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Discussion in 'General Chat' started by bulldog200, Apr 2, 2011.
Hey guys really need a laugh Quick
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
> Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
> Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
> About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
> 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.
> Could we please do it one more time?'
> Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
> Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
> He touches his wife's shoulder and asks,
> 'Honey, please... just one more time before I die.'
> She says, 'Of course, Dear,' and they make love for the third time.
> After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep.
> Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
> He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours.
> Do you think we could...'
> At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough I have to get up in the morning.... you dont
Hahahaha yeah i like that
happy to help :001_smile:
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underpants."
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!"
Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."
She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?"
His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"
Hahahahahaha that is fantastic
thanks guys just need to get rid of what happened today
You have a bad day then?
yeah really bad day ,i wrote it in my post i dont want poeple to think i am soft ,it really freaked me
are you ok
Not really pretty freaked out
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.*
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.*
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.*
"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?".*
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.*
"Yes I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.*
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car having sex?"*
"Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.*
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"*
"I remember that too" she replies softly.*
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today".*
Don't remember if I put this one up already some where but hear this make me giggle
what happen (((hugs))
dont know if i can write it here ,i wrote it in my post and i dont wanna get in trouble for writing 2 of the same things in different posts ,is it okay to do that
following the death of eddie stobart yesterday they are making a film about his life
it looks good
i have seen the trailer
heres your post
awwww ((((masive hugs))) what a nutter
more laughs please