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My First Dog

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Max Wright, Mar 19, 2021.


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  1. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hello!

    I've been wanting to get my first dog for a very long time but having a very hard time convincing my parents. Their big issue is that we have a cat who is 7 years old and doesn't even like people very much, let alone a new puppy joining the family and their fear is our cat running away and not wanting to come back. I've had a deep dive into researching about how to make it as easy as possible, for example giving a place for the cat to be alone as well as when introducing the puppy take a toy or blanket around the house to make my cat aware of the scent. Has anyone else had any experiences in having their first dog with a cat and any tips to convince my family?

    The second reason for getting a puppy is that I often have anxiety and when visiting friends or family with pets I have a sense of calm and happiness with dogs that I just don't get anywhere else and again was wondering if others share a similar feeling.

    Thanks for any feedback, its all appreciated and fingers crossed I win them over!

    (tempted to get one, then they can't say no!)
     
    #1 Max Wright, Mar 19, 2021
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2021
  2. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    I'm sorry Max but that's a shockingly bad idea! I'm afraid while you're living in your parent's house it's their rules.
    Not sure how old you are but my advice is to leave dog ownership until you have your own place and plenty of time to care for it's needs. Owning a dog isn't a cure for anxiety, it can be quite the opposite.
    My advice is to volunteer at a local rescue for a while, or join ' Borrow My Doggie' so you get contact with dogs without the ties.

    https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/
    You could also look into doing a Canine First Aid course, always useful, and when you're over 16 think about Dog walking.
    Good luck.:)
     
  3. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hi Susie!

    Thanks for the quick response! I'm actually 21 and will be moving out in the future. Its not that they don't want one, its that they're worried about what the cats reaction would be.

    Thanks :)
     
  4. Blacky90

    Blacky90 PetForums Junior

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    Do you have any idea when you are moving? I don't know where you plan to get the dog from but I would use this time to research and volunteer somewhere so you can get experience with different breeds and characters.
     
  5. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hey Blacky90,

    So I am looking to move in the future but as you could probably appreciate it's very hard to at this moment in time but have been saving up so probably wouldn't be for a few years yet. I have also looked after friends and family's dogs including my girlfriends Husky (pain in the bum) and Lurcher and have been around dogs most of my life.

    Thanks :)
     
  6. O2.0

    O2.0 PetForums VIP

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    Bear in mind that while dogs are indeed wonderful at helping us with anxiety, dog ownership itself can be fraught with anxiety, particularly if you're already prone to it.
    If your dog finds situations scary or is reactive to people or other dogs, that will ramp up your own anxiety about these things rather than help them.

    Then there's the whole ethics of using dogs as emotional crutches....
     
  7. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hey O2.0,

    Thanks for the reply. I don't suffer from severe anxiety and wouldn't be the sole purpose for getting a dog, its more of as an addition when I'm around them I feel more uplifted and happier in myself. As I've said in my previous replies I am confident around dogs and aware of the different types of situations you can be in and never have I felt worse!

    Thanks :)
     
  8. Blacky90

    Blacky90 PetForums Junior

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    Any idea on what sort of dog?
     
  9. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hey Blacky90,

    Potentially looking at a Beagle.

    Thanks :)
     
  10. BlueJay

    BlueJay Pack of Losers

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    Its definitely worth considering the cats feelings... after all, he was there first!
    Does the cat not help with your anxiety at all?
    Puppies especially are not the adorable little balls of fun they are often portrayed as; as cute as they are, they are also bitey, annoying little poop machines who need to be taught everything and will chew up all or your prized belongings and get into untold mischief if you leave them unattended. The 'puppy blues' is a very real thing, and for good reason!

    I love my dogs more than anything in the whole world, but one of the things that winds me up no end is those pictures that people share on social media and the like
    2007-04-09C-380x480.gif e3f1a9faab2444bee31aa9667e49861b_1ecaed35c38ebc5429245a6ddcbf5b4e.jpg
    I cant help but feel that the people who make and share these images have very little experience of actual depression and anxiety. Dogs (or any pet, hobby, interest, family member, friend, anything) can definitely give people a reason to live, but they are NOT a cure for actual mental health issues.


