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My heart bleeds for some people

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by sequeena, May 27, 2010.


  1. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    I'm on another forum for abuse survivors and a girl (19) just told me her story and how she's just self harmed etc and how it's all her fault what's happened to her.

    I just want to give her a big hug and tell her nothing that's happened is her fault and take all her pain away :(

    There are some disgusting people in this world. They ruin our lives and make us feel worthless.

    I don't know how to help her, it's frustrating.
     
  2. Clare7435

    Clare7435 PetForums VIP

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    The online support groups are a godsend in many ways aren't they....but at times it's so difficult to know what to do and you can be left feeling pretty useless through not being able to do anything active to help and not knowing where people are.
    I was a member of a group like the one you talk of some time ago and there was a very similar girl speaking out, but this girl was tlking of ending it all and we where all distraught because we could do nothing but watch as she posted all of the things she did during the evening.In the end the forum rules changed and people where asked not to post things like this, at first I thought it was too harsh to ask people not to post when at a time they felt so awful, but I kind of understood why he did too because with the few posts this girl posted, many many more people suffered the trauma od the after efects causing them more problems.
    Similar to you I suppose, you are obvioulsy dealing with some sensitive issues and are upset over this young ladies story, but when it comes to other things like what the young lady I am speaking of was doing.....all over the country there where people like me feeling useless knowing what this lass was doing and we couldnt do a damn thing about it....that's an awful feling to have when you feel so low in the first place.
    on't get me wrong there was a links page for those who did feel like they wanted to end things with links to sites and many phone numbers to call at times of distress so the mods weren't heartless, but they had to think of everyone else too.
    I suppose what I'm trying to say is that it's easy to get so involved in helping others on sites like that and lose sight of why you are there in the first place...be kind to you sequeena as well as everyone else, you need to continue through your journy of survival too....
    I hope you feel a little better soon
    Clare xx
     
  3. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Thank you hun x there is a ban on talk of plotting suicide etc too as it's seen as a trigger to us all and we are not professionals to deal with that sort of thing but we talk about SI and the like. It broke my heart knowing whilst I was talking to her she was hurting herself and at the same time I completely understood why she was doing it :crying:

    It's like we are literally her support group as she's not had the oppurtunity to speak to people and there's only so much I can say as I'm going through it all myself.

    That poor girl :(
     
  4. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    Self harm/mutilation is a terrible punishment to inflict on your body and I fully understand why people do it. It’s not easy to deal with an emotional pain but it is far less complicated to cope with a physical one. If only those who trigger this behaviour knew how it sends everyone to hell, not just the sufferer, their friends and their relatives. But they never do because they have no conscience and therefore no remorse. Sometimes it has to be realised that some in this life are far better than they believe themselves to be and far greater than others will ever be. Essentially those non-descripts who want them to be less.
     
  5. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Exactly :(

    I have the scars for life now. I know why they're there and at the time it was the only outlet I had. I don't regret it one bit. I WANTED to do it but it wasn't right :(
     
  6. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    It must be truely awfull for these people, not knowing what to say for the best. My son was self harming and it was his friend that told me to look at his arms and legs. He always wore long sleeve jumpers and tops so the cuts were always covered up, and I didnt see the sign's either which is what upset me more. Adam suffers from ADHD and pupils of his school knew what buttons to push and he would go off on one big time. he didnt know how to stop it all and it got the better of him and this is what he was doing. Long story but I ended up havig a good talk to him and helping him out, long process but he dont do it now thank god. I have told the school so they were aware of it too, so they keep an eye out now and stamp it out as soon as it starts. I do feel so sorry for the person who self harms. My heart goes out to them all and their families. xxxxxx
     
  7. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    That is so sad :( I'm glad he's ok now though, good for him!!

    I have 3 scars from it and hopefully no more. It's just so sad :nonod:
     
  8. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    Its the not knowing what to say for the best, and even though you know it is the best thing for them to do, it is them who have to come to terms that they need help and go for it, but that isnt as easy for them sometimes. Isnt is suprising just how many do Self Harm, and some you talk to you wouldnt even guess that they do it.
    It is so sad that they feel there is no one that they can trust to talk to about their problems as they think no one will understand. All we can do it be there for them and give them the support and be there for them. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  9. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    It's very hard. When you're dealing with abuse you've been braindwashed/groomed etc into thinking no-one will believe you and it's your fault :( took me a long time to realise it wasn't my fault.
     
  10. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    Well done you, it does help to talk dont it, but still takes time to realise what other people say IS TRUE, it isnt your fault at all, its like a seed have been planted in your brain and it grows and you cant stop it from taking over. You have done so well, well done. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  11. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    That's exactly it. Thanks :)
     
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