie'sMum Obedient Cat Slave

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    @jotried - you've nothing to feel guilty about ! maybe feel a little sad for her that she's missing her siblings - but she will soon realise that you are no threat and that, in fact, you're quite good to be around:) The fact that she's eaten and used her litter tray shows that she's part way there already.
     
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  8. Tigermoon

    Tigermoon PetForums VIP

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    She is hiding because she is frightened and is hissing because she feels threatened so is warning you to stay away. Remember that it takes a cat three days to understand it has moved home and lost it's previous family; three weeks to learn about the new family, house and the routines; and three months to feel settled, so you really only just need to give this little cat time.

    The living room is usually the busiest room in the house so she will be under constant challenge there, hence why the advice is generally to put a new cat into a quite room for a few days. Make sure you only try to interact when you have plenty of time as cats need time to watch and consider, they need to assess the situation to see if they are in danger. Give her space and don't look directly at her, let her approach you not the other way around. Slow blinking is good. Hold some treats in your hand rather than in the packet and gently toss them in her direction as she becomes more confident you can throw them a little closer to you, but take your time and let her dictate the pace of progress.
     
  9. Tawny75

    Tawny75 PetForums VIP

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    One thing I did when mine was a ktten after a tip on here was sat and read quietly aloud in the same room. This meant he got used to the sound of my voice and eventually he came out from under the TV (where he still likes to go to this day)
     
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  10. jotried

    jotried PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you so much! Hearing it from people who are not my family is completely reassuring. Not matter how much research you do can prepare you for reality! :Bookworm

    Currently quietly sitting in the living room with her whilst she is in her nook and doing my uni readings. Think shes having a snooze after most likely partying all night.
     
  11. jotried

    jotried PetForums Newbie

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    Oddly enough, we dont usually spend much time in the living room. Its mostly empty through the day, besides when my mum does the ironing and watches tv at night (when kitty seems to get a bit more confident) but other than that its empty. Initially we were going to use the dining room but its open plan with our kitchen so its busier than the living room will ever be, so living room is quietest option.

    Thank you for the guidelines! I have seen so many numbers and timelines online and its been hard to get to grips with how long the process actually be- I knew it could be a while! I will try again tonight to see if i can coax her with treats, as they smell (to her) delish and she perks her ears up at the sound of them.

    Thank you again!
     
  12. Bertie'sMum

    Bertie'sMum Obedient Cat Slave

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    When she is a little more settled we'd love to see some photos of her :)
     
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  13. jotried

    jotried PetForums Newbie

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    Dont you worry I will keep you posted on her! heres the only photo i have gotten so far, when she was on patrol in my room the first night. Hopefully in a few weeks I will have some better photos to provide! :)
     

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  14. Bertie'sMum

    Bertie'sMum Obedient Cat Slave

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    What a pretty little girl :)

    Now I see that she is a "tortie" that explains a lot :D:D:D Torties (tortoiseshell after their coat pattern or Calico in the USA) are well known for having a mind of their own - not called "naughty torties" without reason :rolleyes::rolleyes: I'm sure she'll be bringing you lots of joy and fun in the future :)
     
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