    *Beagles are not known to be one of the easiest dogs to train either. I'd definitely recommend spending time around as many as possible before committing to anything.

    Temporary foster, or even minding a friends pet may be one way of gauging how your cat will react, but the cats wellbeing should really be your first consideration. Do also be very aware that there is a H U G E difference between hanging out with your friends pets, and being wholly responsible for a high maintenance living being and all of its needs for its whole life
     
  11. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hey BlueJay,

    Thanks for the responses! That's all super helpful information that I would take on board :)

    I agree its not fair at all to solely get a dog for mental health, like I said its just a feeling I get when i'm around them.

    Thanks again for the advice :)

    Edit: I'm not just focusing on a puppy as I would love to prioritise rehoming a dog instead of buying a puppy. Its hard to find one in a kennel that's okay with cats.
     
  12. O2.0

    O2.0 PetForums VIP

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    Have you raised a puppy?
    The puppy blues is very real.
    Add to that the rest of the family not being on board and it can go bad....
    Owning a dog and being around dogs is not the same thing.

    Also worth considering - what do you have to offer to a dog? Why would you be a good owner?
     
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  13. LinznMilly

    LinznMilly Moderator
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    Parents' house, parents' rules. Doesn't matter if you're 21, 51, or 12.

    It doesn't matter what your parents' reason/s are for not getting a dog or a puppy. Their answer is no. Getting a dog or puppy behind their backs is disrespectful. No, they can't say "No", but they can demand you return/re-home the dog and/or threaten to kick you out if you don't. Have you considered that?

    The cat's welfare and security is a major thing to consider. It wouldn't be fair on the cat to disrupt its life like that.

    You sound really naïve for a 21 year old. Maybe it's just me.
     
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  14. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hey O2.0,

    I appreciate everyone helping but I'm not really getting any feedback for the issues that I stated. Ideally if we can keep it on topic about how possible it would be to get my cat used to a new dog would be great instead of picking apart whether I have the capability to care for a dog which I do.

    Thanks :)
     
  15. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    @Max Wright: Who would be the main caregiver for this dog? Would you be home to look after a puppy or do you work full-time?
     
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  16. BlueJay

    BlueJay Pack of Losers

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    May also be worth considering your future if you do intend to move out in the not too distant!
    - how easy it will be to find somewhere to rent with a dog in your area
    - if that place is dog suitable (garden, walks etc)
    - how long a dog would be alone while you work
    - potential dog sitting costs (as well as finding a suitable one)
    - budgeting vet care, food, insurance and everything else dog related on top of human bills, especially if you are living alone
    - where you generally intend to be in life in the next 10 - 15 years and how a dog would fit in with that


    Surely, especially if your parents (who own the house you are in right now?) are not on board with getting a dog, then how to introduce dogs and cats should be pretty low down on the list of things to consider right now?
    Pets of any kind of a luxury, not a necessity :)
     
  17. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Hey Calvine,

    Yes i'll be at home full time but work from home.

    Thanks :)
     
  18. O2.0

    O2.0 PetForums VIP

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    There's a sticky on how to introduce dogs and cats.
    https://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/how-to-introduce-dogs-and-cats-successfully.534671/

    I'm with linz, you sound a little naïve and I'm worried you don't fully understand the commitment and responsibility owning a dog entails.

    What is it about you and your current and future position that makes you a good home for a dog? It's a fair question. You don't have to answer it on here, but if you can't answer it at all, that's a problem.
     
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  19. Max Wright

    Max Wright PetForums Newbie

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    Thanks for the link with the lovely patronisation on the side. :)
     
  20. tabelmabel

    tabelmabel Banned

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    When i was a child, we had an older cat and brought a puppy in. The cat left home!! Not far. Our house backed onto a field and the cat sat at the edge of the field with her back to our house. Day after day for about 2 weeks. In actual fact the pup had parvo and didnt live long which is another story altogether. When it died, the cat moved back in and we never got another pup whilst that cat was alive.

    Cats in general do not welcome pups into their environments. Your parents' concerns are valid. Respect their views.
     
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