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Need some advice

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by LucinderA, Jun 17, 2017.


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  1. LucinderA

    LucinderA PetForums Newbie

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    Hi was hoping for some advice from you guys. I had to move back home with my Mother and Father around 6 months ago due to a relationship breakdown. I had to bring my dog with me also. The trouble is my Mum and Dad are very old school when it comes to how you should treat a dog. Despite me telling them I am not comfortable with what they are doing, having arguments, sit down talks, all the good stuff it still carries on. Some of you would say I should just move out but this is my last resort living here apart from being on the streets, which I really don't want.

    The behaviour towards her which I have seen that I really do not like is mainly hitting and shouting at her. She's a Dachshund called Layla, she's 2 years old. She's a very well behaved dog I would say and that's not a biased view either, if she was out of control or whatever I would accept that.

    My Dad seems to be the one who is most rough with her. Today for example she was trying to get onto a bench seat in the garden. So she had her front legs on the bench and her back legs on the floor, my Dad who was sitting near her decided for some reason he would wipe her back legs out with his foot instead of telling her to get down. She obviously fell over onto her side and she yelped. I was sat right near them both and I didn't even see it coming. He didn't seemed annoyed that she was trying to get on the bench and normally it's something she is allowed to do. Obviously I was furious.

    He's also very handy with her or heavy handed, like he will hit her on the nose, on the rump and I really don't like it. Even when he's giving her a treat he will hit her! It's SO bloody weird. He will tell her to sit or something for a treat and whilst she's about to sit he will hit her! My Mum seems to shout at her a lot too. It reminds me a lot of how I was treated when I was growing up to be honest.

    I don't know what to do guys. I've had countless talks with them about it and what I can do to make it easier for them and I have stuck to my side of the deal but they haven't. Anyone ever been in this situation? or have any advice for me?
     
  2. Nonnie

    Nonnie PetForums VIP

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    Dont let her near your parents at all if thats how they treat her.

    Keep her on a house line and near you when you are at home, when you arent confine her to your room.

    Tbh, if thats how she is treat on a regular basis, and moving out isnt an option, id be tempted to have her fostered, returned to the breeder, or rehomed.
     
  3. labradrk

    labradrk PetForums VIP

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    No I've not been in that situation because if anyone so much as thought of doing that to any of my dogs I'd go f'ing mental. Like seriously mental.
     
  4. Rafa

    Rafa PetForums VIP

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    Yes.

    Wait until your Dad is about to sit down, go and kick his legs from under him and say "What goes around comes around".

    If that's not an option, keep your little dog with you at all times and if you even see either of your bullying Parents about to hit her, tell them in no uncertain terms to keep their hands to themselves.
     
  5. catz4m8z

    catz4m8z PetForums VIP

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    Id agree with this. If you dont have anybody sympathetic who could foster her for a while then dont let your parents near her.
    Given that Daxies are at risk of back injuries they could really hurt her by their behaviour.
     
  6. Dogloverlou

    Dogloverlou PetForums VIP

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    I'd be keeping the dog either attached to me at all times via a tether, or at least having her in the same room as me so I could keep my eye on all interactions between her & my parents. Their behaviour is not acceptable & your poor dog must be feeling very fearful & as if she's living on egg shells.

    If you're able to I'd also be laying down the rules to your parents regarding treatment of the dog & that their behaviour will no longer be tolerated. If they won't accept 'talks' about this, I'd just simply tell them in a fashion they're obviously more comfortable with - confrontational.
     
  7. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell Banned

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    ERmmmm..... that could work but if the OP goes too far, she could end up homeless. Which won't be good for her or the dog.
     
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  8. houndog

    houndog PetForums Member

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    I know its difficult because you are living with them in their property but you have to do your best to protect your little dog from the rough behaviour. As has already been said, keep her close by you or watch her like a hawk whenever she goes near them, especially your dad. I do hope you can sort this out as its not fair on your dog.
     
