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Moving on

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Kendrick87, Nov 12, 2019.

  1. Kendrick87

    Kendrick87 PetForums Newbie

    Nov 10, 2019
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    Hello. I posted a similar post on another thread a couple of days ago but it was on a sub thread so thought I'd repost it here for more people to see. Admin, feel free to close the other thread down.

    I rehomed my cat, Kenny, this week and am having a hard time without him here, so just wanted to share my story while I process this loss.

    I live with my partner, our three-year-old son and our 6-month old daughter. A little over a year ago we adopted Kenny, a rescue cat (the name drew me to him as it's the same as mine).

    After initially being cautious with us he started to warm to me but unfortunately he did not get on with our boisterous son. I tried to teach my son how to act around him and things did improve but unfortunately the relationship between Kenny and my partner deteriorated, as did her mental health. She became very unwell despite receiving support in the community and around two months ago she was admitted to a mother and baby ward in a psychiatric hospital. Not long after I told the doctor about my partner's strained relationship with our cat, and she advised we rehome him.

    When my partner began to recover she told me she missed Kenny and did not want to rehome him, so I decided to hold off doing so. In the last couple of weeks my partner has been having several overnight stays at home and their strained relationship has not improved. I have also noticed that Kenny seems much more anxious when my partner is in the house, hiding away or asking to go outside when she is downstairs whereas when it is just me there he will come and cuddle me.

    One night last week she told me she did not want Kenny in the house any more, so I rang the adoption centre to get him on the waiting list. After only a few days I got a call that there was a space and I could drop him off in the morning. That was Monday. I've been incredibly upset since that phonecall and especially on the morning I took him to the rescue centre. I feel like I have lost someone very dear to me and it breaks my heart. Kenny meant so much to me. I feel silly for getting so emotional but this is simply how I feel.

    My partner did try to talk me out of it on the morning I took him because she could see how upset I was. She also woke me up this morning saying she missed him and wanted him back, but I explained that it is done and we now need to move on. Ultimately I felt I had to take this decision to protect my partner's welfare.

    Taking this decision was excruciating for me and it may sound melodramatic but walking away from him at the adoption centre was one of the worst experiences of my life.

    Since I've been home I keep looking out of the garden, waiting to see him jumping at the door to let him in. I keep hearing noises in the house and thinking it could be him. I'm on my own at the minute as my partner had to go back to hospital and our son is out. Kenny has been there for me and has really helped me through this difficult time. Now I feel lost. I miss him so much.

    I really love him but I felt I had to make a choice between him or my partner. It wasn't a choice that she forced on me but if you saw just how unwell she was I am sure you could understand. I never want to go back to that place. No-one should have to witness their loved ones go through that.

    The bright side is she is making a good recovery, although she's still not ready to be discharged from hospital. We are moving house to a much nicer home next month too. It's going to be a new start, I just wish Kenny could be there with us too.

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  2. Soozi

    Soozi PetForums VIP

    Jun 28, 2013
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    It must have been totally devastating for you I am so sorry. I can only imagine how you must have felt having to take Kenny to a rescue.
    I just wanted to wish you well for the future and the move to your new home. What’s done is done and I hope you and your OH can now move on to a new future. I hope Kenny has been rehomed successfully and is really happy.
    chillminx likes this.
  3. chillminx

    chillminx PetForums VIP

    Nov 22, 2010
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    Hello @Kendrick87 - I am so sorry you had to part with your much loved feline pal Kenny. Such a wrench, I would be heartbroken in your place too. But I think you had no alternative really, seeing as your partner did not get on with Kenny.

    Kenny sounds like a lovely cat with a kind, sweet nature. Wonderful he was there to give you comfort during the time when you needed it a lot. A cat with such a sweet nature as Kenny and with his handsome looks, will soon find a new home and the Shelter will carefully assess any potential adopter for suitability.

    I hope there are better times ahead soon, for you and your partner.
    Soozi likes this.
  4. Jaf

    Jaf PetForums VIP

    Apr 17, 2014
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    I’m sad for you but I think that you’ve made the right decision for Kenny and your family. It does sound like it would have been difficult to rebuild the relationship between your partner and Kenny.

    Do you think it might help you to know how Kenny is? Would the rescue give you any updates? You might be better with a clean break though.

    I wish you and your young family well.
    Soozi likes this.
  5. Rufus15

    Rufus15 ~ Orrono Maine Coons ~

    Dec 4, 2015
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    Oh this is so hard :( I think a cat needs to be happy with the whole household, and if he was that unwilling to be around your partner then its unlikely that would have improved. You did the right thing for Kenny by the sound of it. Rehoming is hard, don't beat yourself up.

    Is your partner completely set against cats or is there a possibility to look at a kitten, potentially?
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