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More important, family or good friends?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Gem16, Mar 31, 2011.

  1. Gem16

    Gem16 PetForums VIP

    Aug 5, 2010
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    This morning i came to the conclusion that apart from my mum i cannot trust a single family member because they are full of lies and back stabbing bitchyness. I am fuming beyond belief.

    I always knew there was gossips but my dad and my nan have taken it too far. I am hurt. They don't even know me like they think they do but they apparently have the right to say such nasty things that i know i don't deserve.

    I have a few really good friends who have always stood by me and to my knowledge have not stabbed me in the back, alot of people say friends are your chosen family, so to you, who is 'more important' or to but it in a better way, who is more likely to be there for you? Family might be there in a crisis but it's only because they feel obligated, where as friends choose to help you out. Right?
  2. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

    Mar 8, 2011
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    As the old saying goes "You can choose your friends but not your family".

    Fortunately my 'family' is extremely small so my hassle is limited to my mother. My sister can be cool most of the time but has her moments.

    My best friend & my hubby are the two most important people in the world to me and I would walk over hot coals for them & even fight Lucifer himself if needs be.

    If Lucifer wanted me mother, on the other hand, I'd send her to him, complete with a bow on her head!!!!
  3. Sheen and Eli

    Sheen and Eli PetForums VIP

    Mar 28, 2010
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    For me it would be my sister she would do anything for me and me for her.My mum and dad too.
    But my OH hasn't had any contact with his whole family for over 13 years, they are monsters.
    You choose who you love and trust, think its different for everyone
  4. bird

    bird PetForums VIP

    Apr 2, 2009
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    Sorry you feel that way about your family.

    For me, it will always be family before friends, even though we're all flung about the country and spain. I only have to pick the phone up to any of them and they will be there for me. Even though we sometimes fight worse than cat and dog (or used to when we were younger) I can rely on them to be there and not expect any reward for doing so.
  5. Gem16

    Gem16 PetForums VIP

    Aug 5, 2010
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    This is why i am upset though, because i have loved and do love my family but they feel the need to constantly talk bad about people, my nan recently had cancer, none of the family except me and my mum went out of our way to visit her every day, take her shopping, go to london with her for hospital appointments, but now she is better she is saying damn right horrible stuff again. I don't like it.
    She is always reffering to times when my anxiety has been bad and laughs how there is something wrong with me and SHE had panic attacks when she was younger so more than anyone she should be understanding but no, not atall.
    And as for my dad he has never done a damn thing for me in my life but he says to my mum last night ooh i feel she isn't mine, well fine, seriously fine. I give up! Tip of the iceberg this is :(
  6. Fleur

    Fleur Vassal to Lilly and Ludo

    Jul 19, 2008
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    I have a couple of friends that I've known for 30+ years they are as much part of my family and extended family as any other member.
    My parents and in-laws have 'adopted' them as their own and they join us on all family events.
    I think real true friends are as important as family.
    I know if I lost one of these friends the loss would be as devastating to me as when I lost my sister.
    To me family and a true friend are equal as I love them all and my life would be less without them in it.
  7. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

    Apr 18, 2010
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    my family suck and aside from my boys, the rest are second to close friends who I consider my actual family, blood doesnt give rights to someones heart or respect.
  8. CharleyRogan

    CharleyRogan PetForums VIP

    Feb 20, 2009
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    Friends before family as you choose them... you are stuck with a family :/
  9. bexy1989

    bexy1989 PetForums VIP

    May 10, 2009
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    my gran and boyfriend are pretty much my family as i dont get on with my step dad and my mum isnt really a mum to me, my gran and boyfriend will ALWAYS come first to me.

    My boyfriends brother claims his famly mean alot to him but he always chooses his friends first. My boyfriend was meant to go on holiday with his brother and brothers best mate, they both knew he hated flying, but said best mate saw a hol i gran caneria and said lets go there and they booked it without even considering my boyfriends fear of flying
  10. harley bear

    harley bear PetForums VIP

    Feb 20, 2010
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    Family is so over rated! my oh doesnt speak to his immediate family because they are all t ossers and i dont have anything to do with mine, my dad is just a complete wase of oxygen, and i lost my mom when i was 18.....Now my best friend used to be my moms friend so in her 40s, im 24 and i wouldnt be without her! Not that i see alot of her but shes one of those people if you need someone she will be there and has been worth her weight in gold numerous times! She was there when both my boys were born and was amazing.

    I would choose a friend over family anyday!
  11. Horse and Hound

    Horse and Hound PetForums VIP

    May 12, 2010
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    My family mean the world to me and would do anything for me and vice versa.

    I also have my hubby to be and my close friends that I feel the same about, but ultimately if the **** hit the fan, my mum would be the one I would call crying.
  12. DaisytheTT

    DaisytheTT PetForums Senior

    Jan 20, 2011
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    Unfortunately people have the ability to hurt you whether they are blood related or a friend, that's just the way it is :(

    People have allsorts of different personalities and outlooks on life and just because you are related to them doesn't mean you are always going to get on with them or like them even. I think too much emphasis is given over to blood being thicker than water and I'm sorry but I don't buy it.

    There are two sayings, we hurt those closest to us and friends are the family we choose for ourselves. I stand by both of these schools of thought.

    My OH and I have no relationship with his sister and her family and I have a very very difficult father who I have not had contact with in 8 years and I have absolutely no desire to rekindle either of those relationships. Life is ultimately very short and I think you owe it to yourself to spend time with people who make you feel alive and happy and not be dragged down spending time and energy on relationships that really aren't working.

    I have family members who I would stand infront of a thundering truck for and I have other family members who I would quite happily (almost) push in front of that same truck if you get my meaning.

    Life and relationships are what you make it, it doesn't matter if they are great relationships with family or with friends, it's how they make you feel that is important.
  13. Eroswoof

    Eroswoof Guest

    :lol: I haven't got either apart from a lovely dad in the family part so I'm going to have to vote for Bumble and other things with fur and multiple legs :thumbup:

  14. KathrynH

    KathrynH Guest

    It is a really tricky one for me to be honest as i have lost both my parents, both my grandparents and all i have left is me and my sister and an aunt and uncle who i love dearly.

    But me and my sister are not speaking and cant stand each other so half of me says friends but then i love my new family who are my husbands family, my sons, my 3 stepsons so i now have a lush new family.

    So will say family over friends, i only have one "best" "wonderful" friend that i can rely on and that will do anything for me, who loves me unconditionally and that is SUZY on here, apart from that i don't have any "REAL" friends, they all say there my friends but they soon show there true colours.
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