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My little Poco will be laid to rest tomorrow, after a long tough battle.

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by Sharon Kerrigan, Jan 23, 2019.


  1. Sharon Kerrigan

    Sharon Kerrigan PetForums Newbie

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    This will be a long post, and it may be useless to many but my poor soul has experienced so much and I've learned many a things that have helped him along the way that may help someone else with their little fur baby.

    Poco is 3 years and 4 months old, we got him in September 2015. My first pet as an adult and the first cat I'd had. He was the smallest but the most beautiful of the litter, big blue eyes and I immediately chose him as mine. My other half isn't fond of animals, has some allergies however even he was out that night bringing him in plush beds and scratching posts. I learned that he was probably too young to be away from his mum as despite what Id been told, he couldnt use the litter tray or drink kitten milk from a bowl. A few days past with me off work feeding him from a baby bottle with a face cloth wrapped around him like a big hankerchief, I wish so bad I had a picture of him in those moments. Turned out he would only eat chicken and bananas which was only discovered as he climbed up on us to get to them when we ate, tried all the vet advised foods and behaviorual trainers to try and rectify this but he just out right refused anything aside from boiled chicken. His first couple years he was energetic, vocal and playful, always causing havoc and in those days, I remember getting frustrated at the chaos he caused, the last 6 months Ive encouraged it!
    He was lonely so we added another male to the gang, Chico and after initial territorial adjustments, they became good friends.

    We at this point lived in a flat with big open windows, there was scaffolding outside and Poco got free and fell. He appeared ok and I should have taken him to the vet but I didnt as he was walking, eating, drinking and using the tray normally. Again hindsight haunts, I should have been more responsible and perhaps Poco wouldnt be at this stage now. Ill never know if the fall contributed really, but I will always blame myself on some level. The fall was about 11 months before he started withdrawing, displaying behavioural issues with Chico and showing obvious signs of pain. I took him to the vets in May 2018 and left with a Feliway Friends spray as she believed the issues were due to tension between the cats. Poco at this stage was ravenously hungry, eating everything ( which he never does ) ravaging bins, screaming at us for more food, but was also having problems standing and maintaining balance. He often fell over to the one side, and presented a wide gait in his hind legs. I went back to the vet explaining this, and the fact his stools were yellow and sometimes tainted with fresh blood. A few weeks passed and I insisted on bloods being done as my research online pointed towards liver issues. The vet called advising his ALT levels were over 1000, (should be between 20-100) and therefore his liver was failing hence his lethargy and pain. I was certain at this stage the insurance wouldnt cover Poco as GI diseases were exempt and the vet was charging £500 per 24 hours of care. I paid £1000 up front and sent Poco off to the hospital for some IV and liver drugs.

    That night I stayed up late researching and worrying and found that liver drugs can often make the problem worse for pets especially suffering from liver issues due to the reduced ability to filter the toxins and went on to searching herbal alternatives and discovered milk thistle, which the compound SamE helps heal the liver. I discussed this with the vet the next day and she advised that is infact what is in the £60 tablets she has been administering, except accompanied with other drugs harmful to his fragile system. I left and went to Holand and Barrets to buy millk thistle and began giving it to Poco with milk every morning. The next week his ALT had reduced to 200 and he was appearing all round more well, at this point I was relieved however the vet insisted on more tests and referred us to the animal hospital for a liver biopsy. Poco was kept in overnight, seen by neurologists, occupational therapists and a variety of professionals who attributed his symptoms to something neurological, perhaps a brain tumour. I was advised an MRI could be done to clarify but even if it were, no further treatment would be carried out.

    I left the hospital with the affirmation I would find something and as long as he wasnt in pain I would keep him with us. I used hemp oil for cats which instantly after giving it, he started grooming, standing better and picking up. I put this down to the fact it was a natural painkiller and anti-inflammatory benefits and crossed my fingers, Ive always held hope in the power of CBD. That was 7 months ago, in that time we bought another house with a garden and Chico has been loving it. Poco although he doesnt get to enjoy outside, enjoys the bigger space and has been hobbling up and down the stairs. A few times he has fallen with may have quickened his deterioration. About 2 weeks ago he started falling over much more than normal, I changed the litter tray to one that low but it seems his neurological issues are triggered when he pees as hes started to almost backflip when he does. Hes been incontinent a few times, fell in the tray many a times, and for the first time has been less excited about meal times. He is still eating and Im making sure hes getting plenty a treat and hydration but hes just so exhausted.



    I called the vet this week to make the call and in 22 hours and 14 minutes from now my poor little Poco will no longer be with us. I've arranged for it to be at home and have spent the last few days fussing over him, carrying him around, washing and grooming him ( he neglected it due to pain recently), and helping him pee. There are moments when I wished I hadnt made the call, like when he yesterday, unexpectedly begins grooming his paw or wags his tail when I say 'You mums good boy Poco' a million times a day but I know now, deep down that its for the best. I witnessed him what appeared to be seizuring in his sleep last night, he may have just been sleeping but I know the end is near and I want it to be as dignified as possible.

    I dont know how i will cope tomorrow. Poco from day one has always been a special little soul needing a magnitude of care and love and I've always known no one would be able to or willing to look after him how I do. I know deep down I have tried everything I possibly could for Poco, every supplement, treatment and spent every waking minute possible searching everything and anything for my poor baby and it just has not been enough. I was too full of hope when I left the animal hospital last year and didnt value these last months just as much as I should have, another thing I wont forgive myself for but I know that I cannot continue his suffering.

    He will have all the sqooshy cream, cheese and chicken he wants until tomorrow and I will try my utmost hardest to be the strong owner he needs, a comfort to him in this moment Ill never get over. I cant stop crying and I know on here, people will empathise.
    These pets are never just pets, they are our family. I cancelled uni, work, training and everything else for the week and have spent it with Poco cuddling on the sofa, talking nice to him just loving him, I just really hope he feels my love and it brings him comfort.



    Poco, my beautiful boy.. You take a piece of my heart with you and I hope you feel my love in your ever-after. Xxx
     
    #1 Sharon Kerrigan, Jan 23, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2019
  2. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    That's so sad Sharon, it doesn't sound as though he has much quality of life. Bless you for putting his needs first, cuddle him and spoil him, he will know how much you loved him.
     
  3. Kittynanna

    Kittynanna PetForums Senior

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    So sorry.......thinking of you.
     
  4. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    :( Im so sorry to hear about Poco,
     
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