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  9. MiffyMoo

    MiffyMoo PetForums VIP

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    Agreed. As the others have said, keep her near you and out of your parent's way.

    If at all possible, save as hard as possible to get a deposit for a little flat for the two of you
     
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  10. rottiepointerhouse

    rottiepointerhouse PetForums VIP

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    Poor little dog she must be so confused, its not like she is doing anything wrong to warrant (not than it would but you know what I mean) such bullying behaviour from a grown man. It sounds like an intolerable situation. If you can do what others have suggested and keep her with you or crated in your room when you are out then as a short term measure that might work but that of course depends on whether your parents would let her out when you are at work. I tend to agree that if you can't resolve the situation I would try and find someone to foster her or consider speaking to a breed specific rescue or her breeder about taking her on as that bullying just isn't fair on her.
     
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  11. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell Banned

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    OP, Have you tried getting on your council's housing list? If you tell them you left your relationship due to abuse and there's overcrowding at your parents, you could get quite a few points and find somewhere for you and your pup.
     
  12. Dogloverlou

    Dogloverlou PetForums VIP

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    Meh, I'm a rebellious type anyway. No way would I sit back & accept their behaviour just because I have to if that makes sense. Perhaps OP hasn't made it clear enough, which can be done without any sort of confrontation but if they're not listening no talking in the world is obviously going to help.
     
  13. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell Banned

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    Yeah..... I'm guessing you've never lived on the street.
     
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  14. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    @Hanwombat was in a similar situation and her breeder cared for her dog, whilst she got back on her feet. So I just want to highlight the fact...good breeders do and will understand problems like this arise and will bend over backwards to give the dogs they brought in to the world, the love and care they need whilst brilliant owners get their life back in order. Heartbreaking as it was to be separated at the time, I am sure it was the most sensible thing to do.

    Hanwombat..hope you don't mind me bringing this up as Nonnie has made a very valid point. Look at Bigby and your relationship that shines through.. even though his gratitude is shown with wet willies all the time. Yuck!

    OP how soon do you think you may get on your feet again?
     
  15. Dogloverlou

    Dogloverlou PetForums VIP

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    You can guess what you want. That's what I'd do. But then again, I have parents who would listen to my repeated attempts of reasonable requests to stop doing something that made me feel uncomfortable etc...well my mum anyway.

    Failing that, it would be the tether option as I also suggested :)
     
  16. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Administrator
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    I have to agree that this sort of treatment is intolerable and dangerous. Knocking her off her hind legs could have seriously injured her back causing permanent paralysis - unbelievably cruel. I second the idea of having her fostered until you can provide a safe home for her. She's also at risk of suffering emotional damage, she must be so confused and fearful.
    If you give us a rough location maybe someone can help. There's a page on Facebook, Dachshunds anonymous , where you might find help.
     
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  17. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell Banned

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    I totally agree the parent's behaviour to the dog is totally wrong. Not arguing about that. I'm just saying the OP isn't in a situation where she can insist on much. I would try and get the dog fostered. But to say she should argue with her parents about it could put both her and the dog in a worse situation. I know what it's like to live on the street and wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Especially those who can be blase about it cos they don't know.
     
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  18. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    #18 Calvine, Jun 17, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2017
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  19. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    I have to ask myself...if that is how the father treats the dog when the owner is present, how much does he do when she's out and not able to see what's happening? In her position, I would be worrying about the dog every minute she was out of my sight.:(
     
    #19 Calvine, Jun 17, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2017
  20. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    I m sorry you are in this position.:( What your dad is doing is cruel and TBH If i saw someone doing that to a dog I'd ring the RSPCA.
    For the sake of your dog , consider fostering until you are in a better situation . is there a dogs trust near you , they might know people who foster . Heartbreaking for you especially as you have recently been in a relationship break up but you need to consider whats best for your dog .
     
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